A shower etiquette question.

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ElleNChuck Posts : 50 Registered: 6/10/10
A shower etiquette question.
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 2:38 PM

I know that you aren't supposed to invite people to your shower (hosted by a non-relative, of course) that are not also invited to your wedding. But here is my issue:

I won't be able to invite all my female coworkers to my wedding but it seems the norm around here to have a bridal shower or baby shower if a coworker gets engaged or pregnant. So, if some of the ladies in the office host a shower for me am I obligated to then invite all my coworkers to my wedding?

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August28th Posts : 153 Registered: 1/28/09
Re: A shower etiquette question.
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 4:17 PM Go to message in response to: ElleNChuck

I'm pretty sure that is one instance where you don't have to invite the people at the shower to your wedding. Typically people don't invite co-workers to their weddings, so it's usually just a nice gesture your office will do for you.

I'm sure someone with more etiquette knowledge will know better than I do, but that is how I always understood it.

True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: A shower etiquette question.
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 5:38 PM Go to message in response to: ElleNChuck

No, if someone from your office hosts a shower, they don't then earn invites for all coworkers, it's a nice gesture by them, but you do not have to invite them.

I would not invite coworkers if we had it to do over again. My DH did, and about 9 months later his partnership broke up, not in a friendly way, and we are now stuck with all these wedding pictures that contain people we loathe. yuck. So, I think it's wise not to invite them and if they decide to host a work type shower, great but you still don't have to invite them.


Proud Member of P.O.O.P., People Offended by Offended People

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: A shower etiquette question.
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 5:50 PM Go to message in response to: ElleNChuck

Dear Elle,

A co-workers shower in the workplace is the only exception to the rule of inviting all shower guests to the wedding.

You also need to make sure participation is optional. I'm sure you would not twist arms, but I have heard of situations where the bride essentially "shakes down" her co-workers for cash or gifts.

It's best to just put a general invitation on the bulletin board "Shower for Elle, 6/1/2010, Lunchroom, 12:00" and then let those who want to come, come, those who don't, don't.

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ElleNChuck Posts : 50 Registered: 6/10/10
Re: A shower etiquette question.
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 8:12 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

That's a load off my mind! I like some of my coworkers and honestly would probably invite a few of them but I feel like if I'm going to invite a few I should invite them all (it's a fairly small company) but still, an extra 50 people is a little much! The way the showers work are like AuntoftheBride mentioned, just a flyer in the breakroom and everyone is welcome to stop by, but it's not required. And gifts are optional. Plus, after our last work Christmas Party, I know I couldn't afford the bar bill!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: A shower etiquette question.
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 11:51 PM Go to message in response to: ElleNChuck

Dear Elle,

So long as it's

1. In the workplace
2. Only with co-workers
3. Totally optional

you're OK.

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