Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!

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ShannonE2011 Posts : 6 Registered: 4/21/10
Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!
Posted: Jul 10, 2010 5:20 PM

Hi! I'm new on the boards--just got engaged April 16th! We are planning a cruise wedding, or I guess "cruise to the wedding", since we will be getting married on a beach in St. Thomas on the 2nd day of our cruise. We want to invite all our closest friends and family of course, but then there are people I feel like I "should" invite, to be polite, but whom I don't necessarily know well enough to ask to spend thousands of dollars on a trip, and take off work, etc. etc. What are y'all doing about people who fall into the "obligation invite" category of your guest list? Are you actually sending them save-the-dates? And I wasn't planning on registering since we are doing a destination wedding, and the people who are coming are spending enough on us just to be there. So it isn't like these people will be buying us gifts...right? It just almost seems awkward to send someone a save-the-date for a cruise wedding we both (them and us) know they won't be coming to....

Edited by: ShannonE2011 on Jul 10, 2010 5:21 PM

Edited by: ShannonE2011 on Jul 10, 2010 5:21 PM

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!
Posted: Jul 10, 2010 6:16 PM Go to message in response to: ShannonE2011

Dear Shannon,

Let's face it, the people who will be there are those who know all about your date long before Save-The-Dates arrive. Grandma's already moving money from Checking to Savings so she'll have her funds for the tickets. Personally, I think that STDs for a destination wedding are overkill.

For your actual invitations, I suggest you just send invitations to those you want to invite, and then let them sort themselves out. You may find that some of those "iffy" people might accept, especially if they can hook on some other vacation or travel to your wedding.

Don't second-guess them. Don't make up their minds for them. Just invite, then see who accepts.

You do want to send out your invitations extra-early for a destination wedding. The standard 6 weeks won't be enough time.

You are right and wrong on the gifts. People will most likely give you gifts, but they won't spend a lot of money, for the very reasons you stated. Since you are not inclined, anyway, to set up a registry, then don't. If anyone asks, just say "We like surprises". That way they can give you something they feel comfortable giving you, without having to wade through a bunch of expensive stuff on a registry.

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ShannonE2011 Posts : 6 Registered: 4/21/10
Re: Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!
Posted: Jul 11, 2010 11:36 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

That really is (all of it) fantastic advice! Thank you so much, you are right on!!!

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alymar Posts : 100 Registered: 3/2/10
Re: Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!
Posted: Jul 12, 2010 2:34 AM Go to message in response to: ShannonE2011

My FH and I just sent out our invites a few weeks ago. Our wedding is in December. We decided to just do that - its just under 6 months to the wedding and its included as STD and invite. We had talked to a lot of people and they had already started making plans to travel. But we did a few - just because invites and our numbers have now gone up because they are now thinking of attending because hey, its a good excuse to go on a vacation. We had not really budgeted for it but hey, we will deal with it.

Friendship is a wonderful base for love...
When is my wedding
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com

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Katiemarie2 Posts : 2 Registered: 12/29/11
Re: Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!
Posted: Dec 29, 2011 11:06 AM Go to message in response to: ShannonE2011

I know I am late to this convo but I am considering a cruise wedding in St. Thomas as well and was wondering how it went for you or anyone who reads this?
Thanks!!

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Save the Date/Guestlist Advice Please!
Posted: Sep 24, 2012 10:42 PM Go to message in response to: ShannonE2011

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