Who sit's at top table & gives me away

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katemurphy85 Posts : 3 Registered: 12/28/11
Who sit's at top table & gives me away
Posted: Feb 5, 2012 4:11 AM

My dad died 6 years ago and my mother back in November. So, I was wondering does my older brother give me away? We don't get along and he has never done anything for me.
But if he does give me away does that mean he sit's at the top table and if he does does his girlfriend? No body in the family likes her and I don't want her on the top table but I just don't know what to do.


Syringa Posts : 115 Registered: 1/18/12
Re: Who sit's at top table & gives me away
Posted: Feb 5, 2012 9:57 AM Go to message in response to: katemurphy85

I am sorry for your loss. In a situation like yours, it is fine for you to walk in by yourself. I am a wedding planner and see family issues often. Something else we have done that people really like is to have the groom enter with the officiant, then the wedding party enters. Then, the bride begins her walk from the back and the groom walks toward her. They meet about half way and walk together to the front. Some couples say this signifies walking into their new life together.

As for the top table, you get to choose who sits there. You might have a "sweetheart" table at which only you and the groom are seated. Or, you might have only the maid/matron of honor and best man sit with you. Arrange it how you want; there are no hard and fast rules.


Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Who sit's at top table & gives me away
Posted: Feb 5, 2012 10:19 AM Go to message in response to: katemurphy85

Dear Kate,

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

We don't talk about a bride being "given away" as if she was a cow. The bride may have an escort when she walks in to the wedding ceremony, or may walk in alone. It's entirely her decision.

You can ask anyone to be your escort, male or female, related or not related. I have heard of brides asking their late father's best friend, for example.

Many brides who have lost both parents choose to walk in alone. My niece did exactly that. She believed her mother and father were both with her, in spirit, and walked in believing both were at either side, in spirit.

I could totally see them both as she came in, but then I was a crying mush of emotion. That girl had been through so much and had found a wonderful man and I was so happy for her I just broke down when I saw her enter the church.

If you walk in alone or with your parents on either side in spirit, then you need not worry about populating the head table with people you dislike.


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