People who did not send wedding gifts

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TickledPeenk Posts : 175 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: May 25, 2009 6:25 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

We had several guests who CAME to the wedding and did not bring a gift or even a card. And we only had about 70 guests. A few people who RSVP's yes didn't show up and haven't even apologized or anything.
I also have 30 people RSVP for my shower and only 9 showed up and of those 9, 2 didn't bring a card or anything. It definitely hurt my feelings but I will just remember the next time any of them have a wedding/shower/whatever.

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: May 29, 2009 8:43 PM Go to message in response to: TickledPeenk

so i am finishing up my thank you notes and i am using a spreadsheet that had all the guests on it. i found 2 couples that i can't figure out if they sent gifts or not. how do i find out without being rude? while i was opening gifts my sister wrote down who got what...i don't think she forgot anyone but it is a possibility.

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: May 30, 2009 9:33 AM Go to message in response to: DoesntPlayNice

DPN I would suggest sending thank you cards to everyone. For the two who may or may not have given gifts you can thank them for "sharing in your special day". If they did give a gift they might notice you didn't mention it and bring it up to you at which point you can explain what happened and then thank them for the gift. If they didn't bring a gift and you go about it this way you will avoid an extremely awkward question. There really is no great way to say "Did you give me a gift?"

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carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: May 30, 2009 10:59 AM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

I agree with Tanis--I sent thank you cards to everyone who attended or sent a gift. I had wallet sized pics that came with my photo package so everyone got one in their card. Those that didn't send anything or come--well I STILL sent them a pic! I got a few cards after they went out from those that it "slipped their mind" because they couldn't be there and they then sent cards upon seeing our pic!

 

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: May 30, 2009 3:08 PM Go to message in response to: carebearny1999

Thanks yall. I got all the thank yous written out except for those 2 couples so i will go ahead and just write them a thank you for coming card.

It just sucks because I thought I remember saying the name of one of the guests while opening gifts so i thought they gave me something. I have gone over all the new gifts in my mind and i can put a person with each one.

Previously Posted as Military Bride.

CEO of E.N.E.M.A. (Enemy Negotiations & Extraction Military Agency) A special Division of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People)

When POOP can't do it alone....they call for the ENEMA.

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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jun 25, 2009 10:19 AM Go to message in response to: DoesntPlayNice

My DH's aunt, uncle and three cousins (all over 21 and brought their significant others) gave us a card with $100 in it. I heard from DH that one cousin brought the money and the others mooched off him and signed his card! He's the youngest of the bunch and just got out on his own. But they're usually tacky anyways. Don't even get me started on his other family that did not RSVP, send a card, or even an email congratulating us (and DH emails one cousin all the time!).

My DH's best man did not give a gift either, but we knew he could not afford it (we paid for his tux so he could be in the wedding).

I am, however, surprised at my parents' friends that did not even give a card. Most of them have adult (mostly married) children. We also did not get RSVPs from many adults (like 50+) and one brought an adult daughter without telling us. I guess I assumed that people know etiquette, but I give too much credit.

 

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nicolesybrant Posts : 1,359 Registered: 10/4/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 4:40 PM Go to message in response to: Knoxvegas

Hey there, I have a question for you ladies. I am a matron of honor in my friends upcoming wedding. I bought her a $60 shower gift. I am also throwing her a 'Bachlorette Party' at my house complete with dinner and drinks (catered)- I am budgeting around $600. On top of all this my DH and daughter are in the wedding as well so all of our wedding attire (for the three of us) is about $500. As of right now, I am planning on getting her a nice card and this cute picture frame I saw- its about $15 to be honest. Is that enough? Do you guys think she will be offended? I just cant afford to go all out on a gift.... Waht do you all think?

Thank you!

Nicole, wife to Aaron

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 4:52 PM Go to message in response to: nicolesybrant

I think with all your are doing, the picture frame will be great.

