Telling your family

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Pamela Posts : 30 Registered: 10/2/06
Telling your family
Posted: Oct 4, 2006 10:11 AM

I recently got engaged - 'verbally' as my man and I are pursuing our post-secondary educations so naturally have next to no budget for this sort of thing! I've already been buzzing around, simply glowing about the day which is a combination of my interest and my age i'm sure. I've been asking my mother a lot lately about her weddings simply for my own knowledge so I'm sure she's going to figure out (she's clever that way haha)

 

What I'd like to know is when and how you decided to tell your family. Being 21 years old - these days seems young to be getting engaged however the wedding won't be taking place for another three years. We both figure we should probably wait a year or two to announce it (if they haven't figured it out) as it might be upsetting?

 

I read on a wedding site yesterday in one of their 'planners' that you can plan for however long you want but you should only tell people of your engagement the year before. I don't know what thats about because most sites say: tell everyone you know! If I told my parents now I'm almost certain they would say I was being silly and should put all my focus on finishing my bachelor.

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Guest
Re: Telling your family
Posted: Oct 5, 2006 9:45 AM Go to message in response to: Pamela

Congratulations on your engagement....that is very exciting. I can tell you right now that you will get a lot of "are your parents paying for your school, do you support yourself, who will pay for the wedding" from the majority of the ladies on this board. I guess you do have to take that into consideration as many girls get "cut off" from the parents when they become engaged. I personally do not think that 21 is too young to get engaged and as long as you plan on waiting until you at least get your bachelor degree, then you aren't crossing any lines. I think telling them would be better than them just figuring it out on their own. I am not sure where the "don't tell anyone until a year before the wedding" came from as many people have extremely long engagements...there's nothing wrong with a long engagement. I think it shows that you are not rushing things and you two are making sure things are just right. I would evaluate the circumstances, such as money and how understanding your parents are, and talk to FH and decide when to tell both of your parents. I think a nice dinner talk would be the best way to break the news to them so that they are not left wondering what is going on, you can then be open about starting to get ideas for your wedding and not have to hide anything. Be sure they understand that your education is your first priority and your wedding 3 years away will not affect your education. Good luck and keep us updated.

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Pamela Posts : 30 Registered: 10/2/06
Re: Telling your family
Posted: Oct 5, 2006 3:51 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thank you! This was sort of the route I was thinking a nice dinner maybe Christmas if we have a quite family dinner or what-have-you. I've only told a few close friends and they have all been really supportive and excited for me. I am very responsible and know my priorities, pretty good head on both our shoulders so I'm sure my parents would respect our decision.

 

My parents paid for my post-secondary education as a gift (same as my older sister) anything further is left up to us. I hate that they are already paying for so much but soon enough that will change and I will finally be able to take control of my own life. I do not expect them to be doing all the paying for my wedding if anything I would just like them to be there with me and my fiance and I will worry about the budget.

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serendipity3033 Posts : 363 Registered: 5/11/06
Re: Telling your family
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 2:45 AM Go to message in response to: Pamela

Man, I cant keep a secret worth a damn... I just blurted it out in the middle of a completely irrelevant conversation with my mom!  I said "We just ordered my engagement ring!"  ...pregnant pause...  lol.

 

We were SUPPOSED to order the ring, then bring it to Hawaii in Dec. for the whole one knee bit, but I have no self control thats all I can say for myself.  The UPS man better hand me the package, and take his hand away real fast...lololololol 

 

I am going to wait until the "real" proposal in Dec. before I send out announcements or anything.  My suggestion to you is to wait until A) a point in time when you DONT think your parents would freak (within reason) or B) when you are ready to start making serious plans, like ordering rings or booking photographers

 

Good luck honey!! 

 


 

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