purchasing wedding dress

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christinem Posts : 4 Registered: 4/5/11
purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Apr 5, 2011 3:30 PM

would anyone know of a bridal shop in pa or western nj where i can purchase a wedding dress and acessories for myself without being embarressed being i am transgender. i dont want to be laughed at or anything but its something i want. thank you so much christine

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Apr 5, 2011 7:17 PM Go to message in response to: christinem

Dear Christine,

Here is my suggestion.

You have to make advance appointments with bridal shops, no matter what. Everyone does. Call for the appointment.

While you are on the phone, mention that you are transgender. Then, wait for their reaction. If you feel uncomfortable, then just 86 the appointment.

You: "Hello, I need to make an appt for bridal gown shopping."

Them: "OK, what days are good for you? We have openings Saturday, Monday, Wednesday..."

You: "First, I need to ask you about something. I am transgender and want to buy my bridal gown in a comfortable environment."

Good answer: (cheery voice) "Oh, not a problem at all. We take pride in offering excellent service to all our brides. Is there anything in particular you might need? Private dressing room, perhaps? Just let us know and we will take care of it."

Bad answer: (pause) (measured voice) "Um, gee, sure, we can deal with something weird like that. Oops, I didn't mean to say 'weird'... what I meant was different."

You: "Thank you for your time, but I think I will look elsewhere."

Remember, there are many reasons why a bride might want a bit more privacy. She might be a breast cancer survivor, or sensitive about some extra pounds, or just plain modest.

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christinem Posts : 4 Registered: 4/5/11
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Apr 6, 2011 6:20 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Thank You Aunt. I will call a shop. Naturally iam a bit nervous about the whole thing even if they will know my situation. Id rather just be treated as another customer as you can imagine. i have tried one on before, a cousins which fit ok but i would prefer my own , although there isnt a wedding in my future. Its just something i allways wanted . I hope i wont cause a problem for some clerk if i need help with the dress while in the fitting room. i understand i will have to bring the proper undergarments for the dress to fit right. I know i will feel very feminine and iam a bit afraid to let my self go sort of speak. powder, mascara, lipgloss etc. But i want to look and feel pretty if that makes any scense. Anyway iam 22 and from nj. take care christine

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Apr 6, 2011 7:53 PM Go to message in response to: christinem

Dear Christine,

", although there isnt a wedding in my future. Its just something i allways wanted "

You might run into problems there. If you are not planning on actually purchasing a dress, but just trying them on, they might not give you an appointment. In most bridal shops, they don't let women just come in and try on dresses for fun. They would be overrun with high school girls if they allowed dress shopping without pre-qualifying the shoppers.

During a shopping appointment, they have dedicated sales people to help you, plus various other things like champagne, snacks, etc., for the bride and anyone she might bring along. Brides usually come with their mother or maid of honor. They won't do that for a lookie-loo.

If you want the fun of trying on bridal gowns, then I can suggest an alternative. Filene's in Boston has a "Running of the Brides" at least once a year. They drastically mark down dresses and open their doors to masses of women.

The women rush in and frantically try on dresses, hoping to find The One at a bargain price. Look up Filene's and Running of the Brides on Google. This might be something you would enjoy. I'd like to bet other department stores do something similar.

Furthermore, sincere good luck on finding a groom. There is someone out there for you, I am sure.

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christinem Posts : 4 Registered: 4/5/11
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Apr 7, 2011 3:53 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Hi Aunt, Acutally iam going to buy the dress, not just try it on. I understand a store wouldnt really go for that. I have tried one on a few yrs ago that fit ok, it was my cousins, which she still has but id rather my own. I dont know if id ever get the chance to wear one for real, but the desire is there for the lifestyle not so much a peice of clothing. i know what you mean by loads of teen girls comming in the store. i too went through that stage. the pretty clothes, hairstyles, makeup, etc lol. Only i was a boy, at least outside. Growing up i had a friend(girl) who commented to me she liked , me as a girlfriend. not lesbian but a friend of her own sex. I guess to me i was being natural, to opthers too girlish in my ways. Cant help it, it s who i am. Anyway i got al;lmost a grand saved up, i hope to spend no more than 800 for the dress, veil, bra and slip. i have a pair of white pumps for shoes and the jewerly i will use. take care christine

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Apr 8, 2011 12:58 AM Go to message in response to: christinem

Dear Christine,

I can imagine your life has been difficult, dealing with being a girl born in a boy's body and having to go through a transgender process. I am sympathetic to your situation.

This is an anonymous message board, and people come here to get honest opinions from people they will never meet face to face. I'm going to offer an opinion, one that has nothing to do with your being transgender.

It's downright weird to buy a wedding dress if you have no wedding plans in the foreseeable future. It has no meaning. It's like buying a car when you don't have a drivers license and no place to put the car, nor funds for insurance. It's like buying airplane tickets when you know you won't take the trip.

I would say the same thing to a born-girl woman who was asking about the same thing. In fact, I saw a piece on TV a few years ago about women who plan weddings with NO GROOM in mind. They line up caterers, venues, etc., just to have it all "ready" for some point in time some future guy proposes. I thought, at that time, that was really weird, too. (And, if I were a guy and met such a girl, I would RUN FOR THE HILLS.)

I am the mother of two adult sons. I have often told young parents to "parent the child you have, not the child you want".

I will say to you, in all honesty and in a true spirit of supporting your life to "live the life you have, not the life you want".

Spend your time as a woman doing the things that women do. Learn crafting, scrapbooking, stained glass stuff. Lots of women do that. Hang out at Michaels (the ultimate crafters store). Learn how to sew. Bake tons of cookies and give them to the homeless shelter, the local grade school or church youth organization. Join a woman's book group, volunteer for breast cancer fund-raising. You'll make friends with really nice women, meet some nice men, and have a great time.

It's just so very Miss Havisham to wear a wedding dress when there is no groom around to appreciate it. And Miss Havisham was a very tragic character.

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cindygaga Posts : 2 Registered: 7/8/11
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Jul 8, 2011 5:15 AM Go to message in response to: christinem

In my opinion, buying wedding dresses online is a good choice.
It helps save time. As we all know, wedding is not a simple thing, the bride and bridegroom have too many things to do. For a bride, to discovery her favorite wedding dress is the most important. Although there are many wedding dresses, the bride doesn't have such enough time to see all of them. If the bride can make a online search, she can see hundreds of wedding dresses in less time. More options, less time. What a good choice.
Formal Prom Dress
Wedding Ideas
Cheap Wedding Dress

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Dec 14, 2012 8:11 PM Go to message in response to: christinem

Wedding dresses from famous wedding designers are promoting now.
http://www.okaydress.com/wedding-dress-designers-c-65.html
Mori Lee Wedding Dress Style 1910 is just $429.99.

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bulutional Posts : 3 Registered: 1/14/13
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Jan 14, 2013 1:09 PM Go to message in response to: christinem

I recommend you to buy here http://www.jenniferbridal.com/

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jessie409 Posts : 27 Registered: 3/4/13
Re: purchasing wedding dress
Posted: Mar 6, 2013 9:45 PM Go to message in response to: christinem

I know one good site: JenJenHouse.com. I recently bought one dress from them.

It arrived on time as promised and seriously is amazing! I paid 100.00 for this dress and it looks like I paid 500 for it! So pleased with this purchase!

Also, recently they have an activity on their FB. You could go and have a look.

https://www.facebook.com/events/141111119389779/

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