Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)

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2kitties Posts : 1 Registered: 5/26/10
Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 26, 2010 11:39 AM

Hi all, I was hoping someone here could help me out!

Short story is, I have three younger cousins (all girls) that I'd really like to include in my wedding somehow - the eldest is 16, youngest is 12. I was considering making them bridesmaids, but there are issues with that - first, they'd be ten years younger than my two best friends who are bridesmaids; and, if making them bridesmaids means there must be an equal number of groomsmen, then that would mean we'd have to ask my fh's friends, who would be our age (around 30), and I feel like that would be weird. Having just two groomsmen works out perfectly for us, frankly, because then we can just have my brother and fh's brother and that's that. I also think that having five and five would be a bigger bridal party than I'd really like.

So - sorry if that was confusing! - I was wondering in general, I guess, what other people did with younger family members that they wanted to include in the wedding ceremony. Could I just have them be bridesmaids without groomsmen? Are there any other things they could do?

The other suggestion I've got was that they could carry my train, but I was actually hoping not to have a train on my dress. :D I suppose I could pull off an extra long veil, but again, I'd prefer not to.

Any suggestions?? Thanks!

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MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 26, 2010 12:44 PM Go to message in response to: 2kitties

I have 2 younger cousins that were BMs in my wedding. They were 17 and 15 at the time. I'm 24 and DH is 27, so they were about 10 years younger than the rest of the WP. Honestly, the age difference didn't matter at all. The only thing we had to modify because of their age was the bachelorette party... we did my lingerie shower followed by dinner, both of which they came to, and then when we went out bar hopping, they went home.

As far as the sides being even, you really can do whatever you want. Ours happened to work out even--- 7 on each side. But if it hadn't worked out that way, it would've been fine. The only time anyone will really notice is during the ceremony, but even then it isn't a big deal. It's more important that you have the people that are closest to you up there, not even numbers.

As far as the cousins carrying your train (if you even have one), it seems a little weird to me. Maybe if they were 3-5 years old it would be cute, but they are way too old (in my opinion) as teenagers to do something like that. I think it would just look awkward. You could instead have them each do a reading, or if one of them sings you could have them do a song during the ceremony.

Hope this helps!

 

 

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 26, 2010 2:13 PM Go to message in response to: 2kitties

I've been to a lot of weddings and have never thought twice about the ages of WP members. It wouldn't even occur to me to think it was weird that the BMs were ten years younger than the GM. Really, all they do together is walk arm-in-arm down the aisle after the ceremony...it's not as if you're pairing them up to go on dates. They spend literally about 30 seconds together.

So I wouldn't worry about the age difference. My sister was my MOH and she was 15 at the time, whereas the BM was in his late 20s. Like I said, it never occured to me to think twice about their ages. Should I not have had my sister in the WP because her age didn't match the rest of our friends? Of course not - that would be ridiculous.

As for the issue of symmetry, it's pretty common to have uneven sides, so if you want to ask them and your FH doesn't want to ask anyone else to be on his side, I wouldn't worry about it. If I saw a WP with two GM, two adult BMs and three teenage BMs, I would simply assume that the younger girls were family members that the bride wanted to include. If I even noticed, that's ALL I would think about it. I think you're worrying too much about what guests will see and think. Most of the time, they either don't notice or don't care about the things you're worrying about. This is one of those times.

If you want them in the WP, then ask them to be BMs. The older ones can wear the same dress, but choose an age-appropriate coordinating dress for the 12-year old. Then let your FH do whatever he wants with his side of the WP. If he wants to leave it as is, that's fine. If he wants to ask three more people, that's fine, too. Neither uneven sides nor age differences are a big deal.

If you decide that you want them to be involved in some other way, I wouldn't have them carry your train or veil. Personally, I've never seen anyone carry a train and I wouldn't want to. A train on a dress (or a long veil) is meant to trail behind the bride so people can admire it, not to be carried. And having three people fussing over you during the ceremony might be a little distracting. Some other ideas: reader, usher (seat guests), guest book attendant, handing out programs, passing out bubbles or whatever if you want guests to throw something as you exit, if they have any talents they could sing or play an instrument, etc, etc. If you just want them to feel involved, they don't necessarily need a formal role - they could hang around and help you get ready or something.

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 26, 2010 4:56 PM Go to message in response to: 2kitties

I had a matron & maid of honor (both in their 40's) 2 bridesmades (late teens) and a jr bridesmaid (early teenager)....The matron, maid of honors & both bridesmaids walked with a guy close to their age...my jr bridesmaid walked in by herself in & out of the church.....

When the time came for the introduction of the wedding party at the reception, I had the father of the jr bridesmaid be escorted in by her father. The jr bridesmaid was my niece and I had the DJ do her introduction as "Miss Jane Simpson escorted by her father Mr. Homer Simpson"

My BIL had no problem escorting his daughter into the reception and danced with the bridal party. It was actually very sweet.

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2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 27, 2010 2:00 AM Go to message in response to: 2kitties

The members of the wedding party are not actually required to date each other. This means that a) there do not need to be the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and b) the members of the wedding party to not have to be of the same age, or even from the same generation.

In my recent wedding, the two members of the wedding party were my two grown children. I maintained some decorum with them (no drunk bachelorette parties with strippers!), but frankly I'm a bit old for the drinking and strippers thing anyway. They did what they were supposed to do: helped with the last-minute set-up things, stood up for us at the ceremony, and gave toasts at the reception.


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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 27, 2010 8:32 AM Go to message in response to: 2kitties

My bridesmaids ranges from 40-13 years old! Well, my MOH is 40 and then one bridesmaid is 26 another is 21, and my Jr.Bridesmaids are 15 and 13. I am considering making the 15 year old a bridesmaid instead of a Jr. but who knows lol. As far as even sides they are not even at all. Two girls will end up walking together. For the bachelorette party I am having two parties. One party will be where the younger girls can join and the other one is for the older girls. Pretty much you can do whatever you want, it's your wedding.

 

                           
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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Younger Bridesmaids (or not?)
Posted: May 27, 2010 11:50 AM Go to message in response to: 2kitties

Dear 2k,

What you might consider is asking the cousins to be Junior Bridesmaids. JBs wear dresses similar to bridesmaids, but more modest. JB dresses have substantial straps, for example, and a higher neckline.

I would not worry about uneven sides. Lots of people do that. You want to fit your attendents to your family and friends, not fit your family and friends to some "ideal".

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