How many BM are too many?

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usfbeachbum Posts : 27 Registered: 6/6/10
How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 9:18 PM

I guess a little background on the wedding is necessary. We are legally married but are having out religious ceremony in Nicosia, Cyprus where DH grew up. All of his family lives there and we just moved there in January. The wedding is a Greek Orthodox ceremony, and we will invite about 1,000 guests to the wedding.

Usually only about 100 people will attend the ceremony at the church and the rest will stop by congratulate and then leave the reception. They also typically have only a MOH and a Best Man.

The dilemma; I want BM but I have new friends in Cyprus I would like to include and old friends that are attending, and I want to include them as well. I think there are 7-8 girls I would like to ask. Too many?

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 9:51 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

Is it a big church or a small one, I think 7-8 girls would be to many in a small church but if it is one of the larger ones 7-8 girls will be just fine.


 

 

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 10:44 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

Dear US,

Instead of asking how many bridesmaids are too many, you might ask instead how many weddings are too many.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 11:10 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

I think you're fine if the venue is large enough. AND, anyone who ever asks a question like this, will get the same answer from AOTB...it's a 'thing'. Ignore it. If this is something his family wants and is acceptable to all, and they already know you're legally married, there is no issue.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 8:16 AM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

Honestly, I wouldn't include new friends that you've only known since January. It's up to you, but we've seen many problems come from brides asking people that they don't know well enough - or on the other side, asking 'old friends' with whom they have nothing in common anymore.

I would probably follow local tradition and have only a MOH and BM. If it's normal to have only one attendant on each side, 7-8 might seem excessive to local guests. You can probably get away with a couple extra on each side if you want, but 7-8 attendants on each side is a very large WP for the US, where it is normal to have more than one attendant.

So to answer your question, there really isn't a hard rule as to how many attendants are too many - but given that local tradition is to have only one attendant on each side, having 7-8 instead would probably look strange. If that's OK with you, go for it. Personally, however, I wouldn't want the hassle of having that large a WP, especially if I was already married and the wedding was only a religious formality. I would probably keep it to a BM and MOH, or 2-3 attendants on each side at most.

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FairyTaleBride Posts : 52 Registered: 9/20/07
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 13, 2010 6:10 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

I read recently that you should have one attendent for every 50 guests. Well, that almost leaves you with as many as you want right there!! Seriously, though, I think it mostly depends on the amount of space you have. If you want a lot of girls, an idea that I think it may work out well, would be to pick one color and let them all have a different dress. You have a lot of different friends with different personalities and a giant line of matchy girls could look overwhelming. Just an idea, of course, otherwise really you can have as many girls as you feel are closeto you and deserve the honor of being a part of your ceremony.

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triciam Posts : 128 Registered: 2/19/09
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 13, 2010 6:21 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

I think it is really up to you on how many you want. My advice would be just make sure they are reliable... the more people you have in your wedding the more people you need to communicate with. It can be a pain to try to organize a big wedding party with all the little details that they need to know. When I picked my BMs I thought of it as this... when I look at my wedding pictures 10, 20, 30, etc years from now will these people most likely still be in my life no matter where we are located? The people I chose are friends from childhood (we are 30 now) and a cousin.

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usfbeachbum Posts : 27 Registered: 6/6/10
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 1:01 PM Go to message in response to: triciam

Thank you guys very much for the feedback. I think the new friends bit is completely right. I'm not including anyone that I met in the past year besides my SIL (MOH), which leaves my sister and 3 other girls from the US that I've known for about three+ years. Bringing the grand total to MOH and 4 assuming everyone can attend the wedding.

AOTB: I know it's a bit unnecessary to have the second wedding but my in-laws would feel hurt if we din't get married in the church. And I would really hurt and scare my parents if we moved in together without getting married legally in the US. Plus all the immigration stuff required it.

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Rin2313 Posts : 15 Registered: 5/3/10
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Jun 16, 2010 11:27 AM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

Everyone has a differnet situation. A friend of mine got married last year and she had 10 bridesmaids! She had lived away from her family for a decade and was never that close to them. Her friends had become her family.

I am also going to have a large wedding party (assuming they all accept my invitation to be in the wedding party) because I have a large family that I am extremely close to. If you want to have a lot, then go for it.

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: How many BM are too many?
Posted: Sep 14, 2012 2:20 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

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