tatoos on bridesmaids

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BB84 Posts : 388 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Mar 16, 2008 8:40 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

To everyone:

Ultimately, I have no problem with a corporate dress code that asks employees to cover tattoos.  It makes sense.  Some people are offended by them, right or wrong.  I would love to have a pin-up girl tattooed on my arm, but I don't because I don't want to wear long sleeves to work everyday.  The decision not to get one isn't killing me, that's for sure.  I have three tattoos, but none of them are visible in corporate dress.

Some people also find over-weight people repulsive and offensive.  Studies have consistently shown that people respond better to non over-weight people.  I am simply taking issue with AOTB's line of reasoning.  If you are going to say someone has poor judgement because they have a tattoo, which they could have gotten when they were 18, but not think the same about someone who has made consistent poor choices and as a result is over-weight and unhealthy.....well, that is hypocritical and very unfair to the tattooed person.

Tattoos have become a fad in recent years.  Eventually, such a large percentage of middle-aged people will have them that the perception will have to change.  Maybe I'll get that pin-up girl yet!

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wackywed1011 Posts : 17 Registered: 7/2/07
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Mar 16, 2008 11:12 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

AUNT,

If you are refering to my post where I discribed my sister's tatoo and the inappropriate language it contained. I have to disagree with you telling me I am foolish. Because of my first post this entire thread has gone way off course, and I was scolded for asking about covering a tatoo. I wanted the person to know why i wanted that particular tatoo covered. i did not use the words to offend anyone, only as an explanation.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Mar 16, 2008 2:25 PM Go to message in response to: BB84

To no one in particular:

This debate keeps going round and round in circles, but, really, it comes down two groups: Those who see no problems labeling those with tattoos as being somehow faulty, and those who do not.

So here's the story behind my tattoo, just cause I want to share it: It's a yin yang symbol, on the inside of my ankle, just above my pants line (thus, viewable when I'm wearing a skirt.) I got it when I was 20 years old, long before I ever had a ten year plan, but long after I knew that I would one day want to work in a professional environment. 

Getting the tattoo wasn't especially thought out. . .it was a spur of the moment decision.  It was a little bit reckless, and a little out of character for me. . .as the time, I despised anything that could be considered "permanent."  But I got it anyway. 

I would never get another tattoo.  I'm much too old, much too pragmatic, with an almost paralyzing awareness of what others think of me.  I am also continually aware of the future in a way that I wasn't then. 

But I love my tattoo.  It is a birthmark by choice.  Actually, a more apt analogy is that it is a scar. . .a permanent reminder of something that I maybe shouldn't have done.  Something I did that was a moment where I was completely living in the present.  And frankly, these days I don't get nearly enough of these moments.  My tattoo reminds me of how special those moments really are. 

I wouldn't change it for the world. My guess is that we all have had those moments. . .and we all need those reminders.  Should I be blamed because my reminder is more visible than yours?

Because, after all, the world is ripe with people who have had unplanned pregnancies, a little too much to drink one night, an "experimenting" phase in college, a motorcycle ride without a helmut. 

We tattooed folk just can't lie about our moments.  And, really, that's the difference.


_______________________________________________________
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”    - Albert Einstein

 Vote!  http://www.barackobama.com/index.php

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5in3 Posts : 806 Registered: 8/15/06
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Mar 17, 2008 4:45 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

I want to say that I agree that tattooing a child is wrong.  But to try to answer some of AOTB questions, from what my friend has told me, the tradition has been going on for several generations ( I believe 6 or 7).  Now the family does not tattoo in visible places hence avoiding the issue of it not allowing the person to get a job.  I was just curious of what others would think of this.

I have to agree somewhat with what Mrs. D. previously said.  I think it also depends on why you got the tatoo.  I will use my brother as an example, I believe he now has 7 tatoos, none are visible in work dress.  He got these tatoos for himself, and therefore respects that not everyone agrees with them, and does not feel the need to force them on people.  He, as do I, offer to cover our tattoos for special events.  We take no offense when people ask us to cover them for real purposes. 

I also have a friend who has several tattoos who got them as a "F###-You society" statement.  He takes great offense in anyone suggesting they be covered.

So my observation (only on observation could be completely wrong) but people who get tattoos for their own reasons really don't mind covering them.  However, people who get tattoos as a means to anger or provoke others are the ones who have a problem covering them.

