Mine thinks you can do everything like a month before. He's really believes its not hard. He honestly doesn't have clue about picking colours. That particular shade, cakes, decorations etc etc etc. I've only just strated narrowing down my ideas and i'm goin to Jamaica in January to look at Hotel. He's like its too soon we can wait. December is only high season in Jamaica for all hotels. Really whats yor FH like, are men really that bad? or is it just mine?
Message was edited by islandgirl2 on Dec 12, 2006 1:46 PM
Mine is totally like that. This is a recent conversation:
Me: "I'm stressing out about nailing down a photographer!"
Him: "Relax, just wait until after the holidays to worry about it. July is ages away!"
Me: "If I wait, we might not be able to find someone good for July, that's peak wedding season!"
Him: "So, we end up not having a photographer. Would that really be so bad?"
ARRRRGH. I totally know how you feel, you are exactly right and you need to start thinking about everything as soon as you can! For some reason a lot of guys think it's not that big a deal, but I suspect it's because traditionally all the man has had to do is show up at the church and then party afterward!
I'm surprised that my FH is as involved as he is. He actually cared about the colors, the photographer, the decorations .... little details he doesn't care about. For the most part, I do all the planning but he'll tell me when he doesn't like something. Like I wanted red for the color scheme, and he said no... :-) He picked our DJ and has gone with me to all the appointments.
My FH is really calm about the wedding stuff. He makes a few phone calls here and there for me, but all of the timing of planning was done by me. So, I would make appointments, he would come with and give his opinion and we would decide together. The only thing he really wanted to be a major force in was the invitations and the registry. He went crazy with th registry, it was nice to see him having fun with some part of the wedding. Im not sure why he is so into the invitation stuff, but he is helping to design and then I am going to pick from the 5 designs that are put together. He also asked that he go by him self with his GM to pick out the tuxes. I said fine, only because, of one comment he made about them. He said, this is a formal wedding not prom, dont worry I'm not going to pick anything crazy out, I just want a classic black and white tux and no tails. Hey, cant go wrong with that!!!
I would try to involve him is much as you can. I did this because my when my (male) cousin got married,he said he hated the fact that his wife took over everything and all he had to do was "show up". He said he did not even know what the reception site looked like, the cake, the colors of the wedding...he really played no role in his wedding, and he was really upset about it. So, I kept that in mind when planning.
At the beginning of our engament my fiance and I made a deal. I would take care of all the wedding plans that way I could make sure things were exactly how I wanted them and he would take care of all the honeymoon plans. I think our deal is working out great.
Even though my FH is on the road more than he is at his home, he is still helping me pick out a lot of things for the wedding. I choose a few options for him to pick from and he chooses the one he likes. This saves a lot of time and he doesn't get bored with having to think about every little detail. He likes putting his two cents in and I want him to feel comfortable with the things that are chosen. After all it's his day too. Life's too short to be unhappy.
that's funny. my FH is definately involved. he wants to have a say in everything except for my dress, hair/makeup/flowers....some of the more "feminine" ideals behind weddings. but he is big on where we have the reception, location, food taste...things like that. ultimately he's said it's all MY decision but he just wants to have some input/suggestions. But he has four areas that he is overseeing: transportation, DJ, rings and the rehersal dinner. yea, that's why i'm marrying him (insert silly googly eyed face here).
Mine originally took the stand of "tell me when and where to be" But I kept asking him "Where do you want it to be" He kept saying "I don't care baby. Just tell me where you want it." I finally picked my mom's church (I didn't care where it was and it's a nice church and it's close to the highway and it would mean SO MUCH to see her oldest married in her church) and then a week or so ago mine asked if I would mind having it somewhere else (Wanna talk about annoyed?) But we comprimised. We'll use his preacher and my mom's church...so all is well ^^
i dont know why my FH has so many opinions lol. at first he says he doesn't care but then if i mention colors or something he's like i dont like those colors. very frustrating. even down to fonts on the invitations! i never would've dreamed he would've had an opinion on that. he said he didn't and then i said i either like this one or that one, he's like i dont like those. kinda humerous...he's like a closet wedding consultant and i do all the work. i like that he's involved though, it would probably annoy me even more if he had 0 opinions.
I think FH has the right level of involvement for me. He tends to sulk when he doesn't want to be somewhere and get antsy so fast! I knew I could never get him to sit down and look through thousands of invitation, etc. So we mad a deal. I will make the appts for the things that are important, like reception hall, dj, photographers, and he will be there. And I will narrow the decision down to a few for the invitations and then he will look at them. It just frustrates me anyway when he is there and sulking so it works for both of us!
The only thing DH cared about was that I wear my hair down or half up/half down. We planned our wedding for October in Savannah and I was so worried that it would be rainy or humid out and my hair would look terrible but it ended up being perfect weather so I wore my hair half up/half down and it looked great! Actually, it looked a lot like Belle's in Beauty and the Beast. I worked at Disney World for several years and everyone thought I did it on purpose since my dress kind of looked like hers, too, but it was completely accidental! lol