Engagement Ring for Him?

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LSChic Posts : 2 Registered: 2/1/11
Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 3:06 PM

Hey all!

So...I'm getting engaged on the weekend before Valentine's Day! My bf told me this because he knows I hate surprises. We're going to pick out a ring this weekend. YAY!

My question is whether he should wear a ring. I thought that this was a good idea, not because I don't trust him and want him to be "marked" or something but because I feel like wearing it is a sign to everyone that he meets that he's made a commitment and I think that's really sweet.

His answer is that he'll wear it if it's important to me but he thinks that it may minimize the act of putting on a wedding band. I just want to put it out there that we have not had any fights over this or even heated discussions. I just sort of let him know and he sort of let me know how he felt.

So he's kind of indifferent and leaving it up to me. I am taking his concern into consideration but I really don't see how that argument can't be made for a woman wearing an engagement ring.

I just wanted to know what everyone thought about men wearing engagement rings. Do you think it's silly? Sweet? Weird? I know that more and more couples are doing it nowadays.

Also, I wanted to note that obviously, if he was going to wear a ring, I would pay for it.

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WellWisher Posts : 175 Registered: 1/2/10
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 3:29 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

I knew a guy who had an engagement ring. It was a yellow gold, very thin band and a person could tell it was too thin to be a wedding ring. It's a nice thought and all, but honestly I thought it looked "fruity" for lack of a better term.

I think it's all about culture. If people in your area do it then I say go for it. If not then it's a little like seeing a crosswalk for ducks: people always look twice and the newcomers think, "really?"

I can see that you're trying to do something sweet, but since in most western cultures only women wear engagement rings I think people might get a wrong idea.

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 3:41 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

Hey, call me old fashioned but I think it's wierd for a man to wear an engagement ring.

The reason why I say it's wierd is because people will already assume he's married, since he doesn't get another ring to wear after the wedding.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 3:44 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

I'm neither for nor against.

I guess I don't care either way. I think the idea has been that most men wouldn't wear that many rings - like most women have an e & w ring together.

But I also know of plenty of women without an e-ring.

If he wants to - fine but I wouldn't push it if I were you.

Would you still get him a wedding ring? If so, what would he do with t he e-ring after?

 

 

 

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Sara2012 Posts : 9 Registered: 1/25/11
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 4:25 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

I think that it is whatever the two of you want. I know someone who is male and is wearing his ring during their engagement and I think it's fine.

However, I do understand his concern with the symbolism of exchanging of rings at the wedding.

Edited by: Sara2012 on Feb 3, 2011 4:26 PM

Edited by: Sara2012 on Feb 3, 2011 4:27 PM

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Beeble Posts : 306 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 6:05 PM Go to message in response to: Sara2012

I gave my fiance an engagement ring and he gave me one as well. We both wear ours and our plan is that before the wedding we will take them off and for the ceremony put them back on again. I don't plan on getting a wedding band, just keeping my E-ring.

We agreed that once we have been together a while I will get another ring to celebrate either a milestone engagement or the birth of a child. We plan on having 2 children so I thought it would be really nice to have my engagement ring to represent my husband and for each child get a thin wedding band to go on either side of my e ring.

If you want to get your FH an E-ring I say go for it!

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AnnaKay12 Posts : 17 Registered: 12/20/10
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 8:02 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

If he doesn't mind wearing one and it's really that important to you, then I say go for it! Who cares what others think.

BUT, I also think we need the answer to a question that one of the above posters mentioned: what will he do with the e-ring after you are married? Continue to wear the same ring? Wear an e-ring and a wedding band? Only wear a wedding band? If it's the first of the three options, that may be where his concern of minimizing the importance of his wedding band is stemming from. You should talk about this with him and figure out what he really wants too!

Well, I guess now I've sort of taken both sides instead of picking a stance and sticking to it! Some help I've been ;)

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PatricksLove Posts : 26 Registered: 3/6/08
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 8:44 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

My best friend just got married in October. They were engaged for about a year and he wore an e-ring because he wanted to wear something that symbolized the engagement just like she did. His ring was a simple, not very expensive, dark gray (the name of the metal escapes me right now) band that some people wear for wedding bands. His actual wedding band - that she put on his finger on the wedding day - is white gold with 5 diamonds. He now wears his "e-ring" to work (he's a prison guard), to the gym, and other places he doesn't want to take his more expensive wedding band. The way he treats his wedding band is more like a "dress" band and he wears his "e-ring" most of the time.

I don't really think it would be weird but I, like most people, would just assume he was married instead of engaged.

Patrick and Meagan <3 March 4, 2012

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 9:01 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

Ladies,

This is totally the guy's own choice, in consultation with his FW.

Similarly, if an engaged woman wears an engagement ring, it's her own choice, in consultation with her FH.

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Dunebug Posts : 30 Registered: 11/8/10
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 9:27 PM Go to message in response to: LSChic

Eh... I wouldn't go for it. He said that he'd do it if it was important to you, but is it really that important to you? Personally, I think I'd save the "this is really important to me" argument for something that truly was important, and with the wedding planning, you'll probably have a lot of that!

If it were me, I'd probably get him a nice watch or something along those lines. I think men are more about functionality than what looks nice or seems sweet. And he might even like it more. I suggest asking him if there would be something along those lines that he would like. That way, you're giving him something he'll really appreciate, not something he'll be indifferent about. Good luck!

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 3, 2011 10:43 PM Go to message in response to: Dunebug

Dear SL

"If it were me, I'd probably get him a nice watch or something along those lines"

That is probably what I would do, knowing my husband and his preferences. You can get a nice, sentimental engraving on the back of the watch.

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dodgercpkl Posts : 130 Registered: 9/27/09
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 4, 2011 11:50 AM Go to message in response to: LSChic

I think it's really up to him on this.

I will point out however that in some cultures it's tradition to. My husband is Dutch and in the Dutch culture, it's very much considered tradition to have both people wear an engagement ring!


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jbear Posts : 73 Registered: 9/18/06
Re: Engagement Ring for Him?
Posted: Feb 4, 2011 5:36 PM Go to message in response to: dodgercpkl

I got my fiance a ring. I'm not very traditional in a lot of ways, and while he did propose to me, I always thought it would be cool to propose to him as well. It was silly, since obviously the whole thing had been decided, but I still liked creating a surprise, romantic moment just for him that was unique.

As for the ring, when we looked for wedding rings he found two very different rings that he liked. They were inexpensive, so I just bought both and gave him one as the engagement ring and will give him the other for the wedding ring. He can switch and wear whatever he wants to at the time after the wedding.

It's not "normal", but it works for us.

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