I respect every person's opinion who says they do not like tatoos, that is your taste, just as I may not like coffee.  That is the way I am.  I won't force my tattoo on anyone, I respect their different opinion/taste. But in the same way, I would expect not to have anyone pour coffee down my throat.` 

 


Me, my honey and our kitty make 3.

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Guest
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Apr 18, 2008 12:01 AM Go to message in response to: 5in3

I just found this article on this very same topic, maybe it will help ya'll out: http://ezinearticles.com/?Tattooed-Bridesmaid---Are-Visible-Tattoos-Wedding-Appropriate?&id=1086278

Message was edited by: VioKelley

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Nmahoney82 Posts : 23 Registered: 5/19/10
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 12:05 AM Go to message in response to: wackywed1011

I have a tattoo on my wrist (amongst other places) and I actually have to cover it frequently for business meetings. If you go to a halloween store, or professional stage make up store, they have make up specifically for covering tattoos. there is also a special powder you can put over it to where it doesnt smuge or sweat off

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 12:27 AM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

Ladies,

This thread is more than two years old.

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agd1017 Posts : 464 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 1:40 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

So does that make it no longer a good conversation? I am recovering from surgery and find myself awake at almost 1am, in pain and nauseated, therefore unable to sleep. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading every single post on every one of the 12 pages. I probably wouldn't have gotten to read it had someone not posted and bumped up a 2 year old thread.

I have an interest in the topic, but am choosing not to comment because I have nothing substantial to offer to the conversation.

Amanda and Eric
10/10/10

Amanda and Eric

 

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Nmahoney82 Posts : 23 Registered: 5/19/10
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 11:46 AM Go to message in response to: agd1017

I actually bumped it because I was searching for threads on this topic, and I'm sure i'm not the only bride to be with the same curiosity. I didnt think it mattered if it was an old thread or not, to me the topic itself is still prevelant.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 1:03 PM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

Ladies,

Sure, it's an interesting topic, but you are not doing the OP any good by offering advice 2 years after the wedding.

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SarahSarah Posts : 93 Registered: 10/9/09
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 1:16 PM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

I really wish tattoos wouldn't be an issue for brides. I find it incredibly snobby to ask someone to cover them up. I was asked once as a bridesmaid to 'hold off' getting any more tattoos until after this brides wedding (before she kicked me out of it). Even though she herself has tattoos, she didn't want to pay extra money for the Photoshop that was to be done in the pictures.

(Nevermind the fact that I was told no piercings, two tone hair, and I had to grow my bangs out.)

It really hurt my feelings. I felt I wasn't good enough or pretty enough for her traditional wedding. Friends should accept you as how you already look, and if your not the 'type' they actually want for a wedding, they should hire girls as stand in friends.

That could be a profitible business if anyone wants to jump on it, lol!

I just don't like the idea of someone wanting a friend to completely alter their everyday appearance just for a wedding.

If the bridesmaid wants to do it herself, thats another thing. And I can also see if someone had an offensive tattoo. And by offensive, I mean racist or gang related. A skeleton or a dragon may be not be someones cup o tea, but I wouldn't catagorize it as offensive.


Really, the only offensive tattoos I've ever seen is this creepy guy that I've seen in bars in my hometown with homemade swastika tattoos... ON HIS FACE! Eeep!

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Nmahoney82 Posts : 23 Registered: 5/19/10
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 4:25 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Aunt,
Yes I understand that, however after reading the "newbies" thread, it stated to search for one before creating one. So i searched, and commented because I'm sure other brides want to know.

Now my original question was more towards the idea of would it be appropriate for me, the bride, to cover my tattoos for the wedding so they dont show in pictures?

And I'm sure many brides want to know, for whatever reason, if there is such thing as tattoo make-up, hence why I bumped it.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 25, 2010 7:09 PM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

Ladies,

I'll offer a few comments.

1. "Should I (the bride) cover my own tattoos so the photos will look good?"

Why? You look like yourself with tattoos. Why cover them up, just so someone can say "Hey, that's not you. You have a tattoo and that bride does not." If you want to cover them up, that's your business. I wouldn't worry about it, personally. You are who you are and a tattoo is, now, permanently a part of your skin. Your photos are you, not some actress who looks like you. The time to think about tattoos in your wedding photos was before visiting the tattoo parlor, not now.

