Need Advice

Online Users: 1,252 guest(s), 2 user(s). Replies: 8

Ann1 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/27/10
Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 9:49 PM

Me and my Fiance have been together 14 1/2 yrs. We have 2 children ages 10 and 5 and we've decided to make our union official by getting married in the caribbean. Now my problem is that my niece is also getting married in May 2011 and we've decided to get married in July 2011, does anyone think I'm taking her day away by getting married 2 months after her wedding? Does anyone think I should change it to the following year? I don't want to take anything away from what is suppose to be the most important day of her life, but so much has happened this past year that we've decided not to wait any longer.

Reply

tnichelle1485 Posts : 119 Registered: 2/28/08
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 9:54 PM Go to message in response to: Ann1

I don't think you'd be taking away from her day at all. My DH's cousin got married a month after we did and we didn't feel jipped (sp?) in the least.

Have your day! You deserve it just as much as she does:*)

GL

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Reply

Ann1 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/27/10
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 10:06 PM Go to message in response to: tnichelle1485

Thank You, and congrats on your Wedding!!!1

Reply


TheShrinkingBride Posts : 16 Registered: 8/26/10
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 10:32 PM Go to message in response to: Ann1

I definitely think you should go ahead with your plans. You didn't select a wedding date the weekend before hers. You should have your wedding at the time and place that you want.

With two months separation and your wedding after hers, I don't know how anyone could even try to accuse you of stealing her thunder. I say enjoy your wedding and your day and don't worry about it at all.

You deserve to be happy and have your wedding on the day you want just as much as anyone does.

-TSB

----- blog: The Shrinking Bride

Reply

Ann1 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/27/10
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 10:40 PM Go to message in response to: TheShrinkingBride

Thanks Shrinking bride, I understand what your saying. Some people just don't think i should do it the same year as hers because it's tacky.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 11:05 PM Go to message in response to: Ann1

Dear Ann,

" Some people just don't think i should do it the same year as hers because it's tacky."

They are wrong.

The couple owns the day they get married, not the week, not the month, not the year.

Your schedule sounds fine to me. Go for it. Invite people. It's up to them whether or not they accept or decline.

Reply

Ann1 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/27/10
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 11:12 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Your right. After me and my fiance had set a date it just seemed what is suppose to me a happy time for me with planning and making decsions, people just took the fun out by making there comments. What's worse is that they are family members as well. I wished they would just be happy for us and your right if they decide to come great if they don't then what else can i do.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Aug 28, 2010 10:21 AM Go to message in response to: Ann1

Dear Ann,

I think part of the reaction of your family is the simple human tendency to reward people when they conform to the expectations of society. Do what society expects, in the way they expect it, and people get all excited and happy. Do things out of order, and you might get a lukewarm response. You do this with your own children, I'm sure. "Do your chores and you'll get dessert. Leave your chores undone and you don't get dessert."

This is just a fact of human nature. I hope you don't take this as a personal criticism, but it's just a fact of human nature. If you graduate from high school on time, with your class, someone (parents?) might throw a big graduation party. Various friends and relatives give gifts. If you get your GED when you are 30, don't expect a big party, nor a bunch of gifts.

Same thing holds true for someone who gets married after living together 14 years and producing two children. You did not need marriage for all those years, why expect people to get all excited about it now? I am wondering if part of your family's greater excitement about your niece's wedding and less about yours has something to do with having lived together for so long and produced two children. Your family has gone 14 years saying "They're not married, and that's .... OK....".

Society's traditional "reward" for the lady who makes it her business to wait until she's married (ie not pregnant or already a mother) is the big white wedding. If the lady can't wait, and ends up pregnant, then she goes off to JOP for a quick shotgun wedding.

Reply

JenniferWillson Posts : 70 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Need Advice
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 9:39 AM Go to message in response to: Ann1

Save up to 21% off on New Trend Wedding Dress,the price is just $158.95, It's the cheapest,bug gorgeous dress.



http://www.juliebridalshop.com/aline-straight-neckline-strapless-wedding-gown-with-delicate-lace-applique-tulle-dress-p-33891.html

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine