engagment ring

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H4M Posts : 49 Registered: 3/30/06
engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 1:31 AM

I wasn't sure if this was the place to post this but seeing that it does relate to my friends and family... well anyway here it is.

For our first Christmas together my FH gave me a beautiful diamond ring. Not a solitare but a V shaped yellow gold ring with a line of small inset diamonds. It is a beautiful ring and he gave to me then as a promise to always be my best friend, to always offer his love and support. Ever since then I have worn it on my ring hand.

Anyway he proposed to me in Tonga last year when we were on vacation - a total suprise and totally perfect! He didn't buy a ring because he was worried that if our luggage or the ring was lost or stolen he would lose it. So when he proposed he took my promise ring off my right hand and put it on my left. He then said that we would pick an engagement ring together when we got home.

Fast forward to now. We looked at rings when we got back but I could never make up my mind. I felt that because the ring I was wearing was the one that FH proposed with that it was special and significant and I didn't want to replace it. I told FH this and he was a little dissapointed (he thought I should have a 'proper'solitare ring) but over time he has agreed with me - this ring holds memories.

However, lately all my friends and most of my family have been asking we am I going to get my new ring. People who only recently found out about our engagment wanted to know why I didn't have an engagment ring. One girl (when I showed her the ring after telling her this story) said "is that it?"

I feel really upset that people are placing so much importance on a ring. I have the one I want and it holds special meaning to me. But lately FH has been pushing for me to pick another ring (he feels that me not having one reflects badly on him - one of his friends called him tight!!!)

What should I do?? Should I get a ring to keep people happy or let their comments slide and keep my special ring.

Sorry for being so long (i didn't realize I had so much to say LOL!!)

Thanx

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December2007Bride Posts : 169 Registered: 8/23/06
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 2:25 AM Go to message in response to: H4M

I don't know why people place so much importance on a ring. It's ridiculous. When my FH first proposed, he didn't have a ring yet, and that didn't make our committment any less real. I say, keep the ring that has meaning to you. If you feel like you should get another ring, would the V shape of the first ring accomodate a solitaire? If so, get a smaller solitaire, and wear it with your special ring, that way you don't have to give it up. But I think if the first ring is the one you want, then don't let other people make you feel bad about it. It has special meaning to you and your FH, and that's all that matters! A ring or lack thereof does not dictate your feelings or committment.

 

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 2:31 AM Go to message in response to: H4M

Well, I'm dealing with the same situation, sort of. I've been wearing my birthstone on my left hand, and it looks like an engagement ring. I'm very happy and satisfied with it but my FH looked insulted when I told him that he didn't need to get me another ring. I really think it's a pride thing and it makes it official for them. It's really not about us in that department, it's a symbol of their love to us. I say cut him some slack and let him go and buy whatever he wants for you. Let him have that glory!
D.S......KissSoon to be Mrs. Stovall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 2:34 AM Go to message in response to: H4M

It does seem silly if that is the ring you like.  Perhaps you could get a bigger stone or something?  Otherwise, just say "This ring is special and we decided to keep it."

Megan

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 7:32 AM Go to message in response to: H4M

I know what you mean... most people don't think I have an engagement ring either, because its not a diamond. But if I waited until FH could afford a diamond I wouldn't be getting engaged for a while.. My ring cost 150 and I love it. Its a sapphire heart, neither me nor my fiance really care what other people think. I say keep the ring that holds all your memories and make it clear to materalistic people that YOUR happy with the ring you have... Really that is all that matters.


Kim

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nestyn08 Posts : 156 Registered: 7/11/06
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 9:37 AM Go to message in response to: H4M

hi H4M,

Congrats on your engagement..I have to say that you should worried less about other people's opinion..If this is what you want go for it...I have a very simple ring, my FH couldn't afford a very fancy one when we got engaged and i feel very happy w/the one I have..The other day a "friend" told that this ring is very simple and asked me if the diamond was real, this i don't know and I don't think so..but I don't care, what really matters is that I'm engaged and the ring doesn't prove my love or his love to me...This is just a simbol and I wouldn't change mine either b/c this is the one he gave that day and I know that he gave the best he could and that's what really matters..I say keep it  and ignore the comments from other people..talk to your FH and explained him that you really like the one you have and that later you can change it for the wedding ring, he'll understand...let him know that you don't care anybody's opinion and move on...Good Luck and remember that always your going to find pp that think differently from you and that doesn't mean you have to do what they like, you don't have to make anybody happy but yourself w/your desicions...this is about you and your FH...

