I have an aunt who married a man for money, but he is very racist. His dad was in the KKK. That to me automatically makes my aunt racist for marrying him. I DO NOT want her or him at my wedding. If my husband and kids would not be respected in their home she doesn't need to be their in my eyes. But this will cause A LOT of drama and chaos? I've thought of having a small wedding but I really don't want one like that I want all my friends and co workers to be their and all of my fiance's. I just keep swaying back and forth
We have lots of assumptions going on here. First of all, since you never said so, we can only assume that your husband is of a different race than yours. I will assume that you are white and he is black--is that correct?
Next, are you assuming, or do you know, that your "uncle" is racist (just because his father was)? And if he IS racist, you are assuming that your aunt feels the same way (although, I agree, it would be hard for someone who is not a racist to be married to someone who is.) You also assume that your aunt married for money--do you know this or just assume? Finally, you assume that your not inviting them would cause chaos. With whom? And, again, do you know this, or just assume?
SO, assuming that you are having a bi-racial wedding, and assuming that your aunt and her new husband are flaming racists, can we assume that the people with whom this would cause chaos (like, say, your parents) are racists, too? Because, if they're not, then why would they not see that you cannot have a person who avowedly hates your husband and his people at your (and his) wedding?
So, now, you have to decide what's more important: not hurting the feelings of people who hate your husband, or not hurting the feelings of your husband. If you go back and forth on this question, then you probably should not marry anyone of whom your family does not approve. Once you've made the decision to marry someone who is not of your race, you have to know that a certain amount of flak from a certain type of people is just a given--either your strong enough to stand up to it or you're not.