I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 30, 2006 1:11 PM

OK, I admit I brought this on myself.  When we got engaged FH had just bought a house and could not afford the $3000- $5000 ring and I would have to wait for it.  One day we were just browsing in a jewelry store and I found a really beautiful ring for just $700!  It was one of those three stone rings only it wasn't exactly three diamonds, each of the three circles is composed of teeny tiny diamonds in a circle.  Anyway, I loved it at the time.  but now that I am trying to pick out a wedding band I can't find one that looks remotely good with it.  I went to Shane Jewelers yesterday and tried on the bands I love with the little, almost pave diamonds and they looked TERRIBLE.  I bought my e-ring on impulse and now I see that the quality of diamond is realllly bad and any other diamond near it makes it look even worse.  I now plan to just wear my mom's old plain wedding band.

I know, I probably sound like the biggest brat.  I have been sick for almost a year and haven't been working but when we bought the ring (in February) it looked like I was about to get better and would be working soon so we said we would get the cheaper ring and use what we would have spent on a bigger ring towards a better honeymoon.  Now that I haven't been working at all we can't afford to take hardly any kind of nice honeymoon and if we go somewhere... I don't know, we haven't figured it out yet.

I guess I'm just more upset about having been sick for so long and STILL being sick (although I seem to be getting better) and I am taking it out on my ring and about my honeymoon.  I know my wedding day will be wonderful but I am so sad about having missed my Bachelorette party we had planned (because I was sick), not sure if I will have a shower (we are hoping but we won't know until kind of the last minute) and now I don't have the e-ring I want or the honeymoon we had dreamed of.  I know, this is just a vent but if anyone has any advice or some kind of pep talk I wouldn't mind hearing it.  :)  I still like my ring but not as an e-ring, just as a right-hand ring...

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 30, 2006 1:31 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

I think you answered your question...Wear it on your right hand. I know plenty of women who don't even wear their engagment ring after they get married.

I love my engagment ring but I'm gonna put  it in the safety deposit box after the wedding. I will be wearing my wedding band alone.  I can't wear my e-ring on my right hand (broke my fingers when I was younger so ring size is too different).

 

For your 5 year anniversary go on a nice trip and for your 10 get a nice anniversary ring. Then for your 15 a nicer trip and for 20th a bigger ring and so on....Wink


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nestyn08 Posts : 156 Registered: 7/11/06
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 30, 2006 1:36 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

hey newsjunkie,

I'm sorry to hear that you don't like your ring now...but I don't see it as a big deal , I think the important thing is that you married your FH and have a wonderful marriage.. I have a very simple ring, I've seen better, but i know my fiance couldn't afford more at that time.. We're planning on having a better one for the wedding but I don't mind if we can't have at that time either; for me that's not important...if you can afford it good for you but if you don't, just don't get too sad over it...don't get me wrong I would love a beuatiful ring on my right hand but for me it's not as important as the marriage..I had people telling me " is nice that you got engaged but your ring is not so beautiful", but guess what I don't mind what other people think..This ring is just a formlity to make our engagement public, I knew a long time ago that we were going to get married so a ring doesn't change our relationship...as for the honeymoon if you can't go for a week try a couple of days that you really would enjoy and look for the best deal you can have and have the rest of your week ( if you're taking a week, try to spend a very romantic time w/your DH at that time at home and get the best out of it)..Not everybody can afford an expensive ring or honymoon but that doesn't set the boundaries for a happy mariage, so look for the real important things in life and try to make the best out of everything, I told my Fh that I would like to travel for our honeymoon but if we can't afford it by then I would happy spend a weekend in a not so fancy hotel in our hometown where we're getting married ( Dominican republic), the mportant thing is that I'm getting married w/my best friend and I would love to spend the rest of my life w/him..Good luck and sorry is I was too long, I just know how you feel....and I hope that everything turn out great..By the way you spend a year sick...I hope is not something serious and get well..Best Wishes

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 30, 2006 2:19 PM Go to message in response to: nestyn08

that does stink. on a brighter note, i am one of those brides who wears her ering on her right hand. mine was such a weird swriyl shape that if id gotten a matching ring it would have had to have been a puzzel ring, and sometimes, especially when i travel, i would prefer not to wear my e ring. so the puzzel didnt do it for me.

 

 

 

i got the band of my dreams and it doesnt look ANYTHING like my e ring, nor does it match. but i still love the look and like wearing rings on both hands. cheer up. who knows what kind of beautiful anniversary ring you'll receive a few years from now!!!

 

 

oh, and as a PS. easier said than done, dont let the $$$ thing get to you. DH and i have been dealing with this recently. his job is not as good as last year and he got ripped off by a few very close people (about $60,000 worth!!!) even though the home i dreamed of may be a bit farther off then hoped for, it really helps to remind myself of my vows and say them out loud. it is amazing how many couples split up because of money! too much or too little and  they dont concentrate on the love. but that sickness/ health, richer/poorer, till death is pretty powerful stuffSmile if ever i get depressed about money, i think of saying those promises to my DH in front of GOD and our fams and things don't seem so bad. hope this helps a little. best wishes.

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 1:45 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

I'm sorry, but this has to be said. I'm fed up with your constant posts about how sick you are. Do you think you are the only person in the world who has to deal with a health issue? All you do is post over and over about how sick you are and how you're feeling sorry for yourself and expecting us to feel sorry for you also. You need to visit WebMD or something. This is not a health support site! Stop whining already..please! I'm sure your poor attitude is not helping your health issues at all. Any doctor will tell you a postive attitude can really help.

