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Religion: Already having Planning Troubles

Online Users: 1,264 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 18

GothicElegance Posts : 5 Registered: 12/27/10
Re: Religion: Already having Planning Troubles
Posted: Dec 30, 2010 1:59 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I have to completely agree with AOTB. My own parents are of different faiths. My mom is Catholic and my dad Jewish and they have had several issues in their relationship (24 years this December)because of the religion.

First they tried to raise their four daughters as both religions, but faced issues from other people and decided we would be raised Catholic. Problems then amounted with my dad's parents. They did not want to buy us presents on our Confirmations, Baptisms, or First Communions. THey didn't even want to go to the events and when my grandma finally decided she would, she wore Jackie-O sunglasses. My mom and dad butted heads over the religion and his common habit of agreeing with his parents.

But, the point of that was, is they compromise about things and they talk about things. Eventually my mom and her MIL became wonderful friends, but it was a long path.

You need to stand firm, as was stated earlier. But you also need to listen and open the lines of communication. Talk to your FH, talk to your parents, and then you and him and his parents need to talk together.

An Idea:
Maybe you can strike a compromise? Have the priest from the church do the ceremony at a different location so you are in more familiar surroundings?

Or, would they accept if you had a different Christian pastor/priest do the ceremony, something less strict and rooted in a tradition you might feel more comfortable with?

Because, if them not coming is out of the question, and you are sure that you want to marry this man, then you need to compromise.

Good luck lovely! I hope whatever you decide works out great for you =]

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 854 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Religion: Already having Planning Troubles
Posted: Jan 2, 2011 1:06 PM Go to message in response to: GothicElegance

My FH thinks they are just trying to scare him. He said that it was a common parenting tactic with them 'don't do this, you will get in trouble', 'don't do that, it will hurt', etc.

So he's hoping that it's like "if you don't get married our way, we won't come"--but he's not a child anymore.

I asked him this yesterday:

"What does it mean to be Russian Orthodox? What are their beliefs and values?"

and he just went "uhhhhhh, follow the 10 commandments?"

Sounds like a devout to me...

He believes in God, he believes in an afterlife...but this particular religion has no significance to him personally other than it is what his parents have practiced and the church that they have taken him to for years. He doesn't even speak Russian and all of the sermons are in Russian. He knows 'nothing' about the religion itself other than the holidays--and he doesn't even know much about them other than you get together with family and friends and eat copious amounts of food and drink.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Religion: Already having Planning Troubles
Posted: Jan 2, 2011 1:14 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

My FH thinks they are just trying to scare him. He said that it was a common parenting tactic with them 'don't do this, you will get in trouble', 'don't do that, it will hurt', etc. So he's hoping that it's like "if you don't get married our way, we won't come"--but he's not a child anymore.

And it's probably always worked before because he was a child.

As long as the two of you are on the same page - that's what's important. And as he's not devout, I don't see why the two of you should give in.

 

 

 

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smthwu123 Posts : 1,415 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Religion: Already having Planning Troubles
Posted: Dec 2, 2012 5:47 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

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