THE WEDDING IS OFF!! The shiteth hath hiteth the fan-eth! I never thought things could possibly get any worse that what had been going on but, THEY DID! From the top? Well, considering that things still hadn't been going that well between us, even through our counseling sessions, things were actually alot worse than what they seemed. These last few months, I KNOW I have not been myself, my friends have asked me DAILY, "what's wrong?" I've fallen into a depressed state and it's starting to get harder to pull myself out. We had actually already broken up and I was in the process of finding a new place to live. Last week, after an emotionally draining and strainuous day of work, I came home to find my apartment turned upside down!! It looked like it had been ransacked!!! The front door was even broken! Living room furniture was everywhere! The dressers in both the bedrooms were broken! My clothing on the floor! Trash EVERYWHERE! I mean you girls can't even imagine! Right away, the feeling that came over me, "We got robbed!" But as I started looking around I noticed that everything was still there. My jewelry was all over the bedroom, but it was still there. I ran to my apt manager's office to see what the hell was going on and that's where the bomb was dropped. She explained to me that there was no robbery. My FH or ex-FH and my roommate had both been ARRESTED! There were K-9s and all. Then on top of that, (I guess cause she didn't notice the "WHAT THE F^&K" sign on my forehead), she then tells me that they had to file a notice for EVICTION!!! Not really giving a SH%T at that moment, I walked out of the office and went back to my apartment to cry. My FH didn't or wasn't able to call me till after 7pm (I had gotten home at 5) only to give me a number to call after 9 so I can speak with someone about his bail bond. I asked where the hell he was and why the apt looked the way it did. I also told him just to teach him a lesson that I should just leave his ass in there too, but I didn't. With the help of 1 of my good friends, we were able to bail both out at around 5 the next morning. We all went back to apt to begin picking it back up. I had to sit back and let myself cry, it was too much to take in. All in a matter of hours! FH and I sat down for a long talk. He cried! I couldn't believe it! In the 9yrs we've known eachother, in the 5yrs that we have been together, I had never ONCE seen him shed a tear. But he was bawling like a baby that night. Telling me that he was sorry over and over and for me not to leave him now, now that he needed me the most. I told him how furious I was and I didn't know how much more of this I could take. I told him that I hated him for putting me through all that I have, (a little harsh, I know.) I told him the wedding was off and I didn't want to hear another word about it. I am SO completely exhausted! I really don't know what else to do now! No more wedding plans, no more FH, no more home! How the hell am I supposed to find a new place in 10days!!!?? Oh, btw, with all the crap that happened, FH also lost his job of 5 years!! Everything has gone to SH%T!!!! I am so depressed. "
((((hugs))) OMG! This is just horrible! Even though you have way too much SH!T to deal with right now with your apartment and a broken engagement, I just want to say that I'm glad you're all right and that only "stuff" was trashed and not you. I know that's not much of a comfort now. I know now it's going to be really hard breaking off the engagement and wedding, but in the long run thisis not a man you want to spend your life with. Even though you're stressed out beyond belief, let your friends help you out now so you can begin rebuilding. It takes an incredibly brave person to get out of a failing relationship, so I admire your courage and strength. Everyone here is pulling for you to get through this. ((((hugs))))
I agree! It sounds like you have some wonderful friends, so use them now! Don't be afraid to ask for help. I am glad that you nor anyone else was hurt! It does take a strong person to get out of a bad relationship and it's best that you find out now, rather than later. Sometimes people can surprise themselves with their own strength.
I am so sorry all this is happening to you!! I can't even imagine how you're still functioning...it must be terribly exhausting!
Lean on your friends...they will help you. As for finding a place to live, I know that's tough. My mom had to get a place on short notice one time and we managed it. A little apartment did just great on short notice and we found it and got her moved in over a weekend. I think it may have been 3 days, max. So it is possible.
I wish there was a way to help you.
I don't know what your FH did and it's none of my business, but just be sure you put a lot of thought into whatever decision before you make it.
I am so sorry... Hugs to you!!
Keep us posted on how you're doing...and let us know if there is anything we can do to help.
Are there ANY friends who might be able tp put you up for a short period of time? You don't go into details of why they searched your apt or are evicting you (no need!), but unless you want whatever your ex-FH was into to follow you on your history, you may need to consult a lawyer so you won't have trouble finding a place to rent in the future. In the meanwhile, you probably need to distance yourself from him as much as possible. If you put down deposits for anything, see about getting them back now.
