feeling hopeless....

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Allornil Posts : 6 Registered: 10/5/07
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 11, 2009 5:08 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

wow reading your post really made me sad. Your fiance loves you for you. That's the best thing ever! You found a person to spend your life with. Don't leave out the photographer. You'll be beautiful!

I recently lost 75 lbs on weight watchers. I've been overweight for about 15 years. I finally had it. I only was able to do this bc I was ready to make a change. I did it for me. My fiance is actually unhappy that I lost all this weight. He says he fell in love with me for what's inside not outside and worries that I'm stressing too much on appearance. He tells me every day how beautiful I am, like yours does.

Don't listen to what people say. You know you're fabulous.

When you look for a dress, a bridal shop can find you something wonderful.

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SoontobeMrsT Posts : 2 Registered: 8/31/09
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 1:57 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Zoe,

My heart goes out to you, because I know how you feel. I'm about 60-80 lbs. overweight and it's something I struggle with everyday. Throw in an event where I'm going to be in the spotlight with lots of pictures, and I'm completely miserable. A wedding is supposed to be a happy time in your life with your family, friends, and other loved ones. I'm so disgusted with my appearance that I haven't taken any pictures of myself since 2006. To say I am dreading my wedding day is an understatement, but I'm trying to make it a positive situation. I'm exercising and trying to eat right, but like you, I also have personal health issues that have affected my weight. It's frustrating to hear from your family members anything but positive remarks--even if they think they are being helpful by being constructive.

For that matter, nastytoe- I find it RUDE to ask if someone is making up an injury as an excuse not to exercise. That's the furthest thing from positive support, which is what she needs. If you don't have anything kind and supportive to say-then you should keep your critical mouth shut. I'm sorry to call you out, but your reply is very rude to me.

Lastly- about shopping for dresses- Maggie Sottero has a gorgeous line that features lace up corsets and amazing looking details with straps and such. My dress is the Capri Royal (it's a ballgown with a pickup skirt). Pick a body part on yourself that you feel comfortable putting in the spotlight...if there isn't one you like, pick a feature about yourself like your hair, eyes, teeth, etc. and play it up so you feel beautiful. No matter what your size, you will always be beautiful if you have an attitude to match (especially on your day!). We all look different than we look to ourselves and it sounds like your fiance is crazy about you, both inside and out. Remember that you will be marrying someone who is wanting to be with you for a lifetime and then some.

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 9:48 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Zoe I honestly don't feel sorry for you at all, there is no need to you are having your own pity party and you are the only guest you seem to need. At the time of my wedding I was 287 pounds. That was a size 24 gown. I was able to find a ton of dresses in all different styles to try on in David's and at a store called GroupUSA. I bought my gown from GroupUSA but I found the perfect gown at David's also. It is difficult to find gowns yes, but not impossible.

People are going to talk about you for whatever reason you have to decide if you are going to let them ruin your life or not. People I knew when I was smaller are always saying how much weight I have gained and I say yes that means I have been blessed to have plenty to eat. Does it bother me what they say no. I know I am over weight it is not news to me. I am happy with who I am. I love me the way I am and no one can take that away from me. If you feel good about you no one can make you feel badly. Don't give them that kind of power.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

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His4life Posts : 117 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 1:03 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Zoe,

It appears as though you have a lot of self-esteem issues. If weight is truly this much of a burden on you then do something about it. I know you said you don't like to work out and you eat a lot of bad things....if this is the case then you are always going to be overweight. I don't think there is anything wrong with being overweight as long as you are happy with yourself and feel beautiful. This does not appear to be the case for you. If you really want to loose weight then you are going to have to discipline yourself and work out and eat better. You dont' even have to do hardcore cardio and weight lifting to change your lifestyle. If you walked 2 miles per day on a treadmill or outside you would see changes. Since you don't like to cook go to Subway and eat a healthier sandwhich.

I am 5'3 and weigh about 120. I am healthy and look healthy. This is not because I am naturally skinny- I have to push myself to go to the gym at least 3-5 times a week and do 1/2 hour of cardio on the elliptical and lift weights. I also have to push myself to make better choices with what I eat. It is not easy and it never will be. Right now you are taking the easy way out by making excuses to why you don't work out and why you eat badly. Just because you don't like to cook is not an excuse to eat greasy and unhealthy food all the time.

Honestly, if you are that unhappy at being overweight then do something about it and find a support group. It is not easy and you are going to have to truly want that lifestyle change for it to happen. Good luck.

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zoe1983 Posts : 115 Registered: 4/8/09
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 2:58 PM Go to message in response to: His4life

Thank you so much to everyone for your help, advice and input. I went back and re-read my posts and i agree it sounds like one big pity party and most of it is. We don't do pity parties in my family so I think i came on here instead. I know pity parties and feeling sorry for myself do absolutely nothing to solve the problem though and really just a waste of time. I'm sorry....I just think i was venting too much!

