Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips

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blueangel916 Posts : 1 Registered: 12/9/11
Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips
Posted: Dec 9, 2011 10:21 PM

I married my husband over two years ago in the courthouse, with just my parents present, the plan was to marry and then have our ceremony a few months later in December. Well my husband ended up leaving for Military training that month and our wedding was postponed, then when he got back from that training he was immediately deployed to Afghanistan...now two years later he is finally going to be home and we both still want a ceremony to share with our friends and family.

I even still have my dress from two years ago. How would we go about this? I don't want to look silly, but I want to show everyone what a wonderful life we have created and still have the happiness of that 'wedding' that I never experienced. So please, any help or ideas would be much appreciated!

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips
Posted: Dec 10, 2011 10:06 AM Go to message in response to: blueangel916

Dear Blue,

"How would we go about this? "

Skip the fake wedding and throw yourself an anniversary party instead.

"still have the happiness of that 'wedding' that I never experienced. "

Plenty of poeple never get to have the "wedding experience". Some of them are married, with simplistic weddings as you described. Some are single, never married.

A fake wedding involving a married couple is as silly as a fake wedding involving a single person who intends to stay single after the big event. Would you want to attend a ceremony where a single woman walks down the aisle in a ceremonial bridal gown and, at the altar, declares her intention to remain as she is, ie Single? It's a non-event.

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kate_m Posts : 10 Registered: 12/14/11
Re: Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips
Posted: Dec 14, 2011 5:05 PM Go to message in response to: blueangel916

In the invitations and when you're talking with people, call it a "celebration" instead of a "wedding" to make clear the fact that you're already legally married. As part of the ceremony, you should acknowledge the fact that you've been married for two years now, and you are just now finally having the chance to share the joy with the community.

Other than that, same as any other wedding planning?

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Shannon1987 Posts : 3 Registered: 12/15/11
Re: Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips
Posted: Dec 19, 2011 4:40 PM Go to message in response to: blueangel916

This is super common, especially in military life. There is one thing that is in question, do your friends and family (with the exception of your parents) know you are already married? If not then its non of their concern. You can still have your dream wedding and can still announce it as your wedding, just because your legally married doesn't mean it can't still be a time for you to share it with your loved ones... But if you are still on the fence about it you could always just skip to a reception. (ps. I am about to be an air force spouse and have seen all the options listed been done and it seems like no matter what is done the lady's are always happy it just depends on what you want)

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips
Posted: Dec 20, 2011 1:25 PM Go to message in response to: Shannon1987

There is one thing that is in question, do your friends and family (with the exception of your parents) know you are already married? If not then its non of their concern. You can still have your dream wedding and can still announce it as your wedding, just because your legally married doesn't mean it can't still be a time for you to share it with your loved ones.

Yeah that's a great suggestion...just lie to all your closest friends and family about being married! "Hey, you're good enough to come to my "wedding" and get me a gift and celebrate, but you're not good enough to know the truth, that I've already been married for x amount of years". What's wrong with telling people the truth, that you've been married for so long and never celebrated with your family, so now this is what your doing?

What's next? Someone who didn't get a sweet 16 birthday is going to celebrate that when they turn 17, and for those who don't really know that they are 17, well oh well right, let them believe the guest of honor is 16!

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ArcheryGirl Posts : 22 Registered: 4/15/10
Re: Please Help...odd situation need etiquette tips
Posted: Dec 21, 2011 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: blueangel916

Tell everyone you're renewing your vows. Friends and family should understand a courthouse marriage before deployment. This should satisfy any etiquette problems you think you may face and you can still get the wedding experience that you want.

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