I think I want to call it off...major VENT!

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mrslilysolovely Posts : 2,130 Registered: 7/24/06
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 10, 2006 5:03 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

As far as I know there was no abuse, as we know it anyway. I am not denying the possibility, as there is no way I could know. I do know that my great-grandfather felt that bringing home the money was enough expression of his love and did not make particular efforts to be what we would describe as " a loving father". I do know it was a hard existance for her, raising sugar cain and peanuts was the family business. I guess I am hard on her cause I see my dad's mom raised and supported 8 kids by herself, and came from a harsh life too. Who can know - I'm sure it wasn't easy

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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 11, 2006 9:34 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree. If you want to do what's best for your children and yourself, you should get out. If he's treating you like this before the wedding, just imagine how it will be after.  You have a responsibility to yourself to get out... and to be happy!
jules

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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 11, 2006 1:19 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree with what everyone is saying. Think about your kids. Do you want to subject them to seeing their mother treated this way? It is probably the hardest thing that you wil ever do, but I guarantee that you will not regret it later. Maybe "someone" is trying to tell you that your FH is not the right one. It is harder when you are in the situation, but you should get out before it is too late.

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atepharm420 Posts : 19 Registered: 5/27/06
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 11, 2006 2:10 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

All the flags are there, its up to you to see them or ignore them.  You know alot before getting married, these issues won't change after the ceremony.

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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 11, 2006 3:53 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Honey walk dont run! You are worth more than a six pack of beer or dozen roses. I am speaking from experience I cant even stand roses now. I think you have made your decision you just need to decide when your going to do it. Just remember do whats right for you and your children.

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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 12, 2006 2:52 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I have to be completely honest with you. If he is treating you like this now...it's only going to get worse. He sounds like an abuser. No matter what it is even if it's not physical..mental abuse can be even worse. There is never an excuse for abuse. Listen to your heart. If it's putting a red light up then maybe you should listen to it and put a stop to this. You deserve better. I pray all works out for you.

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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 12, 2006 3:48 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hello my dear:

 You deserve better then what you are getting! Frown If you are getting red flags of this magnitude then 9/10 x's what you see is what you get!

Chances are once you get married you have made a commitment to accept him as he is, & there's a strong possibilty that things will not change- but get worse.

Do not be afraid to take a step back & say "let's take some more time before getting married". If you marry him, he is going to TOTALLY TEAR DOWN YOUR SELF ESTEEM & you will begin to believe the lies that he is telling you about yourself!

Get out, Get out, Get out, until he begins to stop tearing you down and giving you the love & respect that you DESERVE!

Do not settle for anything other than the best. If it does not work out with this man, (who obviously has some promblems of his own) It's ok, all is not lost- You WILL find someone who will love you unconditionally & support you, as well as respect you.

Follow your heart, as well as your instincts. If you are considering calling off the wedding/engagement, then do so.

Marriage is honorable & a blessing from God. You do not want to regret it later on down the line. Wink

 

 

 

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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 13, 2006 11:49 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

This guy is abusive, and his behavior is not going to get better.  He told you so himself.  He sounds a lot like my dad, who treated my mom, my brother, and me like crap.  I wish my mom would have divorced him a long time before she did.  You're not doing your kids any favors by being with this man.  My dad's verbal/emotional abuse took a long time to heal from, and I still struggle with some issues from it.  I'm 32.  I am married to a wonderful man who would never do anything to deliberately hurt my feelings, but I wasted a lot of time on guys who were really bad for me.  Be good to yourself, and be good to your kids.  It's better to be alone than with someone who doesn't treat you right.


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Guest
Re: I think I want to call it off...major VENT!
Posted: Oct 15, 2006 12:51 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Please listen to the girls in this forum!  Your FH is an abuser and not ready for marriage.  I am sure you want your wedding day to be filled with excitement and joy; not doubts and fear.  If you won't do it for yourself please think of your kids.  It is better for them to see you stand up for yourself then to roll over and take it.  You never know what is waiting just around the corner.  I met my FH only a few weeks after a realtionship ended.  Flowers are great, but it's the little things that matter. Things you can't put a price on like love, trust, respect, and friendhip.  If he won't discuss finances with you then he doesn't trust you and if he berates you and makes you feel bad then he doesn't respect you.  Don't settle for less because you deserve so much more.  God has a great plan for you and this guy isn't it.  God bless!  I hope you find your way.

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