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Useless Wedding Traditions?

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BunniBride Posts : 11 Registered: 9/1/08
Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 12:58 AM

Hello, everyone!

I'm still getting all of my ideas together for my wedding (we're going to crack down on REALLY planning in January) and I'm trying to think of ways to save money already!

I want a traditional wedding for the most part - white gown, pretty bouquet, dancing, etc. but I'm open to getting rid of a lot of the useless parts that the wedding industry has created.

What are some things that you think are useless or meaningless to have in a wedding? For example, a guest book or favors? And will cutting out any of these really save me a few bucks?

Thanks!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 8:29 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

Dear Bunni,

Dory's response was great. I have little to add to her excellent message.

I will reiterate: Start from the bottom up, not the top down.

In other words, start from "nothing" and then think of what is meaningful to you.

Don't start from "everything" and eliminate. That will drive you nuts.

You are right. Vendors in the Wedding Industrial Complex lie awake at nights dreaming up new "must-haves" to guilt you into buying.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 8:31 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

Dear Bunni,

I thought one in addition to Dory's list.

Save-the-Dates.

I think they are useless. Everyone important to you already knows the date. STDs lock you into a guest list way early.

A lot of couples love the idea of "official" wedding stationery hitting their friends' mailboxes. That's great, if they have the money and the time. A bride pinching pennies can eliminate STDs right off the bat.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 8:48 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Another real way to save money is with the RSVPs. Instead of mailing RSVPs and paying for postage, have people RSVP by phone and email. This works best if you are having a buffet with no meal choices, but you can still do this with meal choices.

Again, as the PPs said, start at the bottom and work your way up.

Unity Candle - I just bought a white pillar candle and used it. It didn't have anything special on it.

Cake Cutter - My Aunt gave us a pretty crystal cake cutter and server for Xmas and we used that. It wasn't engraved, etc. If we hadn't had that, I would have just bought something at Walmart (for pics of us cutting) or seen if the caterers had something.

Champagne Glasses for Toast - Again, my aunt gave us some pretty crystal flutes. We used those. They weren't engraved - who cares. If she hadn't, we would have just use the regular glasses everyone else did.

We did candy favors and made them ourselves - it was relatively inexpensive and fun.

I printed my invites and programs myself - though after having such an issue with the printing, sometimes you can have so much hassle it's easier and cheaper to have someone do them.

Be careful about using family members - they may have the best of intentions but you may not be happy with the outcome OR getting to the event.

I really encourage you to hire a photographer. Look into it and set that money aside. :-)

Also, be aware of what your venue may include - ours included table flowers, cake, limo and a suite for the night. It was part of the contract.

 

 

 

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 1, 2010 8:50 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Oh and depending on how it works where you are having it - it may actually be more expensive to not have an open bar. This is what happened at the hotel where we had the wedding. Without an open bar there would have been a $400-$500 charge but the open bar was only $15 pp.

You just have to look at it from ALL angles to see where you can or cannot cut costs.

 

 

 

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 2, 2010 2:37 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

The others have given great advice, and everyone has her own opinions--so, in the end, what you want and what's "necessary" is up to you.

I totally agree on not giving favors. I have never (and I mean NEVER) received a favor that I cared about and saved so I would have fond memories of the wedding. A little picture frame--who needs it, and who wants to carry it around in an evening purse? Anything with YOUR information on it? Why would I want to display that in MY home??

If you're going to do gifts of some kind, most people love food. I just received a take-home chocolate cupcake, same flavors as the wedding cake--yum! Also, one couple had a photographers snapping the arrival of each guest (or couple) posed with the bride and groom. I kept that one around for quite a while. If you do favors, I recommend making them do double-duty (to save money). Use the wrapped boxes or bags as part of your decor, or as a way of indicating your seating plan.

Other ways to save--on the cake. Use fresh flowers and fruits to decorate it, rather than fancy gum paste creations. Butter cream costs less than fondant, and tastes a lot better, too. But I do not recommend saving money by compromising on the quality, especially if you plan to serve the cake as dessert (but you don't have to. You could have a small cake for cutting purposes and serve a totally other dessert. Or serve cupcakes, saving the cake-cutting fee). Every caterer will provide a knife to cut your cake (so, you don't need a special one). And, unless they're really sentimental, you don't need special glasses for your champagne.

Both the garter and bouquet toss aren't nearly as popular as they once were--the majority of brides are not doing these anymore, so save your money.

Gown: Nobody needs to break the bank on a wedding gown. Several non-bridal concerns are doing gorgeous gowns now (Tadashi, J. Crew, White House/Black Market, BCBG), and Nordstrom is about to open 14 bridal salons across the country, stressing moderate prices and great Nordstrom service. Ways to save, even on a new designer gown: go simple. Avoid heavy beading, heavy embroidery and embellishment. All of these add to the cost. If you want more bling, add a fabulous accessory. Same with shoes. Go simple and go for comfort. With a long gown, most people never even see your shoes. In fact, "Simple and Elegant" works for every aspect of your wedding--centerpieces, ceremony decor, food. "Over-the-Top" really is so yesterday, especially in this economy.

Think outside the box on reception options. You can pull out all the stops on a brunch or luncheon, still have music and dancing, and save lots of money over a Saturday night dinner. You can have a late evening ceremony and a "Just Desserts" reception--formal, elaborate, but still less expensive. Or a late afternoon High Tea. There are other ways, as well.

Open bar - not necessary. Wine/beer/soft drinks/perhaps a specialty drink or two, all that's necessary. If you have a big drinking crowd that expects to get wasted at weddings, OK, that's your call, but nobody NEEDS every brand of premium alcohol at a wedding. However, if you serve alcohol, my absolute rule is that YOU pay for it. I know there's debate here on this, but I do not believe that guests should pay for ANYTHING if they are invited to your party. If you want to save on alcohol, one great way is to schedule your wedding at an hour when less is expected (brunch, lunch, dessert, tea time).

Best single money-saving option - cut the guest list. You don't NEED to invite work colleagues (unless they're friends that you see outside of work); everybody's kids; dates for everyone (unless they're engaged or living together as long-term partners); distant relatives that you never see except at weddings or funerals; anyone that you haven't seen or been in contact with in a long time (e.g. your high school buddies); your parents' social or business "obligations." The best weddings are the intimate ones, where everyone in the room knows (and we hope, loves) at least one of you.

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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ginarook Posts : 15 Registered: 11/30/10
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Dec 6, 2010 2:47 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

I don't know if this helps much, but you can save money on an officiant by having a friend perform your wedding. I did it for mine:

http://www.theamm.org/

Also catering costs a lot, maybe you could have your family help with the food.

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wzq103 Posts : 2,771 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 11:59 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

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Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 7:21 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

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Re: Useless Wedding Traditions?
Posted: Sep 15, 2012 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

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