Having a small ring (the good side)

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MikaylaK Posts : 53 Registered: 5/23/10
Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 23, 2010 7:08 PM

Dear all,

I'm Mika, and I got engaged only three weeks ago. We're not planning a wedding yet, since the second half of this year is going to be quite crazy with job changing and my PhD graduation/job hunting. We're thinking next summer :)

The issue I wanted to address was the following. I've read a lot of the threads on here, and of course I have been delighted with tales about rings and looking at pictures of them and all. Most of all I've been struck by the stories about changing rings because the first one is too small (lack of budget or the like), and it's uplifting to find many of you would rather keep the one with sentimental attachment.

I have also found threads about choosing your own ring, which is perfectly fine, too. Just wanted to share my experience with you :). When my FH proposed, I was not expecting a ring at all. We had talked about getting engaged, and somewhere down the line he had hinted at only getting wedding bands when we got married. I was perfectly okay with this (especially considering that I'm allergic to metal).

But when he did propose, there was a ring. It's not big at all, and I absolutely love it. Since I wasn't really expecting a ring, I cannot say that I'm disappointed with the size of the rock. But even then, the special thing about it is not the rock itself. My FH considered that I like colours (and my allergy), and so he chose a thin band that crosses gold with white gold, and it twists around the rock in such a pretty way, that that's the thing I notice the most about it.

I bring it up because I've heard people (out and about) saying that the most important thing in an engagement ring is the size of the diamond or how expensive it is. I do not find that's true. I do not think my FH is cheap because he bought me a small ring (as I said, I wasn't even expecting one). I had absolutely no say in choosing it, and he chose right. I love it.

Perhaps it also depends on personality and physique. A big ring would probably look ridiculous on me (I'm very short :P, and I feel uncomfortable showing off).

What do you girls think? Is the size/price of the ring important to you? I'm not asking this to judge, just to hear different opinions :)

Enjoy your evening :)



cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 23, 2010 9:50 PM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

Absolutely not. OUrs were free. (he's got my dads, and I've got his grandmas) All we had to do was fix the prongs in his grandmas, clean and size them.

They aren't even the same color gold. Mine's white, his is yellow. But we love them I don't even remember what size the diamond in mine is, although we did have it sized, it is THAT unimportant that I forgot.

It's beautiful though, and they are perfect for us.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People


HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 23, 2010 11:20 PM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

Absolutely not. The ring symbolizes the bond and love between you and your husband. The jewellery industry are the ones who are making a killer off of us. They are the ones who have standardized that big is bigger because they are the ones who are making the money!

I work with an absolutely fantastic lady, who has been married to her husband for a coming 25 years. She said her husband offered to upgrade the diamond to something much larger and she said no. She said is attached to the original ring her husband bought her and thats that. I am not yet engaged, but the ring my boyfriend has bought me, I will keep until we die. I absolutely refuse to ever "upgrade" or change or alter the ring in any way.

Good for you for thinking that way. Though it is fun to compare and see what other ladies have, I am also a firm believer that love for each is the key factor.


breathb4thekiss Posts : 5 Registered: 11/2/09
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 26, 2010 12:34 PM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

I don't believe size/cost matters at all; it's the love that goes into the ring that makes it important in my eyes.

When I got engaged I honestly did not expect a ring but my husband surprised me with one and I couldn't love it more. I have no idea what size it is or how much it cost and honestly have no desire to know beacuse those figures wouldn't change one bit how I feel about my husband.

That being said, just from your description your ring sounds quite beautiful :)


angust87 Posts : 35 Registered: 3/24/10
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 26, 2010 2:34 PM Go to message in response to: breathb4thekiss

I totally agree with the ladies. The size, shape, cost, etc...none of that matters. It's a symbol of your love and devotion. And even without a ring, that love and commitment radiates off of you. I know that we all like to show off the bling and talk about how beautiful they are. I'm one of them...but I've come to the conclusion that no matter what anybody says we think ours is the most beautiful because of what it means and who gave it to us. No matter what size it is.
That's like my FH, he is the sweetest thing and is always trying to get me really "expensive" (for our budget) gifts for me...well, when he got my ring he got the one that he could afford at the time. After he had proposed to me, he told me in a year when he can afford a bigger diamond, he'll get me one. I told him ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! No way was I giving up the ring he put on my finger on that very special day of him proposing. It's the most important, beautiful gift I could have ever gotten and I don't want an "upgrade". After he understood what I was saying, then he was ok with me keeping the one I have. So, screw the size or quality or clarity...yes that's all nice and we all love looking at everyones prized possesion, but it really doesn't matter. But that's just my opionin.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 26, 2010 3:27 PM Go to message in response to: angust87

I'm with everyone else. Not only was my e-ring what he picked out for me, it suits me to a T. It's not huge, but I don't want anything bigger.





MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 26, 2010 3:28 PM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

Am I being honest here?

Well, I told hubs when I suspected he was ring shopping that I didn't have any preference as to price, but I would rather have a non-diamond than a small diamond. What I mean is, as shallow as it seems, I didn't want to wear a diamond that looked small.

This wasn't about how much he'd have to spend. I honestly don't care how much he spent, and he certainly could have picked a ring with no diamond at all, or chose another gemstone, one less expensive But if it were a diamond, something that was large-ish. (I honestly didn't know how big was big enough -- but he does, he cares way more about diamonds than I do, truthfully.)

What he ended up picking out, I love, and he was very thoughtful about it. I am pretty sure I didn't have to say anything at all, he just kept asking me questions.


"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson


MikaylaK Posts : 53 Registered: 5/23/10
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 26, 2010 7:02 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

It's good to hear those opinions, really. Because I know girls who expect a big diamond (I've literally heard the whole "he'll have to get me a big diamond if he wants to marry me), and also those who go on trips to odd places just to chose it.