 

 

 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: nicolesybrant

Nicole, I dont know about other brides, but when I was a bride, I didnt expect ANY type of gift from my wedding party at all. To me, when someone agrees to be in your wedding party, its understood that comes wiht some responsibility , and normally a good amount of spent money. I appreciated that my MOH had topay for a hotel room, find a babysitter for her little girl, threw me a beautiful shower, and much much more. Technically, she didnt get me a "gift" - but I didnt even notice. Her gift was being my MOH. So yes, the frame is more than enough.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 7:13 PM Go to message in response to: nicolesybrant

Nicole - I agree with Kennys and Kelley - you are more then covered! Have fun!

 

 

 

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jun 27, 2009 5:06 AM Go to message in response to: TickledPeenk

"We had several guests who CAME to the wedding and did not bring a gift
or even a card."

My "friend" who was supposed to originally be one of my bridesmaids but dropped out the day we had to have the dresses ordered by (feel free to search for my rant thread on that one, lol), came to our wedding with her husband, apparently told another guest at her dinner table (as well as anyone who was within earshot of them) that I had been unreasonable when she dropped out (which I really don't think I was, but whatever), ate our catered dinner and our cake and left soon after dancing started. They didn't bring a gift or at least a card. I was a little annoyed considering when they got married 7 months before us, DH and I both went out of our ways to make it to at least part of their wedding (he had to use one of his D-Days when he really didn't want to, I had to request the evening off at work as well as leave early, since it was an hour away), and we bought them this really cool clock they had on their registery - sure it wasn't expensive (like $20-30) but it was something... our wedding right in town for them and they couldn't even get us a card.

I sooooo wanted to write in our thank you to them "Thanks for eating our food, drinking our booze, and coming." but I was semi-nice. I just wrote them a simple 2-line note: "Thank you both for coming to our wedding, it was nice to see you again!"

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IslaBonitaBride Posts : 82 Registered: 2/4/09
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 10:14 AM Go to message in response to: TheNewMrsJ

DH and I are grateful that our friends traveled from all over the US to PR to be at our wedding so I'm trying to get over the fact that some of them didn't even get us a card (4 couples and 4 single friends). I will be sending out postcards that I got from PR thanking everyone for being there for us, but I need suggestions on how long should I wait before sending them. Does 4 weeks after the wedding sound reasonable?

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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 11:56 AM Go to message in response to: IslaBonitaBride

Do them as soon as possible. I'm still finishing mine up and I'm worried that 4 weeks is too long.

 

"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

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joui Posts : 1 Registered: 8/22/11
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Aug 22, 2011 11:23 PM Go to message in response to: TickledPeenk

I just want to thank this forum. It's years since anyone posted on this, but I am thankful to have found it. I just got married two weeks ago. And it was the most beautiful wedding I could have imagined.

I was in total bliss around it until my husband and I finally had the energy to got through the gifts. And, I am in a bit of a funk right now because of how many people did not give a card or even a gift at our wedding.

Out of 123 guests at least 30 + people didn't give a gift or even a card. Even people who could definitely afford it.

I suppose I am shocked my the lack of even a card situation,...do people just not get it?

Part of me wonders if it a west coast thing. I am from California, and my husband from NY. Almost every one of the east coasters brought a gift, and were very generous. Most of the non-gift givers were from the west coast.

I love and adore my cool and funky friends, and they really showed up emotionally and lovingly at the event. But, the whiny side of me needs a place to vent. But sometimes I am so frustrated by the lack of protocol. "Wedding gifts are so passe" kind of attitude. I think a lot of them think that gifts are gratuitous.
But part of me wants gifts, tokens of affection!

So, I am glad for reading all of your posts, it makes me feel less alone. And, I will never, ever go to another wedding and not bring a gift or card...even if it is little. I now know what it is like to be on the other side.

Edited by: joui on Aug 22, 2011 11:24 PM

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Catherine88 Posts : 170 Registered: 7/26/12
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Sep 4, 2012 2:17 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Sometimes we send someone a gift,we hope the gift can make him/her happy.But if you do it many times,they will think it is you,you like to send people gifts,they will be used to these gifts of you.If they never be graceful and send a gift to you,then stop sending them.

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