I have two daughters getting married between now and July of 2012. My daughters are well known in my place of work as I have worked there for 10 years. Can I ask co-workers to my daughters showers as they have been involved in my daughters lives through me? I also have a step-son who is getting married in July of 2012. He has only been invovled with my husband and I the last few years so in that case, my coworkers on not very familiar with him at all. Do I give my co-workers wedding invites to his weddding?
Only if those co-workers and their spouses, fiancÚ(e)s are also invited to the wedding. That's the No Ring No Bring rule. I include same-sex couples in committed relationships where legal marriage is not an option.
I agree with everything Cat said. Inviting co-workers to a shower and to a wedding opens up a real can of worms. They and their spouses take up space, the co-workers might just see it as a gift-grab and the spouses (example: mine) gripe and moan about having to attend a wedding for someone they do not know.
As an alternative, here is what I suggest. Focus on the must-invite guest list first. That would be your friends, relatives and those of the couple. Get everyone in there.
If you still have room and money, then consider asking some co-workers with whom you socialize outside of work.
If any of your co-workers have affection for your children, then they are welcome under their own volition to give a gift, no matter their status as invited or not invited. I've done just that on several occasions, when I know a guest list is limited for some reason, but I want to express my support for the new marriage. I just get them a nice gift and send it over.