I love my ring, and I'm glad to read you love yours too :) Love is not something you can measure in a ring, is it?


lissagettingmar... Posts : 22 Registered: 5/29/10
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: May 30, 2010 1:38 AM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

I used to have these crazy impositions on what I had to have in a diamond. I was overwhelming my poor FH with options. Custom made, specifications as to color and cut and clarity, metal type, I was just short of sending him pictures. My mom and some of my female family members had some specs of their own too - my mother had insisted to me a long time ago that I shouldn't get anything less than a carat (OMG) and blah blah blah. Then there's the two months' salary thing. You know who thought that up? The jewelry industry, lol!

Happily, I sensed my poor FH's frustration, apologized profusely, and told him to scrap everything I'd said. My only requests were princess-cut, silver-colored metal, and sparkly! (He made a similar bare-bones set of requests for his wedding band and the watch I bought him for engagement.) A few weeks later he felt relaxed enough to buy me a beautiful wedding set that I would've picked myself. It's gorgeous and I love to wear the e-ring, and I can't wait to add the wedding band.

Basic idea is...would a larger/more opulent ring have been nice? Sure. But I love my engagement ring. Most importantly, my fiance picked it out - labored over it for months to pick just the right one for me, worked hard for months to make the money to buy it - and that makes it just perfect.


NissySokol Posts : 22 Registered: 12/23/09
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 2:47 AM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

When i first got engaged i had these ideas in my head of what i wanted. I wanted something that would scream "ENGAGED!!!!" at the top of its lungs so part of me wanted something dramatic, flashy and big. i think all of us do at one point. But when it came to actually really thinking about it i realized thats not me. im not a girly girl. i barely wear any jewelry at all. I like simplicity. so when my fiance asked me what i wanted i pictured a small simple solitaire. nothing fancy. My fiance wanted to get me something big too, he felt i needed a planet on my finger, but he knew that wasnt me so when he asked me what i wanted i replied "a simple ring for a simple girl" and i think he did a fantastic job. I love my ring, i couldnt have asked for more. i dont think id be able to pull off wearing a big ring, its just not me. I think he figured, hmmm no big rock? how about alot of tiny rocks? that should work.
Here's my prettyful ring =]


This is my wedding band. i also wanted a plain white wedding band but he got me this which i love too. he got away with getting me more ice than i wanted but still keeping it simple just the way i like so we're both pleased =].

Both rings purchased at Venus Jewelry, Thailand

Wedding Tickers

Future Mrs. Sokol


dodgercpkl Posts : 130 Registered: 9/27/09
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 11:52 AM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

My wedding ring (which is an e-ring/wedding band combo) is small too, a total of maybe 1/2 carat including accent diamonds if I remember correctly and honestly anything bigger then that would look ridiculous on me. I have tiny hands and slender fingers so this ring fits me and my personality and hands perfectly! I wouldn't want it any other way. Wedding band set:

My official engagement ring is maybe 1/8 of a carat of diamonds with no center stone just all accent stones. It's simple and beautiful and again, fits me perfectly!

I proudly wear both rings daily! :)

Edited by: dodgercpkl on Jun 10, 2010 11:52 AM


ElleNChuck Posts : 50 Registered: 6/10/10
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 3:54 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

FH knows how picky I am about my jewlery and asked my opinion on engagement rings. And I was honest as well, I told him I didn't want anything with a small stone. Hey, he asked right? So, I have a gorgeous pink sapphire that I totally love and wouldn' trade for anything. I know that if FH had gone off on his own he would have felt it necessary to buy a diamond, and he probably would have gone in to debt to buy one if that was what I wanted. I'm glad he asked! Both the proposal and about the ring! LOL


asiabride Posts : 9 Registered: 7/15/10
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: Oct 19, 2010 10:41 PM Go to message in response to: NissySokol

I'd have to say that the size of the ring is important to me, but not in the way that usually comes to mind when people say that.

It sounds like we have some things in common Nissy. I'm not much of a girly girl, I like simplicity, and I don't wear alot of jewelry either. On top of that, when I do wear jewelry, it's never rings or bracelets.

I don't have a ring yet, and am still considering not having an e-ring at all. My fiance and I have looked at rings though, but if we did end up getting one, I'd want it to be small. I could get used to that after a while. But having to wear anything big or heavy on my finger every day for the rest of my life would drive me crazy!

It was kind of funny, some of the expressions we got from jewelers. We'd go to a jewelry store and when they'd offer to show us some of the rings we'd tell them we wanted to see the simplest ones that they had. Then I'd try one on and he'd ask what I thought; I'd say that it was ok, but would really prefer something smaller...

Edited by: asiabride on Oct 19, 2010 10:41 PM


BunniBride Posts : 11 Registered: 9/1/08
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: Nov 27, 2010 12:34 AM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK

My fiance just proposed to me a week ago and I received a very small ring. Honestly, I love my ring. As other people have said, I have very small hands too (just went to get my ring resized today - had to change it from a size 8 to a 4!) and I don't want a giant rock. It would just look gaudy on my hands!

Even if I had larger hands I probably still wouldn't want a large rock. My fiance has always said that I'm low-maintenance. ;) I love jewelry as much as the next woman, but I don't see why the ring size should matter. I'm just so happy that he proposed and I'm also touched that he went and spent his own money on a ring. We're young college kids and don't have much money to spend, so it's not the most glamorous ring, but it's MY ring. Symbolizing OUR commitment to each other. And I think that's what's really important. =)


carrie_beth Posts : 4 Registered: 9/4/10
Re: Having a small ring (the good side)
Posted: Jan 15, 2011 3:27 AM Go to message in response to: MikaylaK


I totally agree with you! I couldn't be happier with my simple little ring. :)


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