2. "Should I ask bridesmaids to cover tattoos?"

When you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, I assume you already know that person has whatever tattoos. If those tattoos are really that bad, then don't ask that person to be a bridesmaid. If the tattoos are relatively inoffensive, and if you are willing to let them be seen, then ask that person to be a bridesmaid.

In other words, you take the bridemaid as she is. Chubby, pregnant, pierced, short haired, tattooed, whatever, she is who she is.

3. "Can I ask a bridesmaid to not do anything radical between now and W-Day?"

I think it's common courtesy for a bridesmaid to hold off on any radical changes in her appearance in the six months (or so) leading up to W-Day. It's also a really good idea for the bride to not settle on a wedding party until six months out. You want to pick "reliable" people. "Reliable" people do certain things: they show up on time, they get dresses fitted on time, they don't radically change their appearance and they don't cause unnecessary drama.

The only exception to this would be pregnancy. Babies are a cause for joy and celebration no matter if they are conceived inconveniently.

***

I'll offer my personal opinion. I really detest tattoos. I think they are all ugly, even the so-called "cute" ones. They look like a third-grader drawing on their skin with a ball point pen. I have never seen a tattoo that I like, and I think people are foolish for following fads in a way that will last the rest of their life. My brother has a tattoo on his forearm, and must wear long sleeves to work even when it's 100 degrees out.

Having said that, I have a large birthmark on my arm, extending from below my elbow towards my shoulder blade. It is a port wine birthmark, red in color, and very noticable if I wear short sleeves or no sleeves. (A famous person with a similar birthmark is Mikhail Gorbachev.)

I NEVER go out of my way to cover up my birthmark. Never. I never cover it with makeup, never particularly wear long sleeves to cover it. It is part of me, although an involuntary part of me. My own wedding photos has my birthmark in every photo taken from that angle. I would be absolutely insulted if any bride asked me to cover my birthmark with makeup so "her photos would look pretty." She would get a piece of my mind, believe me, and I would turn down her offer for bridesmaid. I would also tell one and all what a shallow bitch she was.

There is a huge difference between a birthmark and a tattoo. As I said, a birthmark is involuntary. I did not choose to put this ugly blotch on my arm; people with tattoos did make their choice. Part of the choice of getting a tattoo is living with the fact that some people (brides, bosses, etc) will take exception to it being visible. In my office, for example, we do not allow visible tattoos, but my birthmark is a non-issue.

Another giant difference is that the tattoo "says something". It could be a screaming dragon or a teddy bear, but it symbolizes something. My birthmark is just a shapeless blob.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 12:38 AM Go to message in response to: SarahSarah

one of my bridesmaids had four tattoos (ironically... she got her first tattoo when I got my second <which is incorporated into the first>)--a plumeria, a school bus, and two pawprints.... All of the tattoos are on her legs.

She told me she was going to cover those tattoos for the wedding...she wanted to have a dress long enough to cover them. I told her that was entirely up to her. I was not bothered by them at all.

Her paw print tattoos are the paw prints of her dogs. When her dogs were put down, her vet made a plaster paw print for her. She took that plaster paw print and had it turned in to her tattoos. And while those tats sound kinda boring...they are actually amazingly beautiful. They are colorful...one is blues and greens and the other is red and orange...the colors she sort of associated with the animals themselves.

But the thing is... I would never have asked her to cover those up. They are a part of her...and I actually know what each of those tattoos means to her and why she got them. She chose a part of her body which she'd be covering up in the most casual of work places and pretty much she just doesn't wear outfits that would show them anyway...but that is entirely her decision.

I have a tattoo. I will cover it up for plays because my CHARACTER might not have a tattoo. I didn't for a show, and a lot of people actually thought it WAS make up (although...I can't imagine why "Little Shop of Horrors" Audrey would have a tattoo... a lot of people believed that it was make up and were amazed at our level of detail :) ) Most times, I forget about it. It's just a part of who I am. My tattoo...if I got a job at a conservative business which expected women to wear skirts/dresses...I'd have to invest in the tattoo cover. Mine is on the back of the calf of my right leg.

Misty

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Cubbhiee Posts : 1 Registered: 6/26/10
Re: tatoos on bridesmaids
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 7:27 AM Go to message in response to: BB84
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