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Etiquette for a large extended family?

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NoelleM80 Posts : 2 Registered: 2/22/12
Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Feb 22, 2012 11:54 AM

Is it rude to invite only some of my extended family? I have 11 aunts and uncles and 40 cousins (most of whom I don't speak to), and I definitely don't want a huge wedding!

guest_list , invites , etiquette
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Aunt Posts : 796 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Feb 22, 2012 2:53 PM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

Dear Noelle,

You invite family members with whom you are friends, or at least on a friendly basis. You need not invite family members you rarely see.

One cavaet: Remember the No Ring No Bring rule. This means that married and engaged couples must be invited to a mixed-gender event. I include same-sex couples living as married in a place that has no legal option for same-sex marriages.

If you invite Aunt Freda, then you must invite her husband or fiancé.

Other than that, invite the people you want to invite.

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NoelleM80 Posts : 2 Registered: 2/22/12
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Feb 22, 2012 4:23 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Thank you very much for your input; it's extremely helpful!

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LingerieBride Posts : 2 Registered: 2/23/12
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Feb 23, 2012 6:06 AM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

I agree with Aunt.

I too have a large family as they have all divorced and remarried. (and that is just my side, not even my partners) I would personally make a list of the ones you are friends with or at least spoke to in the past 3 months.

I hope this helps.

x Jess x

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Luxe_Productions Posts : 2 Registered: 3/19/12
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Mar 19, 2012 11:25 PM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

To build on what the others have stated, the general "rule" would be to invite those you are friends with. Inviting other extended family is completely optional. The biggest advice I would give in the situation you presented, is to be up front with your parents and let them know that you are only planning on inviting Aunt/Uncle A,B,C and not X,Y,Z and why. They will most likely be the people who are contacted if someone feels snubbed or is unsure whether or not they should have been invited. I hope that helps a bit more!

Jason Schintgen
Luxe Productions
http://www.luxemusic.com

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KingsQueen13 Posts : 18 Registered: 4/28/11
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Mar 28, 2012 12:28 AM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

Is the only reason you don't want to invite them because you don't want a big wedding? Or are there personal issues that weigh into the equation?

I am having a big wedding(200+) and I have a huge extended family. There are alot of 2nd cousins, etc, whom I really want to invite, but I'm afraid if I do that, it means I extend invites to about 30+ more people whom I don't want there: a group of family members whom I don't like, but will find out from others that I do like, if they get invited. Essentially, it will be my mother who will take the heat from the disliked group because she does have some contact with them, and I really don't want to put her in that position, but since she is not contributing financially to the wedding, she said she isn't going to force me to invite anyone I don't want there. I've got 6 months before invites go out and I'm sure its gonna take most of that time to figure out what I'm gonna do. Good times.

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MemoriesGrow Posts : 5 Registered: 5/23/12
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: May 30, 2012 2:40 PM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

Have you thought about having a separate dinner/celebration for your extended family?

We're having a traditional Chinese Banquet dinner a week after our wedding for extended family and friends of my parents.

A separate dinner should be cheaper than your wedding reception and you might be able to reuse certain elements (e.g. table numbers, party favors).

And I agree with the other posters, it's usually your parents who will feel the heat if you exclude extended family members.

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PlannerJessie Posts : 14 Registered: 11/10/11
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Jun 6, 2012 8:39 AM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

Yes, I agree with everyone, just invite the ones you have open contact with, besides you stated you really dont want a huge wedding.

Jessica Ares Certified Wedding & Event Planner Elite Wedding & Event Planning www.eliteweddingandeventplanner.com

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NiamhMaire Posts : 95 Registered: 6/7/12
Re: Etiquette for a large extended family?
Posted: Jun 11, 2012 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: NoelleM80

I think you should only invite family members that you know really well. Most people won't be offended and there is nothing worse than being in a room full of strangers on your wedding day.

Bing/a> |

wedding , family , invitations
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