BM & GM

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sf Posts : 12 Registered: 1/5/11
BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 7:44 AM

I dont want a huge bridal party and I want my two closest friends as BM's but my other half wants 3 GM's. Can we keep it at 2 BM's and 3 GM's or does this just look wrong on the day? I dont really have the money to spend on an extra BM and also I dont want to ask someone for the sake of it. It would end up having to be the grooms sister who tends to be difficult when it comes to most things. HELP!

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Sevati Posts : 29 Registered: 1/3/11
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 11:00 AM Go to message in response to: sf

Sides don't have to match. You can have the 2 girls that are close to you and he can have the 3 guys that are close to him. I'm having 4 BM's and FI has 3 GM and his other best friend is marrying us. Please don't ask someone just for the sake of appearances. Especially if she's already difficult. That will just make the situation even more difficult.

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KCI Posts : 150 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 11:07 AM Go to message in response to: Sevati

Our sides are technically even, but not really because one the guys is the ringbearer.

I have my MOH, 3 BMs, and 2 Jr. BMs. He has his BM, and 4 GMs. So its 6 on my side, 5 on his. Then the ringbearer. My youngest brother who is one of the GMs will be paired with the 2 Jr. BMs since they're all about the same age.

Definitely doesn't have to be equal. Have only those you actually want to stand up with you.

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sf Posts : 12 Registered: 1/5/11
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 12:03 PM Go to message in response to: sf

Thanks ladies...you have made me feel so much better. I was beginning to feel under pressure to ask someone I didnt really want. Thanks again ladies

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 12:13 PM Go to message in response to: sf

Dear SF,

Lots of people have uneven sides. You should have a bridal party determined by who is close to you, not by some desire to match little outline drawings in etiquette books.

Moosh your little outline drawings to fit your family and friends. Don't moosh your family and friends to fit the little outline drawings.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 4:19 PM Go to message in response to: sf

We had uneven sides. 4 GM, 3 BM and it worked fine. 2 girls walked with one guy and it was cute. And the pictures also came out fine. Your photographer should know how to arrange people so nothing looks completely lopsided. My sister was in a wedding where there were 6 BM and 12 GM, and that ended up workingout b/c it was 2 to 1. If it was like 2 GM and 5 BM, then maybe that would look weird. However it shouldnt be about how it "looks". You shouldnt ask people just to make things "even"!

Don't sweat it!

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 4:22 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I also had uneven sides - 4 GM, 3 BM and it turned out great! One BM walked with two guys.

When we had the WP join us for a dance, I asked my BILs GF (now SIL) to dance with him to even it out. So if you do a WP dance, just think about that beforehand.

I was also a groomswoman in a WP with uneven sides, they grabbed me before the WP dance to let me know they wanted my husband to dance with me - as he was manning the video camera, we were able to pass it to another friend to man for the dance. :-)

Go for it!

 

 

 

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Beeble Posts : 306 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: BM & GM
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 5:02 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

We might be lopsided too. My FH doesn't have any really close friends so he might have to do something like in I Love You Man to pick a groomsman. Or he might not have anyone at all. I have 2 bridesmaids and that is all we need for witness' Might have one bridesmaid stand on either side or something if it comes down to it.

The other option I thought of would be to have both our parents stand up there with us and renew their vows together and then have them be seated for our vows etc and then have them witness.

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