i need severe help!!!!!!!

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soon2bmrsgriggs Posts : 5 Registered: 12/1/09
i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 1, 2009 8:30 PM

I am getting married in about six months. Normally its the grooms family the bride has the most trouble with, but its mine! My family is absolutely driving me crazy! My mom keeps rubbing it in my face that she is paying for my wedding so my options are limited. I dont have a job right now and im trying hard to find one, but i also have a mom who no matter how hard i try its never good enough. Not to mention her and my grandmother are fighting over me constanly and what they think is best for me. Im about to rip my hair out! any advice is greatly apprciated

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 1, 2009 10:00 PM Go to message in response to: soon2bmrsgriggs

Well, it's hard to advise without knowing the specific issues--like, why isn't your FH good enough? Would anyone be good enough? What are the issues between Mom and Grandma? So, with limited information, you're right--your options are limited. It is interesting that, in spite of her disapproval of your FH, your Mom is paying for the wedding. You can either 1] suck it up, or 2] refuse the money and pay for your own wedding (that "you," of course, is a plural and includes your FH). In any case, you can refuse to engage. I know that's hard, but instead of joining the fight, you can just do a mental "La, la, la, I can't hear you," and cope the best you can.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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soon2bmrsgriggs Posts : 5 Registered: 12/1/09
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 7:13 PM Go to message in response to: myra

well actually they all love my FH, and i have thought about telling my mom to go f herself and paying for my wedding, and that i didn't need her. There have always been issues between my mom and grandma. My aunts and i have come to the conclusion that its because they aer both so much alike. My grandma likes to rub it in my moms face that she "pretty much raised me" when in all actuallity she just took care of me for awhile off and on. the day i got engaged my grandma told my mom that it was amazing how close our relationship has gotten since for the first time i was born my mom didn't want anything to do with me cause i looked so much like my dad, which was bull cause my dad was there till i was a year old. I found my dad again just before i turned 17 and wanted him to walk me down. my grandma found out and in front of everyone said how my grandpa should since he "pretty much raised me". i had to walk outside. and there is more to it. its just crazy.

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JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 8:52 PM Go to message in response to: soon2bmrsgriggs

wow yea family drama. Mom and Grandma should be more considerate but I guess we can't change that.
You & your FH have to decide whether you both want to have a wedding that your mom pays for. If you & your FH already have a vision of a grand wedding by using mom's budget then try your best to ignore her & Grandma's comments. On the other hand, you & your FH can postpone the wedding until you save up enough money to fund the wedding that youve always wanted or just elope. Either way, this is your big day, it shouldn't cause you such stress. I suggest talking to your FH about what the two of you will be happy with! Goodluck!

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soon2bmrsgriggs Posts : 5 Registered: 12/1/09
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 4, 2009 2:07 PM Go to message in response to: JerseyGirlVA

ya i def have thought about the eloping but his mom wont let us, or at least really prefers we dont. We know we def want to be married before his deployment. he leaves for we think iraq in august. We just want a very simple wedding. nothing big , we just have a lot of perople...roughly 200 people including imediate family and the wedding party. not even a big reception, just like sandwiches from like subway or something, potato salad...stuff like that, and the cake of course. my mom says less people will come cause my FH and i decided no alcohol at the reception...oh so much to do...

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ICEStandard Posts : 34 Registered: 12/10/09
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 14, 2009 7:27 PM Go to message in response to: soon2bmrsgriggs

When I was planning my wedding my parents were paying for it and I had no say so where the wedding reception would take place. But when it came down to the shower and the wedding it all turned out. I know it may be difficult at times, but it seems that family members love to be in control of these things and take charge. I don't know what issues you have with your mother, but it seems that she loves you and is willing to help pay for it.


http://www.icestandard.org

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 2:20 AM Go to message in response to: soon2bmrsgriggs

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Kimberly212 Posts : 972 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: i need severe help!!!!!!!
Posted: Sep 27, 2012 8:53 PM Go to message in response to: soon2bmrsgriggs

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