Tough time at cousin's wedding

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bkurtz Posts : 11 Registered: 5/27/10
Tough time at cousin's wedding
Posted: Jun 22, 2010 6:23 PM

I just wanted to share this to see if there is anyone else out there that might be dealing with the same thing as me.

I lost my mother to cancer when I was a young girl. Although I don't really remember her I still notice almost everyday that there are things I am missing out on by not having a mother. At my bf's cousin's wedding last weekend the bride dedicated a song to her mom, had a mother daughter dance, and gushed about how much support her mother gave her during the engagement and wedding. This made me just about breakdown because all I could think of was, when I get married I won't have a mother to do the mother-of-the-bride things. I won't have a mother to take me dress shopping, or to give me opinions on anything, or to support me and tell stories of her wedding.

I just wanted to get some advice for brides who went through a wedding without a mother or brides-to-be that are coming up with ways to honor their mothers that have passed away. I don't want my wedding to be a sad day but I still want to find a way to have my mom with me.


chris42005 Posts : 89 Registered: 4/6/10
Re: Tough time at cousin's wedding
Posted: Jun 22, 2010 7:47 PM Go to message in response to: bkurtz

Is there another "mom" type figure in your life? Is there an Aunt who stepped up and was involved or a friend;s mom that was there for you? If you wanted you could honor them. I did not have a mother/daughter dance or do anything like what you saw. Remember this is your wedding and you should make it reflect you and your other half.


BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Tough time at cousin's wedding
Posted: Jun 23, 2010 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: chris42005

Well what I did was I took a piece of my mom's wedding dress and sewed into the hem of my dress. I knew it was there and that was all that mattered to me. I didn't need some big show or memorial. I was content and knew she'd be happy with it too.




 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)


Dani303 Posts : 18 Registered: 6/3/10
Re: Tough time at cousin's wedding
Posted: Jul 1, 2010 12:46 AM Go to message in response to: bkurtz


I lost my mother when i was 17 and my man and i are thinking of getting engaged soon. It really hurts knowing that i wont be able to share my news with her.
The way im working around it is to have a non-traditional wedding..and to mention my mother in a speech..

With regards to dress shopping and all that...ive actually decided on taking my partner shopping with me first...i wont let him know which dress i decide on tho...and then for help with everything ive chosen a couple of my friends mothers to help out.

The thing is that she might not be there in person, but she will be there in memory, yours and all your other families....she will be thought about a lot.


Starqueg Posts : 17 Registered: 10/30/09
Re: Tough time at cousin's wedding
Posted: Jul 23, 2010 3:27 AM Go to message in response to: bkurtz

My mother hasn't passed away, but she's made the choice to not be a part of my life. She left the country about five years ago and I haven't seen her since. I doubt she'll be at my wedding, or around for any of the planning.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle some of it. For dress shopping, I plan to invite my future mother-in-law, my father, and a close friend. As for the wedding, I don't have a clue. I don't plan on dancing with my father, and don't know why I would dance with my mother even if she was there. The people I'm close to are the once who will be honored. My late-brother will also be mentioned at some point, along with other close relatives who have passed.



HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Tough time at cousin's wedding
Posted: Jul 24, 2010 10:01 AM Go to message in response to: bkurtz

You know, I grew being daddy's girl and he is currently losing his battle with cancer, will probably say my goodbye this afternoon. We are planning our wedding for the spring so you can imagine how difficult it is.
The key is to dwell on the family and friends you have now. As hard as it is for me to right now(seeing him so sick and knowing I have just a couple days left with him), I also know I have some incredible friends and family who will be there and will support me and my honey through this all.

Is there something you could post at your wedding to put up in her memory? something to remind yourself of the great memories you do have?

Keep it together because it's obvious you're a strong women. I know deep down in my heart, that he will be present in spirit at my wedding. I also know he would want me to be happy on that big day-so we will make it happen.
Good luck.


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