I was in a similar boat as Nightflyerswmn. We had talked about it but it hurt like he$$ and I told him to stop. I was 14 at the time but the only virgin among my friends. It was expected that we lose our virginity in 7th or 8th grade. I was lucky and did not get pregnant with him. After the first time I figured what the heck. I felt bad at the time that I had stopped him becuase we had talked about it and I hadn't followed through like I said I would. Reading through my journal many years later I realized what had happened. Sex has had no meaning for me for a long time. Intimicy does however. Wanting that person around for all the little and the big things. I went through my promiscuous stage. I also just slept with people because I thought if I didn't they would force me. Yes trauma can cause serious damage, but it is also on the person to want to work through it, I am not saying that a change is immediate but change can happen.