My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.

Online Users: 1,354 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 19
Guest
My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Mar 30, 2006 1:27 AM

Is anyone facing a problem with their future mother-in-law not supporting the engagement? Before my fiancÚ and I were engaged, she and I got along fine. Now she seems to hate me and has even told us that if we get married, it wont last. Please help. I hate that this is happening to me is taking the joy out of planning our wedding.

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Mar 30, 2006 7:38 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FMIL was fine until we got engaged too--turns out getting engaged was too much for her since I was not born Jewish--nevermind that I am converting (for HIM, not her--it's important to my FH and that our children be raised Jewish so that's my motivation). to her, I am going to be "faux" Jewish. You know I spent a lot of time being angry/resentful/etc. about the whole thing--FFIL is NO better, even more snobby if that's possible--and it's pointless. I discovered that in addition to their bias, they will complain and be unhappy with any and everything. You just have to do your best to distance yourself from the negativity and move one, easier said than done, I know. Hang in there!

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Apr 1, 2006 12:36 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

STOP allowing this woman to spill her toxic waste comments on you - stay away from her!! you wouldn't allow anyone else to speak to you or about you that way - why her? good luck and be strong - she can only steal your joy if you ALLOW her to

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Apr 1, 2006 3:02 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree with what the others have said.

I do think when FILs act this way, they're trying to get a reaction.

As unpleasant as it is, you must ignore her. She is not your friend, nor will she ever be your friend.

Keep her at an arms length always.

Remember, it's her loss, not yours.

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 4:30 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

That's a tough situation but perhaps a nice gift would soften her up.  Choose from our many one of a kind, handcrafted Branellis to give her.  Surely, she'll appreciate the initiative you've taken to mend any problems, and she'll love her new jewels!
Visit branellis.com today!

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 5:12 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think there are plenty of us on the board going through the FMIL-From-Hell scenario.  My FMIL doesn't like me and she never did...it's bothered me for quite a well.  At times it has dampened my happiness and therefore upsets my FH, but finally I realized that I just couldn't allow her to affect me so much.  I have since cut off all communication with her (with my FH's ok) and things have been much better.
 

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 5:47 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I'm sorry if she's mistreating you--that's not okay--but you have to understand that Judiasm is matrilineal (passed through the mother)--and more conservative Jewish folks don't accept converts or people whose mothers aren't Jewish as Jewish. 

My husband's mother isn't Jewish--and his dad's mom almost lost it when they married.  It's not just snobbery.  Their kids (my husband and brother in law) aren't Jewish.

I could also see why she'd be upset if she thought you were just converting to her religion "for" her son.   

But, again, she shouldn't be mistreating you. 

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 5:52 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

To the OP: why does she not support your engagement?  Are you both very young?  Do you have children from a previous relationship?  Very different religions?  I think it depends on why there is an objection in order to figure out how to overcome it.

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 6:03 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Guys, this appears to be an old thread that only popped up to the top because a vendor decided to post to it.  I'm not sure the OP is even around anymore.

To the vendor: that was really lame, by the way.

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 6:40 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

OMG--haha.  I saw a few threads and thought "wow, that's old."  While you're at it--buy her a car!  Visit landrover.com.  Sheesh.

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 8:30 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Speaking of which.  Where the he!! is 'report this post'?  mb.com had it.  boards with a few hundred people have it.  Why not here! 

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RomanticGirl Posts : 777 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 9:01 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

vendors don't realize that by doing that, it puts them on my "blacklisted:do not buy" list. and i think most people respond that way. so really, vendor person, you are hurting your business by doing that.

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 28, 2006 4:22 PM Go to message in response to: RomanticGirl

who in their right mind would give a fmil that they can't stand some expensive jewelry??!!

 

Soon 2Be Mrs. Patton

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 29, 2006 12:06 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I am having the same problem only a little worse. My wedding is in 2 weeks july 15th and my fmil does not want my fh marrying me she has gone so far as to tell her other 3 sons horrible things about me that are not true and said that I am saying horrible things that are not true. when we first set the date back in Jan. the first comment she said to mt fh who was talking to her on the phone while sitting right next to me was why are you marring her. I was so upset and hurt. I have never done anything to this woman and she has turned what is supposed to be such a happy time for me the most miserable. Well to make a long story short as of yesterday her and two of her other sons are not coming to my wedding. And all of the food is paid for. I have to redo my seating arrangements and everything. I am so streesed out and hurt by all of this. I almost don't know what to do anymore. Any advise???

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Guest
Re: My future mother-in-law doesnt support the engagement.
Posted: Jun 29, 2006 12:41 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Has she given any indication whatsoever as to what her objection is to her son marrying you?  It would help to know a little more about the situation in order to give advice.

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