Bridal Shower too early?

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ModBride Posts : 9 Registered: 11/29/11
Bridal Shower too early?
Posted: Jan 5, 2012 10:43 AM

My wedding is expected in April 2013 and since the holidays and new year fill the spots before the big day, my family wants to throw my shower 8 months out, this year....

Has anyone heard of this or is this bizarre?

I have been in many weddings...2 more this year and another one that I am attending and none of them have been more than 3 months out....

suggestions/ideas?

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: Bridal Shower too early?
Posted: Jan 5, 2012 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: ModBride

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding. Frankly, eight months prior to the wedding is too early. Too much can happen between the shower and the wedding. However, you are the guest of honor and not the host. As such, it is really not within your control to decide the date. You can attempt to influence the date but once the date is set, just be gracious. As Aunt says, there are private thoughts and public expressions.

Before the date is set, you can talk to the hosts and let them know you have no problem with a February '13 or early March '13 shower. People will have recovered from the holidaze (pun intended) by then. Should you be unable to influence the date, just show up,be polite and enjoy yourself. Should anybody question you about the shower date, you can nicely say, "I'm just a guest like you. If you have any questions, you'll need to speak with the host."

As I type this, I've come to realize that in some Northern areas travel can be a little questionable in the timeframe just before your wedding. The hosts might want to invite out of town folks and have decided to eliminate the potential bad weather issue by moving the shower up so early.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Bridal Shower too early?
Posted: Jan 6, 2012 12:35 AM Go to message in response to: ModBride

Here is a copy of the message I wrote in reply to your identical question in another thread:

Dear MB,

There is a problem with a shower so far in advance of W-Day.

Gift return.

When a couple receives wedding gifts, they are supposed to open the gift, exclaim about how wonderful the gift is, leave it in its original packaging, write a prompt thank you note, then keep it until W-Day. Only after they are actually married may they open the gift and put it to use.

Why not use it right away? Because if the engagement is broken, they are supposed to return the gifts to the givers, who then can take their gifts back to the stores for a refund. The gift-giver has to save the purchase receipt for that purpose.

Returning an item for a refund 8 months after it was purchased is almost impossible. Most stores have a 90 day return policy. Eight months later, the store's stock has changed, colors are made obsolete or the item looks "shopworn" from a long storage. Besides, the gift-giver could easily lose a receipt over that long period of time. The gift-giver becomes, essentially, stuck with a gift they bought for someone else and has little use in their own home.

If your wedding is in April, why not have the shower in March? My own birthday is in March, and I've never felt my birthday celebration is crowded out by the holidays.

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Bridal Shower too early?
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 1:28 AM Go to message in response to: ModBride

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Bridal Shower too early?
Posted: Sep 16, 2012 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: ModBride

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