I think when it comes down to it the problem is that I know exactly what I need to do to lose the weight (in fact I have lost part of it at least twice), I just somehow can't find the motivation inside of myself to do it. I know i hate the way i look and feel...but somehow that isn't enough to motivate me. And even if i was able to become happy with the way i look...i know i am not healthy and that bothers me too.

Thanks everyone for the help but honestly I have known the truth all along...no one can change my weight but me. I just have to suck it up and start trying....

Edited by: zoe1983 on Aug 31, 2009 2:59 PM

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His4life Posts : 117 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 3:31 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Zoe you would probably benefit by finding a support system either at a local gym or online. It's easier to be motivated if you have a work out buddy and others to talk to who are going through the same thing. I work out with my FH.... we motivate eachother and keep eachother on track. I'm not sure how I would do if I didn't have a partner.

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 4:06 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

If you are truly interested in losing weight, why not come over to the OBI thread there are a bunch of us in there who are doing different weight loss programs we are in different stages of our programs but we are all there to motivate each other. We support each other and with the support of my fellow losers I have already lost 39 pounds.

There are a couple of other threads that are offering support and motivation to the girls in there too. You have to get it into your head that you want this and you will find that their are people here somewhere that can help.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

wedding websites

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Sep 26, 2009 9:04 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Zoe,

It's okay to have a little bit of a pity-party now and then :)

But I agree that doing something - ANYTHING - would probably help your self esteem. Even if it's just a little bit of exercise.

Nastytoe - would you tell someone suffering from anorexia to just "go eat a sandwich"? Please keep in mind that losing weight might be physically easy, but can be mentally very difficult.


Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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MissApril Posts : 276 Registered: 1/21/09
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Sep 28, 2009 1:58 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Zoe, I can't relate to your story 100% but I had a pity party all my own. I was always thin and active as a kid. I took discount ballet lessons and was also very graceful. But I messed up a jump once and compressed the cartiledge in my knee and couldn't dance until the doctor gave the all-clear. That same doctor effed up and gave me home excersized that made everything worse and I limped for two years following. Thankfully things healed and I can walk fine now, but I was overweight after these two years of not wanting to walk because it was embarasing. I became bulemic, which was miserable. You think you're completely in control when nothing could be further from the truth. I didn't realize how bad it was until the last time I forced vomiting and saw blood. So that was it, I went to my school psychologist who helped me to get through it. I gained a ton of weight back and had to start all over again, with a new strategy. I became a vegetarian just so I HAD to pay attention to what I was putting in myself. You would not believe how much of what you eat has cow in it. The pop you drink said "moo" at one point. So anyways, then my mom got us a puppy. A border collie/malmute mix. VERY active little girl and she's been keeping me active for 4 years now. So think you could get a dog? Dogs are great motivation to move around. Espically when every time you wake up and their face is right in yours begging for some play time.
CoolStick your head out the window and smile for a satellite picture!Tongue out

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lesasue86 Posts : 75 Registered: 9/8/09
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Oct 21, 2009 12:46 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Hi ! I read your story, felt very bad because i had i same problem but the difference is you have 9 months and i had 6 months. And you know what i did not lose hope and i took a diet plan along with extensive workout. I joined a gym and took a weight instructor who helped me reduce my weight. I actually lost 12kg before my wedding and people who knew me were shocked to see just drastic effect. So my advise is you can also lose weight, not much but atleast you can proudly walk in your wedding gown on that special day.
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JenniferWillson Posts : 70 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 8:07 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Dec 25, 2012 12:00 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

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Caleb_Dumolo Posts : 8 Registered: 3/5/13
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Apr 11, 2013 4:28 AM Go to message in response to: jackson132

Have faith in god and every thing would go well.

http://www.bestbridespeeches.com

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PrincessOfPortl... Posts : 9 Registered: 12/16/13
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Dec 17, 2013 5:44 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Don't get too down on yourself, you have 9 months (maybe a bit less now) to get in shape. That's plenty of time! Just remember that it's entirely in your control; start eating right and exercise several times a week, NO MATTER WHAT. If you start making excuses to pass on the gym one day, you'll do it again. So always go - I just force myself. After the first few weeks, which are hard, you actually start to enjoy working out and feel bad when you don't.

Diet is trickier, and it sounds like you like to eat (don't we all?), but again, willpower: pick a plan and stick to it. Get your H2B in on it and you can get fit together!

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niko1 Posts : 3 Registered: 12/6/13
Re: feeling hopeless....
Posted: Dec 24, 2013 5:38 AM Go to message in response to: Caleb_Dumolo

There is always hope, you need just to start everything on time.

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