Momzilla

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FMrsJG Posts : 77 Registered: 2/21/08
Momzilla
Posted: Jul 17, 2009 3:58 AM

as most know, i'm struggling w/a momzilla/parentzilla. anyone know of any books that will make her feel good but at the same time tell her to back off in a nice way?! so i'm in desperate need of ANYTHING that will work. we've already started making a "task" list for my mom in hopes she gets off my back.

thank you

PS: parents are only contributing to a small amount of the wedding...majority of it is up to FH and I

PSS: anyone else get yelled @ by their parents cuz they are having their wedding next year b/c FH is serving our country overseas this year?!

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Jul 17, 2009 10:31 AM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

I don't know the background of your situation, but I doubt that books are the answer. It sounds like you need to learn to say, 'Thanks for the advice. I'll take that into consideration when I make my decision.'

As far as the criticism goes, just learn to deal with it and don't let it get to you. That's a skill that comes in handy pretty often in life. I would just say, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but we've made our decision and our wedding date is final.'

If she's trying to 'take over,' you need to learn to say no to your mom/parents. I don't know you, but in response to that, a lot of women reply with some variation of 'I'm not very good at saying no.' Learn. It'll be the best thing you'll ever do to improve your life. Learn the value of the words, 'I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm taking care of that myself.'

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Jul 17, 2009 1:43 PM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

Ok the book idea, sounds good hypothetically, but in reality I don't think it'll work. My mother was a complete momzilla when I first got engaged. I had no idea how to handle it. One of the ladies on here made a marvelous suggestion. Give your mom a little task, something that you could care less about but she will still feel excited to do. My example was the favors, I do not have the time to put together 100 little boxes, put ribbons on them, etc. She does. She is SO happy. Another thing you could do is, depending on how much time you have before the wedding, have her look for sales. I need fake flowers so my mom, every sunday browses ads for sales on flowers. It keeps her happy and me from going insane

 

 

 

 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)

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FMrsJG Posts : 77 Registered: 2/21/08
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Jul 19, 2009 12:18 AM Go to message in response to: BriansAzBride

FH and I are working on a list of things we're gonna let our mothers do. and i have told her no but apparently when i say no or i'll think about it or i'm not sure....she comes back yelling and screaming and calling me a bridezilla. so no matter what really if its not a "i like that" or a "yes" then i get yelled at and am called a selfish brat/b**ch (yes my mother has called me taht to my face) and that i'm a bridezilla b/c i dont like an idea of hers.

and then when i DO ask for her opinion (she shoves her opinions down my throat when i dont ask for them and i was told by my father that i HAD to listen to her and her opinions whether i liked it or not) she doesn't want to give it b/c i'm a brat and i hate everything she has to say. i flat out right told her that when i dont ask for her opinion, then she needs to keep her mouth shut (that is for EVERYTHING in life..not just the wedding) and that when I do ask for her opinion, then its okay to give it. but then again when i told her that she went off and told everyone else that i'm a controlling bride and that she has the worst bridezilla in the universe and she jsut wants to smack me upside the head (she fails to realize ppl talk to me as well and tell me these thigns...and i dont say anything to them b/c well if they're teling me i'm sure they'll tell her).

she really stresses me out to the point where I dont want to do and dont do anything dealing with the wedding b/c it has turn into something i dread instead of something i enjoy.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Jul 21, 2009 12:28 PM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

In that case, I'd just roll with the punches. So she calls you a brat or bridezilla? So what? My reaction would be, 'Call me whatever you want, but I've still made my decision' or 'If having an opinion about my own wedding makes me a bridezilla, then so be it.'

I know it sucks, but you need to grow a thicker skin. Really, what harm is it going to do if she calls you a bridezilla? She's just doing it to get under your skin, so that you'll let her have her way. Don't give in. If she sees it doesn't bother you, she'll probably stop doing it.

Another option is to just continue planning your wedding the way YOU want it, without asking for advice or opinions from her. If she gives them anyway, you disagree, and she throws a tantrum, just ignore her. If she asks why you haven't been asking her for help, tell her that you don't want to deal with her drama.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Jul 21, 2009 1:09 PM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

FMG, when I first started planning, my mom and I had a few arguments as well. I think that she felt like I was leaving her out of things and didn't care about her advice. We actually had a rather childish screaming match on the way home from a bridal show. Since then, I have been more careful to make her feel included, and we haven't had any more problems.

Your Mom seems a little more extreme than mine, but I'm with Art. If she's calling you a brat or a bridezilla, just ignore her. Sure, it's easier said than done, but if you know that you're not being a brat, I'd just let it go.

 

Proud member and S.C.A.T. of POOP - People Offended by Offended People

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 5:56 PM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Sep 14, 2012 3:02 AM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Momzilla
Posted: Sep 24, 2012 11:08 PM Go to message in response to: FMrsJG

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