I got married too fast!!

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I got married too fast!!
Posted: Aug 18, 2005 9:08 AM

Im on here because my husband doesn't let me talk to anyone else. I just need to tell someone how I feel...

So we got married too soon. We only knew eachother two months... and now we've been married for one and a half...
I spend all my time with his family. I live with his sister. I don't have a vehicle because mine was stolen. He's in the navy and when he comes home on weekends, all he wants to do is hang out with his parents. If I dont want to, then he says he can leave me at home and he'll go over there... and stay all day.
At first I didnt mind going over to his parents. I understood that he wanted to spend time with them. But after so long of us not having one day alone I got upset. He said I was trying to keep him from the people that had been there for him. THat I was trying to make him "leave" his family. I just wanted to go out on a date.
Now, when it comes to my family... in the three and half months we have been "together" we have only been to my mom's twice. Ten minutes the first time, then 45 minutes the second. He acts like that is too much... he says he just doesn't like my family.
I am a poet... I own and built my own art site that I love. I shared this with him from the beggining. Now he doesn't want me getting on there because there are guys on there.
I stopped talking to all my friends. He was too jealous and I wanted to avoid controversy.
I hate the city we live in. He loves it so we will live here on the same road his parents live because he feels comfortable.
I don't like having to worry about how I'll buy dinner because our account is -580 dollars... so I'm constantly telling him that he doesn't need things... and he doesn't need to waste gas taking his friends all over town. I don't buy for myself... but yet he never fails to tint his windows, put lights on his undercarriage, buy fog lights, put florescent bulbs in the cab of his truck... buy a case of beer a day almost, buy a new laptop with bill money... leaving me with nothing to eat on, while my maternity clothes are even too small. I've needed new clothes for a month and he still buys everything but that. He told me yesterday that it was none of my business what he does with his money. Its none of my business where he goes during the day. Its none of my business if he wants to drink and drive, with me in the vehicle... says he doesn't need a baby sitter. Gee, I thought I was his wife.
Thats why we got married so soon by the way. Because I'm pregnant. Not his baby. I was with someone before him that didn't work out... But my husband told me that he wanted to get married so he could sign the birth certificate. Well, now he insists I give the baby up for adoption. He threatened to leave me if I kept the baby. I'm keeping him... the baby is a boy... and if he leaves, then so be it. But without a friend, without my family, without anyone to talk to.... I need a baby. I need someone to love me.
He cares more about his friends than he does me. He takes them everywhere they need to go and if I want something, I have to wait till they are done needing him for the day because "they have been there." And when his neighbor gave him zanexs and tried to get him drunk while I was 6 months pregnant, locked out of the house for two hours, worried he flipped on his four-wheeler in the 93 degree heat, walking up and down the road searching for him... when they told him not to worry when the dogs barked- they were only barking at some girl walking up the road... when they told him to wait there for some other 18 year old girl... that he didn't need to worry about me... He thinks I'm wrong for not wanting him to go over there anymore. He says I have to deal with them being in his life and that they didn't do a thing wrong. I should like them. Why? Because they hate me?
I gave up my identity for him. I changed completly and I said that I would never do that. He used to care. Used to.
I guess I'm done for now. Not sure i


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