Who will give me away?

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ABurkhart Posts : 1 Registered: 8/6/11
Who will give me away?
Posted: Aug 6, 2011 12:43 AM

My wedding is not for another year...but this questions has been on my mind forever. (WARNING IT'S A LONG ONE) Here we go...my Dad passed away when I was 10. My Mom has been remarried for 12 years I think. I didn't start having a relationship with my Step-Dad until late teens or even moreso the past few years. I talk to him and go to him for advice and he helps me figure stuff out. But I really wish my Dad could walk me down the aisle and I don't feel that my Step-Dad should give me away cause he isn't my Dad and IDK I just am not sold on it or 100% comfortable with it. And all my grandparents have passed away too.

So I was thinking my Mom could walk me down cause she was the one that raised me (giving my parents divorced when I was 1 year old) but then I thought maybe my brother, who is a year and half older than me. Maybe him cause he is the one carrying on our last name and he is like the head of our family (sort of speak). But him and my fiance have been friends for awhile (that is how I met him) so we would of course want my brother to stand up in the wedding...I just don't know who shouold give me away? What is the rule or tradition when it comes to circumstances like this?

Plus since my Step-Dad most likely won't be giving me away, I figured maybe I could do a Father/Daughter dance with him since he has been there for me. Or I thought if my Mom walked me down the aisle, when they ask who gives this woman to this man, my Mom and Step-Dad could say we do.

Sorry it's so long but ADVICE PLEASE.

<3 Amanda <3

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Who will give me away?
Posted: Aug 6, 2011 9:35 AM Go to message in response to: ABurkhart

Dear AB,

No one is "giving you away". You are not a cow.

The proper term is "bridal escort". Someone escorts you to the place where the groom waits.

Given all you said, I vote for Mom. She was the parent who raised you and she is the one who should escort you to the next phase of your life. I've been to many weddings where the bride's mother walks in with her daughter, sometimes hand-in-hand, other times just walking side by side.

There are plenty of other alternatives. My niece had lost both her parents by the time she got married. She walked in by herself, with her parents "spiritually" on either side. I was a teary mess because I could totally see my late sister and late BIL on either side of their daughter.

You might want to do the same. Walk in without any escort and allow the spirit of your late father to accompany you.

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onlyone1147 Posts : 13 Registered: 10/12/11
Re: Who will give me away?
Posted: Oct 12, 2011 4:54 PM Go to message in response to: ABurkhart

Your mother! Thats what im considering doing. Im not on speaking terms with my real- dad and I love my step-dad but my dad would make a scene if my step dad walked me down the isle. So the solution is my mother, I am really close with her, and I love her!

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MariaPearce Posts : 20 Registered: 10/11/11
Re: Who will give me away?
Posted: Nov 3, 2011 11:57 AM Go to message in response to: ABurkhart

I think having your mom or brother give you away is a great idea. If you aren't 100% comfortable with your step-dad giving you away, you shouldn't have him do so. Since your brother will be in the wedding party, I think your mom is your ultimate best bet, so she has a responsibility in the wedding! Hope everything works out, and I'm sorry to hear about your loss

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NewtonLacek Posts : 2 Registered: 11/8/11
Re: Who will give me away?
Posted: Nov 8, 2011 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: ABurkhart

My sister walked alone in her wedding because she hasnt had a father figure in her life. I want my father to escort me but he hasnt been an active part of my life from when I was 8 until I got engaged, now he wants to help in any way he can other than financially, and he believes he has the right to escort me. I will probably ask my mother to escort me because she raised me and has always been there for me. My friend had her fiances dad walk her because they had become really close and her father had passed away when she was young.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Who will give me away?
Posted: Nov 8, 2011 5:41 PM Go to message in response to: NewtonLacek

Dear NL,

"I want my father to escort me but he hasnt been an active part of my life from when I was 8 until I got engaged, now he wants to help in any way he can other than financially, and he believes he has the right to escort me."

It's not a matter of what anyone except you thinks should escort you into your wedding. It is 100% your own personal decision.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Who will give me away?
Posted: Nov 9, 2011 11:53 AM Go to message in response to: ABurkhart

You can walk alone you know. A lot of brides are doing that now-a-days. I see nothing wrong with that. But I like the idea of having your mom walk with you. I think that will be sweet. Or how about both your mom and brother? Even better! :)

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Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

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