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 9:45 AM Go to message in response to: nestyn08

if this ring has so much meaning, but to your FH getting you an egagement ring has a lot of meaning... could you use the current ring as your wedding band?  you could find an engagement ring to match and then you could put the V-band back on your right hand until the wedding.

 

it's all really up to you, I've noticed a lot lately that many women don't even wear their e-ring after they're married.  in a few months people probably won't even be questioning you and FH about this because it's the marriage that's important not the jewelry and you're the one who will be wearing the rings the rest of your life.

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December2007Bride Posts : 169 Registered: 8/23/06
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 9:48 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

JJKsBride, I love sapphire! In fact, before I decided to wear my mother's diamond solitaire, I had told my FH that I wanted a pink sapphire engagement ring. I personally believe that an engagement ring should reflect the wearer's personality. Diamonds are so expected and traditional, and there's nothing wrong with that (I have one myself, and I love all that it stands for *L*), but other stones just show so much personality.

 

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 9:58 AM Go to message in response to: H4M

When people ask, just tell them that the ring you have is the one you wanted...nothing more, nothing less.  Don't worry about what they think, it's not their ring, and it's not suppose to be their choice...don't let it bother you.

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:00 AM Go to message in response to: December2007Bride

My FH and I went throught a similar thing when we were engaged 2yrs. ago. He proposed to me in Missouri on vacation and when he did, he used my mom's ring that my dad proposed to her with. I always said i wanted to use it because it had so much sentimental value to ime. It wasn't the biggest diamond in the world and people commented about that. It didn't bother me any because I knew the meaning behind it and didn't really care what anyone else thought. FH started feeling as if he wanted to get me something that was really from him and he wouldn't let me say no. So we compromised and he bought me a gorgeous wrap to go with the diamond! It's absolutely beautiful and now I have both!! I get compliments on it all of the time and I couldn't be happier with the entire ring. Maybe if you look around, like a pp suggested, you could find something that both of you like to go with it. Goodluck!

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 10:24 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I like Mrs.howardtobe's suggestion.

Otherwise, don't change a thing and people will have to 'get over it' LOL. 

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Guest
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 11:53 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Here's what you have to ask yourself:
Do you like the ring?  And you said yes. 
Do you really want another? Basically your answer was no.

So who cares what other people think.  Your promise ring is your engagment ring.  It doesn't have to have a diamond.  As long as you and him are happy, that's all that matters.  And trust me, his friends would be lucky to have a girl that doesn't want a diamond. 


Michele and Kyle

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: H4M

'What should I do?? Should I get a ring to keep people happy or let their comments slide and keep my special ring.'

You are an adult. Why does it really matter what other people think about your ring? You're job is not to make other people happy. If you love the ring and it has special meaning to you then keep it, enjoy it and let their comments slide.

My husband and I could not afford a lot back when we were married. We purchased what we liked and what we could afford. I still to this day love my rings and their meaning. I would not replace them for anything!

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Karibear Posts : 87 Registered: 7/23/06
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 1:38 PM Go to message in response to: lori83

I agree that if the ring is special to you, then who cares what the others think.  You shouldn't have to explain yourself, when you are the one wearing it.  They need to stop being so rude and get over it.  Just tell them that you wouldn't have it any other way.  As for your FH, if he really wants to get you something, do what some of the others have suggested and find a wrap or something similar that will enhance the ring you already have.

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RoBelle Posts : 1,236 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: engagment ring
Posted: Sep 13, 2006 2:06 PM Go to message in response to: Karibear

DITTO to what everyone is saying.  Your an adult, you need not live you life pleasing other's.  The ring is important to you and have special meaning so who cares what other people think.  YOU know deep down in your heart that the ring is VERY important to you.   Follow your heart!  Keep your ring.   




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