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Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?

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CallieNicole Posts : 14 Registered: 3/28/08
Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 5, 2008 8:06 PM

Hello!  I'm getting married on July 12, 2008, and I'm pretty excited about it!  However, I know marriage will be alot of hard work, so I'm asking all of you new brides what to expect in the first week, month, year of marriage (we're doing premarital counseling as well, did any of you do counseling?  I think it will be a big help).  I'm 20 years old, I live with my parents, and my fiance and I don't believe in sex before marriage, so I know there will be alot of changes.  Any advise to make the first days together go smoother?
"Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold."   -Maurice Seitter

colorado , july_2008 , counseling
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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,906 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 6, 2008 8:56 PM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

Are you expecting things to be rocky?  Yes it can be a difficult adjustment.  My Dh and I have married for 9 months and have had our share of  arguments.  It's perfectly normal so don't worry.  Yes it can be It's the same as having a college roommate.  I know I feel like it sometimes.  My DH is a huge gamer and, for the first few months, rarely cleaned up his mess.  Just make sure you both have a place you can go to relax and can call your own like a bedroom or a den.  Share the household responsibilities like laundry and cleaning.  Just be open and honest with each other.  That will help a bunch. 

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alyssa Posts : 239 Registered: 11/20/06
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 6, 2008 9:29 PM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

my advice is to pick your battles. my husband and i dated for three years (lived together for two) before we were married, so we had the details pretty hammered out by the wedding. but just realize that there are some things worth arguing about, and somethings that though they may be annoying (my husband like to leave his socks in the living room) are they worth arguing about? good luck.

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krista210 Posts : 451 Registered: 7/14/07
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 6, 2008 9:31 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrsperry

I'm not married yet (will be in July also) but FH and I have done everything we can think of to prepare for being married. Although we already live together and have our own routine, once we move to a bigger place we both know it will change. We have talked about how we will share finances, how the chores will be split up, how we plan to parent our children and so much more. Also you should talk to your FH about what each of you think a marriage actually IS.

Basically I think just talk and talk and talk and compromise!! Good luck - Im sure you will have a wonderful time!


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,057 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 6, 2008 9:39 PM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

wow.  there is going to be a huge transition and adjustment in store for you both!  give yourselves time to get used to the change.  don't judge anything right away.

 

i would say the best advice is to keep an open mind.  let it all unfold.

 

treat your husband as you would treat your most respected relative or friend.  when faced with difficulties approach them in that light.  don't expect anything to be perfect, everything is new and everything is change.  enjoy the experience it will be perfect in it's own way.

 

congrats 



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lmc07 Posts : 271 Registered: 1/4/07
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 11:27 AM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

Congrats on your engagement!!

Yes, there will be a lot of changes and Alyssa is right, you have to pick your battles wisely. My husband and I were living together before marriage, but when we first moved in together a few years earlier, it wasn't easy. But it wasn't bad either - I just realised that we had different ways of doing things. :)

We did not do premarital counseling, but I think it is a good way to get to know each other and what each of you expects from marriage. 

And don't worry, everything will go smoothly after the wedding!! ...at least I have not heard of anyone where it did not. ;) 




Message was edited by: lmc07

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TanisJ Posts : 2,673 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 11:52 AM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

Congratulations! I highly recommend Dr. Robin Smith's book "Lies at the Altar: The truth about great marriages". She talks a lot about the difference between the fairy tale and real life and what to expect. At the end of the book are Marriage Exercises and 276 questions to ask before you marry, which I think is fabulous for anyone, but particularly people who have not yet had the experience of living outside their parents home. In fact my husband and I still refer to it when we come across first time experiences and we are in our late 30's/early 40's.

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 7, 2008 12:30 PM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

hi and congrats. we are not married yet but FH and i live together. it was not really that big of a change for us since he lived with me at my parents house for a while. but it did change.

it took us a little bit to adjust to the whole 'you' don't have anything it is all both of yours thing.

like others have said though it will be okay if you just talk, talk, and compromise... but i think it's morecompromise, compromise, talk. lol. and the whole financial thing needed a little ironing out.

we have never had premarital counseling yet, but i don't think that we are. the pastor just wants us to fill out a questionaire and make sure we have all of our bases covered and on the same page.

oh, and the choose your own battles is also great advice whom ever brought that one up. because he really likes to leave his clothes on the floor where ever he takes them off and instead of fighting him about it (which i hate fighting to beginwith) i just pick them up nicely without saying a word. 

we are sort of like newlyweds since we have only been living together on our own since Feb. 15 but just not married yet. so if you have any questions you can alway message me on here. =]

good luck (everything will turn out fine).


         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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MareEl Posts : 18 Registered: 1/26/08
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 18, 2008 12:48 AM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

Unless you want kids right away, research and get on some birth control, preferably before your wedding.  I've heard of so many girls in your situation who got pregnant a few months into their marriage, when they really wanted to wait several years.  

And try not to sweat the small stuff...we're not married yet, but that's helped our relationship a lot.  If it's something that is really bothering you though, no matter how small, be sure to talk about it in a neutral and diplomatic way.   


Smile

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March32007 Posts : 118 Registered: 5/10/06
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Apr 18, 2008 12:31 PM Go to message in response to: MareEl

i've been married for overa year now, and I think our biggest transition was changing things slowly.  don't move in together and change everything at once.  Pick one thing at a time.  For us, we straightened out our finances, and who was responsible for what first.  Once we were comfortably working with that, we began working on the little things that annoyed each other (i leave stuff whereever I am using it so I had to work on putting things away; he never would throw anything out so now he wokrs on going through papers and stuff at least weekly).  As long as you know that not everything has to be perfect all the time, and that enjoying each others company is more important than anything else, you;ll be happy!  Good luck!

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swichwang34 Posts : 1,473 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Sep 14, 2012 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

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wzq103 Posts : 2,771 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Engaged - What to Expect as Newlyweds?
Posted: Dec 5, 2012 7:17 AM Go to message in response to: CallieNicole

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