Honestly, if I were you, I would cut my losses and find a new photographer. He gets to keep whatever deposit you have paid. If this isn't enough to cover the engagement shoot, work something out with him and be done.
I'm now married and our photographer was just fantastic. The photos are beautiful - we look like ourselves, there are no special effects, but they are just wonderful images and make me so happy. We didn't have an engagement shoot (or even meet her before the day!), but she came highly recommended and I instinctively knew she was right. She was also so reassuring in the run up to the day and on the day that I never had any doubts she would deliver.
If you aren't getting that feeling now, consider it a blessing that you have time to do something about it before the day. It's not asking too much to have photos you love.
Another tip as well. Some people out there purchase a camera, launch a budget or free website and call themselves a professional photographer.
You can check with Professional Photographers of America (www.ppa.com) and see if he is listed there, or your state Business Registry to see if he even has a business license, insurance, in good standing, etc. I would also ask him what type of formal training he's had, who he's assisted for, recommendations, testimonials on his website, etc.
Some of these confirmations may help you sleep a little better and make your day less stressful. The others are right, at this point in the planning process he should be treating you like you're Queen Elizabeth (at least I would).
John Naccarato :: Naccarato Photography