****Please Help *****

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hkt2886 Posts : 6 Registered: 9/14/09
****Please Help *****
Posted: Sep 14, 2009 12:52 PM

My boyfriend and I just got engaged this past weekend and I know that it is a little too soon to be thinking about this considering we don't ahve a date yet and we are thinking about a long engagment to save some money, but location has been on my mind. See my fiance and I live in Illinois along with all his family and my family lives in New Hampshire and Florida so I am having a hard time figuring out where to have the wedding. Everyone is asking and before I start planning anything I need to know what location it is going to be in. Any help would be appreciated!!!

Edited by: hkt2886 on Sep 14, 2009 1:18 PM


kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: ****Please Help *****
Posted: Sep 14, 2009 1:42 PM Go to message in response to: hkt2886

I would have the wedding where you live, it makes it a lot easier to plan it if you can easily access the venues and such. The other option is to have your mom or other family member do the leg work for you in the place where they live. You will have to trust them to follow through on your wishes. You can also hire a wedding planner they will be a big help.




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MsMeghann Posts : 147 Registered: 3/4/08
Re: ****Please Help *****
Posted: Sep 14, 2009 3:22 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

First, congrats on your recent engagement! This is a very happy time for you both, so before you start stressing, remember: this is supposed to be fun. You're only doing this once!

Now, lemme ask you this: have you ever had your eye on someplace in particular either in IL or back home in NH? What kind of place have you imagined or where can you envision your wedding? Additionally, does your FH have any feelings on type of venue or locaiton itself?

These were questions I asked myself and DH when we started planning. I'm originally from Philly, we live in DC now, but have family ALL over the country, including Louisiana, CA, FL, OH, IA, NY and so on. I always knew I wanted something like an elegant evening. For me, a "relaxed country affair" wasn't what I personally was going for. So once we decided on the type of venue, that helped us figure out location. Budget was also a big factor for us too (DC's costs and taxes are different than PA's).

Point is, figure out what YOU TWO want to do, and the family will be there wherever your special day is.

I wish you the best of luck in planning.

Soon to be Mrs. Scherrer


hkt2886 Posts : 6 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: ****Please Help *****
Posted: Sep 14, 2009 4:08 PM Go to message in response to: MsMeghann

Thank you so much for the advice. I have envisioned something in the Mountains of New Hampshire and we have discussed that together, but our minds keep going back to the family and what would be easier for them. I know that this is supposed to be our day, but we are the type of people that look out for other people before we look out for ourselves. That is a hard trait to break if you know what I mean. '

We are going to discuss it a little bit over the weekend and get our engagement announcement together, so that should be really exciting.

What is really hard right now is not really having any of my family in this area to enjoy doing all the research with. I miss them all especially now.

Thanks again for the advice


jellybean91908 Posts : 216 Registered: 2/9/09
Re: ****Please Help *****
Posted: Sep 14, 2009 5:01 PM Go to message in response to: hkt2886

It sounds like no matter where you have the wedding, at least part of your family (yours or his) is going to be doing some traveling.

You might want to consider whether or not either side of your family will be contributing to the wedding. While this may not even be a factor for you, I personally would not want my family to be paying for a big chunk of my wedding and also have to pay for travel expenses to get to said wedding.

Another thing it sounds like you might want to consider is which side of the family would be more willing or more excited to travel (I would limit this question to immediate family only). A wedding in a different state may be a great "excuse" for someone to take a vacation or travel to a new state. Next July, my fiance's brother is getting married. We live in Indiana, but his fiance is from Wisconsin. They have decided to have their wedding in Wisconsin, and most (if not all) of FH's family is thrilled about having a little vacation.

Also, are you planning on inviting a lot of friends in addition to just your family? If so, where is the biggest chunk of that guest list living? If most of your friends are living in Illinois, you may have better luck with a wedding in IL than inviting them to New Hampshire. Again, some may welcome this trip; others may not be financially able to do so.

You also have the option of picking somewhere between Illinois and New Hampshire. This could be difficult planning-wise, and I would definitely recommend hiring a planner from the area if you go this route. This way, neither family has "home field advantage." Everyone is traveling at least a little bit. This could be a great option if you don't stress out often or aren't afraid to delegate tasks to other people. This could also be incentive to travel around and investigate other areas while you are saving up for the big day.

Whatever you do, remember to keep your vision and your wants and needs in mind, not just those of everyone else. Think about your stress level (without wedding planning factored in) and how much more stressful planning a wedding in each of the various locations could be for you. And, above all, don't lose sight of what the day is all about: you and your FH coming together for the rest of your lives.

Good luck!

Future Mrs. Millington

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Re: ****Please Help *****
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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: ****Please Help *****
Posted: Dec 24, 2012 4:04 PM Go to message in response to: hkt2886

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