Are we or are we not invited?

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 12:50 AM

About 2 months ago, we received a std for a friend's wedding for August. It said a formal invitation would follow. It is now July and no invitation has arrived.

There is a website listed on the std for all the wedding info including rsvp.

So what do we do? I would never call and ask directly. That would be tacky.

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agd1017 Posts : 464 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 8:56 AM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

This is the problem with Save the Dates. There really is no way you can call up the bride and ask where your invitation is. Likely, they intended to invite you and then their guest list got too high and they had to cut some of it. Unfortunately you were one of the ones that got cut.

I would just let it go. You can't say anything or ask for your invitation. Unless they are waiting til the very last minute to send out invitations, they are probably already out.

It's a bummer situation for you. Sorry.

Amanda and Eric
10/10/10

Amanda and Eric

 

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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 9:50 AM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

Or it got lost in the mail. Even "testing" addresses with save the dates, we still had a couple invitations not arrive.

Are you close enough to the people to ask how the wedding planning is going? Or some other conversation that leaves an opening for them to say "we haven't gotten your response yet" or otherwise indicate you're invited?

Do you want to go? If not, I'd ignore it.

I wouldn't be shocked if you get a call in a week or two when the RSVP deadline passes either and they wonder why they didn't hear from you.

 

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 11:55 AM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

I was thinking that maybe your invitation got lost in the mail. It happens. I would just wait and see if you get a phone call about rsvp. If you don't get a call then I would just let it go and face the fact that you were not invited. If you're close to these people then perhaps call them and ask??? But only if you are REALLY close. You wouldn't want it to be an ackward situation, but I imagine that if you are close then you would get an invite. So just wait it out and see if you get a phone call and if not then I'm sorry. At least you dont have to spend money on a wedding gift lol.

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Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 1:16 PM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

Dear Mrs C,

First, make polite inquiries amoung other friends that you believe would have been invited. "Hi, Sally, I'm wondering if you got your invitation, yet?"

Then, phone or send an email along these lines:

"Hi, I'm a bit concerned. We got a Save-The-Date from you and have, indeed, saved the date. We have not received an invitation, yet. We have the opportunity to attend another event on that very same date. If we are not actually invited to the wedding, we'd like to know, now, so we can accept the other invitation."

Other event? Make something up. Even if it just you and your husband going to the local pizza joint. That's an "event".

I know you are concerned about "fishing" for an invitation, and rightly so. However, these people did send you a bona fide STD and you, based on that, did indeed save the date. Are you expected to decline your other invitation and then sit at home that night? You are on solid grounds to query the whereabouts of the invitation if it's within a month of the "saved" date.

The chances are pretty good the people had to cut back on their list. You see that all the time on this message board. "We sent out STDs, but now we cannot afford all those people. What should we do?"

Incidentally, if you do actually receive a real invitation for the same night and if you want to accept that one and blow off the wedding, go ahead. Telling someone to "save the date" does not obligate the invitee to accept the invitation when it arrives. You are on especially solid ground since the real invitations are so late.

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 3:14 PM Go to message in response to: agd1017

Thanks everybody! That's why we didn't send stds. We didn't want to end up with too many people at the end.

It's one of my husband's friends. Although they're friends, it wouldn't be detrimental if we didn't attend the wedding.

I guess we'll just wait and see.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 6, 2010 5:26 PM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

Dear Mrs C,

"It's one of my husband's friends. Although they're friends, it wouldn't be detrimental if we didn't attend the wedding."

If you are not wildly exited about attending this wedding, then sure, I'd just wait and see. It's up to them to get the invitation to your door, and not up to you to track it down.

If it's lost in the mail, the couple should call and see about your RSVP. That's your cue to tell them you never got an invitation in the first place.

Other than that, oh well.

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 17, 2010 1:43 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

We received the invitation yesterday. It's a few days short of being a month away. I'm not sure why they waited so long to send them out.

We decided to attend the wedding next month.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 17, 2010 6:50 PM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

Dear Mrs C,

" I'm not sure why they waited so long to send them out. "

People are idiots. There's your reason.

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Jul 18, 2010 1:42 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Yeah! I guess that's the reason!

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Re: Are we or are we not invited?
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 5:35 PM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

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