Something I will never understand

Online Users: 1,258 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 11

Lemoncakeface Posts : 33 Registered: 11/13/09
Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 12:44 AM

As I plan my wedding, a friend I've known for several years always seems to have a brain lapse when we talk about our ideas for our weddings.

Even though I've never been interested in things like puffy dresses and traditional rings. Not that there is anything wrong with those things. I'm very happy that those things make her happy and thats she's getting them but they are very very not me.

Everytime the subject of my dress comes up (I'm in search of a fun short dress with a twist) she gives me a look like I've decided to cut off my hands. She gives me a long speech about never having the chance to wear a big white dress gasp! again. If I don't want one now why would I ever crave one later? They aren't me and never have been. My first prom I wore a big white and pink dress. Worst decision I've ever made. I was uncomfortably hot the entire time and I needed help getting in and out of a car. Blech.

I've already told her all these things but she delivers this speech often enough. I just grin and bear it now. In the end I will have my fun party wedding dress that suits my personality and I won't regret it ever. ha!

I just wanted to share this with you guys and give you a thread to vent about all the stuff people are pressuring you into.

Reply


VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 5:39 AM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

I'll never understand why people nitpick about weddings that aren't their own. Granted, sometimes they're doing it out of love and "just want you to be happy", but it's sickening how many times I've seen brides talked out of something they really had their heart set on, just to please family/friends. While the day may not always be just about you, you have to stand your ground on some things!

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

Reply


FairyTaleBride Posts : 52 Registered: 9/20/07
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 7:03 AM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

I has the same problem with my co-worker who just got married! A little opposite though. I want the big formal wedding with the dress I can not wear anywhere else and she did not want a viel or train and was going casual. When she asked me details, and I gave them, I would get..."WELL I am NOT a traditional bride and I dont want that!" I finally sternly explained to her that her wedding will be lovely and fun and reflects her and her husband. Her family would feel out of place if she had my wedding. On the same note, MY family would be disappointed if I was not having the wedding I was. About a month befre her wedding she finally figured it out, her wedding was wonderful, and I danced all night with her! Now she says she is excited fo rmine. Good luck to you with your friend.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 9:56 AM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

Dear LCF,

Let's turn things around. Let's say you give in to her nagging and get a poofy white dress. Let's say, later, you really wish you would have gotten the short cute dress you originally wanted. You'll go the rest of your life regretting not getting the short cute dress!!!

You just have to do what you think, at the time, is best then live with your decision. This holds true for all decision points of life. Do you regret the "road not taken"?

If you have children, will you regret losing the freedom of a childfree life?

If you don't have children, will you regret the absence of children and grandchildren?

If you work for MegaCo, will you regret not working for a small start-up?

If you work for TinyCo, will you regret not having the structure and stability of a large corporation?

If you live in Boston, will you regret not living in California?

If you live in California, will you regret not living in Boston?

*****

Do what you think is best. You want the short, cute dress, go for it.

Here's what you say to your friend:

"Thank you for your suggestions, I will take them under consideration."

Need something snarkier? My husband uses this, and it drives me nuts:

"I'll give that all the consideration it deserves."

Still hasn't shut her up?

"Mind your own business."

then

"Buzz off, bucko."

Reply


MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 11:52 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

"I'll give that all the consideration it deserves."

Thank for the suggestion. Now I've got something new to drive my wife and kids crazy.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


Reply

Lemoncakeface Posts : 33 Registered: 11/13/09
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 1:49 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Ha! thats great!

"give it the consideration it deserves!"-- I can't wait to use that.. I can imagine it now.

Also exactly on this applying to any decision you make. You only ever get one chance. Why should this hold any more weight than those decisions? Its a dress for pete's sake! Her's is important to her and thats fine but mine isn't (just something cute please). haha

I'm so glad there is a place like this where people have mutual respect for each other and thier decisions.

Reply

jmd22 Posts : 125 Registered: 7/17/08
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 17, 2010 3:20 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

Get the dress you want and tell your friend to mind her own business, haha.

Oh, and how about this for a short, fun dress??

http://www.theknot.com/wedding-dress/stephanie-james-couture/fifi

This is the designer who made my dress, and when I saw this dress in her shop I loved it!! It's not really me, but I thought it would be super cool for someone looking for something different and fun! :)

Reply


KaylaMarriedBrett Posts : 146 Registered: 3/12/08
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 18, 2010 3:00 PM Go to message in response to: jmd22

You could really put her in her spot when you see her at your wedding, skipping and twirling your dress with your hands and singing..."I love my dress, I love my dress!"

When is my wedding
 

Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you."

 http://brettandkayla.ourweddingday.com

Reply

Lemoncakeface Posts : 33 Registered: 11/13/09
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 19, 2010 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: jmd22

Wow.

My brain just exploded with awesome. That dress is freaking GORGEOUS!!!

Reply

jmd22 Posts : 125 Registered: 7/17/08
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jun 19, 2010 11:53 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

Isn't it awesome?! You can change up the colors on the petticoats too-- all of her dresses are amazing, but that one is just fabulous! :)

Reply

LL82 Posts : 1 Registered: 3/18/09
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Jul 7, 2010 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Indeed! I've had to give up some ideas I fell in love with, especially when my ideas were not quite traditional (I wanted lucky bamboo centerpieces, twisted with flowers, to fit my "asian theme")...but alas, I am not the one paying for the reception. However, I AM paying for my own dress, makeup, and hairstylist and I REFUSE to tie up my hair in a tight-so-NOT-me-knot, not matter how much my female relatives whine.

So your friend can whine away...

Edited by: ll825059 on Jul 7, 2010 6:05 PM

Reply

jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Something I will never understand
Posted: Dec 24, 2012 12:42 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

Wedding dresses from famous wedding designers are promoting now.
http://www.okaydress.com/wedding-dress-designers-c-65.html
Mori Lee Wedding Dress Style 6736 is just $339.99.

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine