Okay, I realize that this may come across as whiny, but having said that, I shall explain my situation.
First of all, I'm jewish. I've always been jewish. My mother raised me as a Jew. She converted to Judaism but I have always known her a Jew. My father gave my mother the family diamond from his father. they were married for 17 years, then he left her, and now she is remarried (and now she converted back to Christianity only because her new husband refused to be with her unless she did - whatever, her perrogative).
She kept the diamond since my dad was the one who left her, of course. Now I am in the process of getting engaged. She has offered the diamond to me and my future husband, only on the condition that we meet with a pastor to discuss Jesus in our marriage. I'm not against Jesus, but I'm Jewish so honestly he's probably not going to be a big part of my life anyway. I told my dad this, and he offered me the other matching diamond (yes there's a matching diamond that he has and wears as his earring, this diamond was the cause of many arguments between my parents, my mom felt that him wearring a diamond equal to the one on her finger was disrespectful, and that he should adorn her with things that are better than what he has for himself. My father was always a bit self-absorbed and there were other incidents like this one so I see where she was coming from.).
My mother has said that if I don't take her diamond (on her terms) that she will pawn it. Now, I know this is where it may start to sound like I'm a big brat, but try to hear me out. Here's the way I see it (and I have had some agreement on this so far, but need a larger group's denial or confirmation) She is going to pawn it if I don't do this her way. that is a fmaily diamond, and it belongs in the family from which it came. Now, not to be harsh, but she isn't really a part of my dad's side of the family anymore, nor is my dad part of her side. So that diamond should then go to me since I am still a part of that family. It should definitely not be pawned.
So what do we do? Do we go see her pastor and endure his pushing, or do I take the diamond from my dad and use that one for my engagement ring? That seems like the easy answer, but it kills me that if I don't take it she would actually pawn that diamond after it has been in our family for generations. And I'm afraid now that I'll resent her for not being more supportive, no matter which diamond i get or if i don't have one at all. I have this feeling or thought in the back of my head just telling me that any thing I look at on my hand now will just remind me what a pain it was to get, instead of reminding me of the endless love my H2B share. So, do we just get something smaller and maybe simpler for now? Can we just do wedding bands? I'm not sure what to do, I just have so many people and things to consider and weird circumstances too. Anyway, I'll just see what you ladies think. thanks for the input! :)
-Jessica
"Our brighest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks."
