i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!

Online Users: 1,261 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 9

Promise Posts : 3 Registered: 7/14/09
i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 14, 2009 10:24 PM

My fiance & I are getting married on an island & due to keeping small numbers, not many of our friends are able to come along. Instead, we are wanting to do a "reception" style engagement party with cocktails & a three course meal & would like to invite all of our friends who are unable to make it to the wedding to celebrate with us this way. How would i word this on an invitation without sounding rude?

Reply


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 14, 2009 11:41 PM Go to message in response to: Promise

If you invite people to an "engagement party," they most likely would expect an invitation to the wedding. Are these guests people that you have invited, and have told you that they are unable to accept? If not, this party does not sound like a good idea. It does not sound like you are announcing your engagement at this party; it sounds like people already know and know about particulars of the wedding. So, it's not really an engagement party in the classic sense of the word. My best suggestion would be to hold this party after you return from your destination wedding, in which case it is a delayed wedding reception. People will be clear on gift-giving protocol, you'll be able to show pictures from your wedding, and nobody will be insulted or disappointed about being invited to an engagement party, but not to the wedding.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

Reply

Promise Posts : 3 Registered: 7/14/09
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 14, 2009 11:48 PM Go to message in response to: myra

We are only inviting family to the wedding (we are pretty much eloping overseas), the engagement party would be for friends who know the circumstances but would like to celebrate with us none the less. I have spoken to many of them about it & they would love to come to the engagement party. I just didn't know how to specify it on invitations. I wouldnt call it an "engagement party" as such but its a dinner & drinks for our closest friends who will not be coming to the wedding so that they have a chance to celebrate with us in the same manner.

Reply


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 12:31 AM Go to message in response to: Promise

OK, so basically they are not coming because they are not invited to come. You're "eloping." Is there some reason that you can't hold this party after the ceremony, rather than before? Maybe your friends are totally ok with your plan and thrilled about your idea. But, in my world, it feels a little like a gift-grab. And, frankly, I wouldn't want to give you a wedding gift until you're married. You know, stuff happens and all that. Holding the party afterwards eliminates your problem of how to word your invites:
John and Marry were married in the Bahamas on date
Come and celebrate their marriage
Dinner and dancing at place and date, and so on.

Problem solved.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

Reply

Promise Posts : 3 Registered: 7/14/09
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 12:35 AM Go to message in response to: myra

I completely see your point although we were not going to be asking for any gifts as it is not our wedding. Thank you for your help.

Reply


BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: Promise

Wait. Hold the phone just a second. Did you say it's not your wedding? Who's is it?

 

 

 

 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)

Reply


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 12:46 PM Go to message in response to: BriansAzBride

I think that what the OP meant was that the engagement party is NOT their wedding/wedding day, so therefore, they dont expect gifts.

However, I do agree with Myra on this. OP: what you are doing is really nice. You are essentially eloping privately; but you still want to include friends and family and host a celebration with them. That is really nice of you. What we are telling you though, is that this party would serve everyone better if you held it AFTER your return from getting married. Its a home reception to celebrate. "Douchebag and Fartypants were married!!! A private ceremony was held on x date, and now we want to celebrate with you! Please join us for an elegant dinner on X date.... blah blah blah"

You really shoudlnt do this before the wedding, and you definately shouldnt call it an engagement party. Even if most people know your situation, engagement parties are for people who are going to your wedding.

Really, just out of curiosity, IS there some reason why you dont seem to want to hold this reception after the wedding instead of before? It just makes more sense.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

Reply


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 9:37 PM Go to message in response to: myra

I think it would be best to have it after the wedding, but it's your party and wedding so you should do what you feel is better. I agree w/ Myra about it being gift-grabby, but rule of thumb is if you invite someone to a wedding related party, they should be invited to the wedding. Also, I would be afraid of doing a celebration of the marriage before the marriage because I wouldn't want to jinx anything.

Reply


Gypsami Posts : 8 Registered: 6/19/09
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Jul 16, 2009 11:10 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

I don't see a problem with it being before. I see the point of view everyone is coming from, but if you two really want to do it to celebrate engagement say that it's an engagement celebration, ie "Come and share in our engagement bliss before we steal away." This would invite people to ask questions about the ceremony you are planning and you can simply say that you plan to elope. All of the people who are not invited don't need to know who is, and the people who are can think of it as a nice surprise. There doesn't need to be so much drama with weddings as to what's proper!! Do what makes the two of you happy!

Reply

jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: i need help with engagement invitations ASAP!
Posted: Dec 27, 2012 11:11 PM Go to message in response to: Promise

Wedding dresses from famous wedding designers are promoting now.
http://www.okaydress.com/wedding-dress-designers-c-65.html
Mori Lee Wedding Dress Style 4912 is just $359.99.

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine