Hi, my niece got married in a small ceremony distant from where I live. I wasn't invited, which is fine. However, I sent a card at the time of the wedding which was not acknowledged. Also fine (I guess, LOL). But then I sent a gift via FedEx and got notification that the package was undeliverable. FedEx had tried multiple times and left notices about it.
At the last minute before FedEx would have destroyed the package, my niece picked it up from FedEx and emailed to say that she'd gotten it -- no apology or explanation about the delivery problem -- just something like "haven't opened it yet, but thank you!"
That was more than a month ago and I still have not gotten a thank-you note. Should I take this as a hint that the family has some problem with me? Did I offend someone? Or is the email supposed to count as a thank-you note?
There is nothing wrong with you. Young people today don't have the manners they once did. That is largely an issue with how their parents raised them. If parents didn't expect them to write thank you notes as children and expect them to be grateful for things given to them, they don't know any better. So many take for granted that things, including wedding, birthday and other gifts are their "right" and they feel no need to formally respond whether by saying thanks or even acknowledging that they received the gift.
When one of my nieces or nephews does this, they get only a card at future events. I assume that they don't appreciate the time, effort and cost involved to choose and send a gift, so my efforts will be expended on those who do.
Thanks, Syringa, I appreciate your supportive message. I suppose the bride could think that since she used the words "thank you" in her email, she doesn't have to send a formal thank-you note.
I continue to feel that the family has sent me mixed messages about the wedding, but it may be that the bride's parents are embarrassed that I wasn't invited. Some people convey embarrassment in odd ways.