Yes I imagine that article has a lot to discuss. But my original reason for posting was b/c I find it so interesting that in biblical times a betrothed couple would actually live together and nobody thought badly of a betrothed couple having sex before their wedding. It wasn't considered a sin! I find that so interesting. Originally I just posted that in response to the original poster's feelings on sex with her fiance. But I find it so fascinating how over time the world can start interpreting things so differently. My own theory on this is b/c well meaning religious leaders create laws which they endow with "God's will" and while they are well meaning and probably healthy for their society at the time, societies do change. The funny thing is, none of this shakes my faith in being Catholic. I guess seeing all the human falability and intricasies of religion just really intrigues me.
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 14, 2006 1:10 AMGo to messagein response to: RomanticGirl
I def agree with that... } I dont think that I could actually marry someone that I havent lived with or had sex with. I just dont want to go into something not knowing if we'll be able to live together in peace and if he turns me on. (there have been a few guys who I thought turned me on until we had sex! LOL )
Okay, here is my outlook on this. How do you feel in your heart? Do you feel commited to your FH? Do you feel as if you are already one? Then the wedding is just a step to make that public, you are already married in your heart.
Hi September, to go WAY back to your original question seeking advise ... My FH and I decided to stop having sex until our wedding this September (5 months). This has been VERY difficult, but something we both want to do, so we talked realistically about what to expect and how to avoid temptation. In the natural progression of a relationship, as the rest of your relationship grows (commitment, emotional sharing, trust, etc) your physical intimacy grows too to stay in balance. Based on this, we came up with the "base plan", just like when we were in grade school and talked with our friends about if we'd made it to first base yet and so on... So we divided up the next five months into 10 "bases", with the final base being sex. That way, we still get some physical affection now (just as you would in a healthy, growing, dating relationship prior to sex) AND we get to re-discover all those fun pre-sex dating things ... the first night we committed to this, we spent nearly two hours just kissing! Wow!! Now that's romance for ya :) It's still hard not to just fall back into the grind (no pun intented), but with a plan in place, we know there is a definite reward coming every couple weeks... much easier than trying to convince yourself that you have to be completely void of any passion or attraction. It's a silly plan, I know, but I just thought you could use some practical advice if you consider trying again. Best of luck.
We stopped having sex for a reason I won't share and we were able to make it. I think it was 2 months. It was hard, but well worth it!!! I'm considering stopping again for a couple of months before the wedding.