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 9:03 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I would ugrade your e-ring when you have the money. Wear the ring for now and switch it to a RHR later on. Wear your mother's band so that you don't spend money on a w-band when you don't know what you will upgrade to. Many, many women upgrade their e-rings (just not usually this early) as they become more financially secure. Your other option is to get yourself a gorgous eternity band as a w-band and simply wear only it once you get married. Spend the money you would spend on an upgraded e-ring on a great band. And please educate yourself before plunking down any more money for diamonds. Check out http://www.pricescope.com/

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futureMrsD Posts : 155 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 11:59 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Maybe you could have the e-ring made into another piece of jewelry?  A simple necklace, maybe?  I'm not going to wear my e-ring with my wedding band either (couldn't find ANY bands that went with the e-ring, which FH picked out himself!) so I'm just going to wear the e-ring on my right hand.  Sounds like you should just wear the e-ring separately from the band, whether that's by wearing it on the other hand, or making it into something else... you'll still know it's a sentimental piece of jewelry for you!

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tanalynn Posts : 491 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 4:33 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Katie that is kind of mean and uncalled for. If she wants to feel sorry for herself let her, it is none of your business, just don't read her posts. I would be highly upset if I had to have a hysterectomy(SP?) before I got to have a child. If you don't want to be supportive to the be supportive to the OP, then don't reply. She has been here alot longer than you and if she is going through bad times than all we can do is try and support her. This is a board to support and help other brides, whether wedding related or not. I think you need to take your own advice on the postive attitude thing.

Tana & Mark

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tanalynn Posts : 491 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 4:35 PM Go to message in response to: tanalynn

oh, newjunkie I am sorry for you as I am going through this about my dress right now. I hope you feel better and things get better or you and FH.

Tana & Mark

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 6:33 PM Go to message in response to: tanalynn

Newsjunkie - I agree; wear the e-ring on your other hand so you and your FH can get the ring set you want. At some point you could ALWAYS "upgrade" your e-ring with an anniversary ring (a "true" 3-stone) down the road. Hell, I even told my husband I'd rather get the cheaper ring now and go for a more expensive anniversary band after we'd EARNED it (and logged a few good solid yrs of marriage). He, however, was sold on a gorgeous 3-stone and was lucky enough to have the funds at the time.

PS - To the heckler up there: this young woman has vented over some of her medical issues, yes, but it's a public forum. Fact remains that she has some issues, they DO interfere with her day-to-day and for those who are unfamiliar it's simply something that has to briefly be mentioned for explanatory purposes only. If it bothers YOU so much, hit that little Back button and read something else.

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

KatieBlaine, quit being a bitch and get off these boards.  My health problems have been devastating.  I have been in horrible pain for 2 and 1/2 years and have been essentially bedridden for the past year during a time that should have been the happiest of my life.  I will definitely have to get a hysterectomy sometime within the next year or two so I will probably never be able to have a baby.  I have regular wedding concerns and wedding concerns that are directly complicated by my illness.  Shut the hell up and don't read my posts if you don't want to hear about them.  I need support right now and this is the only place where I can be 100% open about my feelings without hurting the feelings of my FH or anyone else in my family.  So shut up, that comment hurt me a lot.

*

Thank you to the other posts for your support.  Glad to know there are more nice people on this board than there are total jerks.  As for my e-ring, I decided to go with a plain band for now.  I will use my mom's (she just upgraded) and in the next few years I will get the ring I really want and that will be when I switch my current ring to my right hand.  I will stay out of jewelry stores until then, though... it is too tempting!

 

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Aug 31, 2006 9:28 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

newsjunkie:

I don't know what health issues you are going thru (I must have missed some posts), but I want to extend my sympathy.  Your situation can not be an easy one and you are in my prayers.

As for the e-ring, I agree with everyone else, just wear on your right hand and when the two of you can afford something better, upgrade.

As for your mom's wedding band-the good thing is you have the "something old and something borrowed"


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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Sep 1, 2006 8:31 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

I don't know...I'm kinda up in the air about this.

I see your point, but then I also couldn't imagine not liking my ring.  It's not about the money or quality of diamonds...it's about the purpose of the ring.  When you say "cheaper ring" it kinda sounds like it's a bad thing--even though your FH used this ring to confess his undying love for you.

And again, sorry if I offend anyone, but who cares if you don't have the money?  Don't you love each other?  I mean, honestly, isn't that what a wedding's about?  Two people loving each other?  Not jewelry, parties, or vacations.  FH and I could get married in a cardboard box, I honestly don't care as long as we have each other.

 


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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Sep 1, 2006 12:27 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

SweetxGrace, I was the one who picked out the ring, not my FH.  My problem with it is mainly that it doesn't go with any wedding band that I like except my mom's plain band and, yes, that is a nice sentimental wedding band.  I would only switch my ering to my right hand once I got the new ring (in a few years).  I am mainly just sad about STILL being sick (jsq- I have adenomyosis which is like endometriosis only just inside the uterus.  It can only be 100% diagnosed by a hysterectomy... which is also the only cure.  It causes terrible pain that can be suppressed for a while- I am on treatment now- but not forever).  I have seen all my friends get married and had a wonderful time with them at their showers, bachelorettes, wedding, and then seen them go off on a wonderful honeymoon.  I love my FH more than I can say but I just hate that because of MY illness we can't do any of the things we wanted.

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Guest
Re: I kind of hate my e-ring... now what? Kind of just a vent...
Posted: Sep 1, 2006 2:07 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

You shouldn't let your illness get in the way of your love for your FH.  Weddings don't have to be big or elaborate.  I'm sure you can still have a lovely wedding even with all the difficulties going on.  You can still have all of your showers and parties, too.

Don't let the illness take over your life.  Using it as a stepping stone to get to the next step.

 


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