Someone help me!!!!

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emilyk26 Posts : 4 Registered: 11/5/10
Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Nov 5, 2010 4:44 AM

My FH and i just got engaged and we r talking about the wedding he is a down home southern country boy and i am a cajun city girl. He wants a wedding in a barn i want one on the beach. his parents and family live in arkansas mine live in louisiana. And he and i live in Florida. So idk where to do the wedding or how do i get his family to go somewhere when they cant afford it? Im sooooo confused!

to the world you may only be one person but to that person you could be the world....coreysbabygirl

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Nov 5, 2010 6:53 AM Go to message in response to: emilyk26

First of all you can't get people to go somewhere they can't afford. And it's wrong to expect people to go where they can't afford.

That said, you have two different families to consider.

You can fall back on tradition and get married where you are from. You can get married where you both live now, which might be easier and more convenient. Or you can get married where he's from.

Personally, I got married where I was from in NJ even though I'm living in VA now. DH's family is in VA so that chose to travel or not.

If you hold it say in FL and there are people unable to travel, you could hold a post-party like reception where he is from with pics from the wedding etc (but not redoing your ceremony). That way his family who is unable to travel can still see things from the wedding.

If your family is able to travel, then you could decide to hold the wedding where he is from.

There really is no right answer - you both have to discuss your options and make a decision together - then that's your right answer.

 

 

 

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Nov 5, 2010 2:23 PM Go to message in response to: emilyk26

Okaaay, just answered your previous post without reading this one.

So, as I said in the other one, you have some questions to answer, before the barn/beach issue even comes up:
1. When will you be ready to get married--emotionally, financially, educationally, etc.?
2. How will you finance a wedding? Do you have money? Expect to save it? Expect parents to supply it (and if so, do they know that??)
3. What kind of wedding do you (that means the TWO of you) want? If there's a conflict in your styles, how do you resolve that? How do you resolve ANY conflicts that you might have?
4. Having considered the money and style issues, consider the planning process itself. Who do you want/need to have there? How many people will that be? (You can't select a venue without knowing how many guests you want or can afford)
5. What works for you in the planning process? If everyone is in different places, then someone has to travel, no matter what. Under these circumstances, having the wedding where YOU reside usually makes planning the easiest. TRADITION says that the wedding takes place where the bride lives or in her hometown (tradition which originated when unmarried young women lived with their parents, so hometown was where she lived). You can't/shouldn't manipulate people into traveling to places that they can't afford. On the other hand, that doesn't mean that they should manipulate/inconvenience you, either. Some people have two receptions, one in each place (this does not have to be formal or expensive--just a meet and greet for folks who cannot attend a distant reception).

Basically, you need to figure things out in a certain order and not get overwhelmed by trying to plan everything at once. Settle the issues of date, budget, style, and location first. Everything else will fall into place. Meanwhile, if you can't resist bridal magazines and websites, keep a folder with pictures of things you love, so you know what you want when the time comes to plan the details.

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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emilyk26 Posts : 4 Registered: 11/5/10
Re: Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Nov 5, 2010 4:37 PM Go to message in response to: emilyk26

Well I am 19 and he is 20. He got medically retired as of this week because of his knees and shoulders. I am a junior in College. I am trying to get a job right now and he is a mechanic at his dads shop. My parents are paying for the wedding because im daddys little princess.

to the world you may only be one person but to that person you could be the world....coreysbabygirl

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Nov 6, 2010 8:27 AM Go to message in response to: emilyk26

Well since your dad is paying for the wedding because you are his little princess, then the thing that will make the most sense is to have the wedding where he or you want to. After all it is HIS money.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Nov 6, 2010 9:30 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. Since your Dad/parent's are paying, he gets a say.

 

 

 

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Someone help me!!!!
Posted: Dec 24, 2012 2:25 PM Go to message in response to: emilyk26

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