I'm so sorry you have to go through all this... I wish you TONS of loving support and help!
Oh honey that is so awful! I am so sorry this happened to you. i know anything I say would be cold comfort right now, but I do want to offer my support. I am also concerned for your safety. Are your FH and roomate still staying there? I know getting out quickly will be tough. Is there any way you could put your stuff into storage and stay with a friend or family member for a month or so? I know it's gotta be tough, but you have found the strength to leave, you'll find the strength to get through it and find a new place. I wish you the best. Please keep us posted.
I'm so sorry. What a horrible situation. I hope your friends can help you get your stuff out of the apartment quickly, and hopefully they can help you out with a place to stay and store your stuff until you're able to find a new place to live. It sounds like you've made the right decision to end the relationship. Take some time to heal and be good to yourself.
First off that is terrible and I'm so sorry. But I guess I am still confused. So your FH and his friend ransacked the apartment? Why? Were you guys fighting or something? If my guy EVER did a thing like that there is NO way I would bail his butt out of jail so don't think you were being too harsh!! That is totally ridiculous of him. How childish. You are only bettering yourself by breaking it off and you need to get a lawyer so his record doesn't start to affect you and your life. That is such a sad thing I know. Just know that there are good guys out there and you don't have to stay with one who treats you badly. You will be so thankful someday that you didn't marry this man.
First off, Thank you Ladies for all the kind words of support, it is very much needed. It's been really tough to get out of bed in the mornings but I still manage to make it to work everyday. It's tough acting like nothing is bothering me after all that's happened. To answer your questions, I don't have ANY family up here so I can't stay with any of them. The few friends I do have are all married w/ children, so I really don't want to be a burden for any of them. I have still been staying in the apt, ALONE. I've been packing all my stuff. (I had them leave the next day after the incident.) I've already gotten a few calls back from some apts but they, of course, have denied my app because I am "In the process of eviction." So I've started looking at some houses and figured that might be a bit easier. What do you all think?? Do you think I'll have better luck finding a house that's for rent? I only have until this Friday pretty much, maybe Saturday, and then I have to be out. I figured if worse came to worse, I would go to one of those pay-by-weekly kind of places. Any suggestions girls? All my family lives in Texas and I have already informed them about what is going on. They want me to go back home, but it's not that simple to move back 5 states.
Lucky to answer your question, the police, with K-9's, raided the apt.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry. Is there anyway to get an apartment in the same complex, with your name only on the lease? If you have them removed, maybe it will be easier to secure a new place.
Try private complexes, houses and apartments. When applying for a lease, explain why you are being evcited. Blame it all on the ex and roommate. Luckily you weren't home, or you probably would have been arrested too. Chin up, things will work out.
Better yet, bring a copy of the police report. I'm not sure if that will clear your innocence or not, but if your name isn't on it that should be pretty obvious you had nothing to do with FH shenanigans. Have you had any luck finding a place yet? Maybe you could try going to some kind of public assistance place (you know, kind of like an unemployment office) and they might have recommendations. Good luck
Oh i wish there is something i can do! If you don't have a place by Friday one of those weekly hotels is a good option. Smart thinking! What about going home though? Im sure you could use the love and support your Family gives. ( i know friends are great, but theres just something about family that can never be beat. What about Starting over in a new town? This all happened for a reason, and its gonna all work out for the best. It just may take some time... feel free to PM me anytime! "
I'm not clear on why you were evicted. If it's because of your roomate's arrest, you should be able to get the lease changed to be in your name only. Or perhaps you could get a letter from your current landlord explaning that it was someone else's actions that caused the eviction and that you have a good payment history.
Also, depending on the laws where you live, you may be able to stop the eviction process by challenging the reason for the eviction. Find a lawyer who specializes in landlord/tenant law. The initial conversation will be free and the lawyer can tell you whether or not you have a case and then you can decide whether or not to hire him/her. There may be public aid lawyers for this sort of thing.
As for finding a place quickly, I think you should look for people who already have a place and are looking for a roomate. Try Craigslist.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 2:08 PMGo to messagein response to: SeasideBride06
I had a dream the same thing happened to be the night i read this. It was the worst feeling in the world. i woke up next to Brandon and told him that I had been so mad at him that i'd left him! I can so imagine and understand what? you went. are going through. give us an update ok? "