ok, i have two somewhat sticky etiquette questions regarding my bridal shower.
My mom has already told me that I'm getting basically what I wanted, a tea party in her backyard in the spring. I know it's not normal for the MOB to have the party at her house, but its central to everyone, and its free. My attendants are going to be helping with the food, invites, etc.
First, two of my attendants are my sisters, and the other two attendants live 4 hours from where the shower will be held. I know that family is not supposed to host the shower, so who's name should be on the invites?
Second, (and the more sticky of the two), about a month ago, I told my FMIL that if she wanted to, she could hold a couples shower in montreal, so that the montreal people wouldn't have to travel into the US just for a shower. However, I just started a new job, and my new work schedule only allows for one shower (I have to work almost every weekend). So, I'd rather have the one my mom is throwing. I breached the subject (not all the way) with her, and she basically replied that I should only have the one in montreal!! What should I do?
As for the invitation that one is easy just type at the bottom of the invitation: Given by Bridesmaids. You don't have to list everyone by name.
As for the Mother-in-law... Who lives in Montreal? Is it your family or his? If it is his family then just explain to her that the other shower is already been planned and you just cannot get off work. This is a new job, there are going to be MANY situations where you will have to "break the news" to your mother in law through out your marriage. Hopefully she will be ok with it, if not just tell her she can have one but it will have to be in the evening after you get off work and it will have to be in NY.
The invites should just say hosted by the bridesmaids or bridal party whichever. But they should be doing the invites.
As for the showers. I don't think you can get upset with your FMIL for wanting you to do her shower. You did say that it was your idea. Why can't you ask for another weekend off? It wouldn't hurt to ask somebody. I think you need to find a way to compromise between the both of the showers. Maybe having one on a Saturday and the other on the Sunday of the same weekend.
Well, you said you have to work 'almost' every weekend. Can you just schedule the other shower on another weekend you have off? Even if it has to be a month or so before the one your mom is hosting? What about during the week? The shower doesn't HAVE to be a weekend, if you can't get it off. It could be a Thursday evening dinner or cocktail party. There have to be some other options for dates.