It's going to get sticky!!!!

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KateS Posts : 208 Registered: 7/14/06
It's going to get sticky!!!!
Posted: Sep 6, 2006 5:34 PM

In a couple weeks I will be "officially" (ring on my finger) engaged.  Most people don't know it's coming yet, just family.  I am trying to prepare myself for the people who will want to know if they are invited or want to know who is on the guest list.  We are having a really small wedding (only about 50 people) and I am afraid some people will get their feelings hurt.  Except for family we are inviting only our closest friends, which doesn't include my boss (is that suicide?), or really any of my co-workers.  It does, however, include an ex-coworker who is a good friend of mine and also good friends with one of my current co-workers.  I know everyone deals with the "B" list - what is a good response?

Re: It's going to get sticky!!!!
Posted: Sep 6, 2006 5:43 PM Go to message in response to: KateS

Hi Kate!  Congrats on your pending engagement :) 


I am getting married in a week, and I chose not to invite many people from work because I didn't know where to draw the line and we too are having a small wedding.  I did invite the two women that I carpool with b/c I consider them more than co-workers, they are true friends.  I did not invite my boss either!  I have other co-workers who are really supportive and interested in hearing about my planning, but no one has ever explicitly asked me if they are invited!  I think you should just allow yourself to enjoy your new engagement and quietly work out a guestlist with your FH and family.  If a co-worker does ask about the guestlist I would just be completely is a small wedding and the guestlist is not finalized yet but it is going to only be family and very close friends.  People will understand this in my experience.  Then if you decide to invite them as part of the B list they will be suprised and excited!


Good luck to you!


Daisypath Ticker


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: It's going to get sticky!!!!
Posted: Sep 6, 2006 8:44 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

If people are rude enough to invite themselves, the best answer is, as above, "It's a small wedding with just closest family and friends." If you invite your boss, he/she can kind of symbolically represent the company. But not inviting the boss is not suicide, and there's certainly no reason to invite coworkers with whom you do not socialize outside of work (the ones you are inviting are people who are friends). The one thing I do advise is to keep wedding planning talk to an absolute minimum at work--just keep your personal life separate from your professional life.

myra at



newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: It's going to get sticky!!!!
Posted: Sep 7, 2006 12:15 PM Go to message in response to: KateS

I am having a small wedding, too, just 66 people total.  I just tell anyone who asks about being invited- or people who assume they are invited- that it is just a family wedding.  I don't really feel like that is lying as some friends really are more like family.  A couple of people got pretty upset so just prepare yourself for that.  One of them might not be speaking to me anymore and I have not been invited to her wedding.   To me, that is not a true friend.


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