If You Have to Ask for a Nice Gesture, Is It Worth It?

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BB84 Posts : 388 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: If You Have to Ask for a Nice Gesture, Is It Worth It?
Posted: May 9, 2006 4:51 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I know I'm a little late, but this post struck me as kind of odd.  The reason gestures like cards and calls and sweet stuff like that from my man or anyone else are special is because people want to do them on their own, not because they feel obligated to because I've asked.  Sort of like its the thought that counts, and if they are told there IS no thought.  Over time those close to you pick up what you like and appreciate and start wanting to do them.  I'm just surprised that a card would still have meaning at all if you told someone to get you one....different strokes I guess.  Just my opinion.

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Guest
Re: If You Have to Ask for a Nice Gesture, Is It Worth It?
Posted: May 9, 2006 5:16 PM Go to message in response to: BB84

I think it really depends on your man.  Husbands #1 and 2 were very good with cards and sentiments, but neither one of them were good for much else.  I thought all men knew to do these things until I met FH. 

FH is a wonderful man, but has straight up told me that he doesn't read minds and I have to tell him what I want.  Last year for my birthday, I had to tell him he needed to buy a present--not expensive, but it could not be re-gifted candy (he is diabetic and often re-gifts candy he has received), it needed to be wrapped, and there needed to be a card attached, and the word love needed to appear somewhere in the card.  A little extreme, but he gave me exactly what I asked for.

This year for my birthday, he asked me what I wanted, and I told him I just wanted to go out to dinner, and that's what I got . . . no card, no gift.   But that's what I asked for, so I was happy.  With some men, you really do have to be explicit about your needs and expectations. 

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Guest
Re: If You Have to Ask for a Nice Gesture, Is It Worth It?
Posted: May 10, 2006 1:44 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think so because hopefully, after a few times, he will learn and do it all by himself. 

Megan

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NatSeptBride Posts : 888 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: If You Have to Ask for a Nice Gesture, Is It Worth It?
Posted: May 10, 2006 10:17 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I'm not sure what I'd do in a situation like that.. I really think that if you have to say something, what's the point.. Because you have to think if you didn't say anything would he of took matters into his own hands and gotten the card next time, or was it only because you said something that he did.. I think it would bother me knowing the only reason he did it was because I said something.. I'd want it to be his idea, not mine..  So I think that if you have to ask for a nice gesture it's not worth it, because it's really you're idea, and your gesture, the only difference is you're not paying for it or whatever....  .. 

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