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New ring possibly?

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Rin2313 Posts : 15 Registered: 5/3/10

New ring possibly?: Posted: May 3, 2010 7:35 PM; When my fiance and I first got engaged, we did not have a lot of money. He did buy me a ring, it is small--but I loved it. However, it has been bugging him ever since. He feels like a cheapskate for buying me such a small ring, even though it was all we could afford (and it was before the economic downturn, so prices were even higher than they are now). It only made him feel worse when my sister got engaged and got a much bigger ring than I did (however, she is older than me and therefore was better off financially).

Especially since our financial situation has become more stable and comfortable, my fiance has been asking me repeatedly if I would like a bigger ring. At first, I kept telling him no, that I loved it. But now I have noticed a couple younger girls are wearing my same ring as a "promise ring". And that kind of does bother me. Am I awful for wanting a bigger ring now that we could afford it?

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charlene86 Posts : 4 Registered: 5/2/10

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 3, 2010 10:11 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; I can understand your point about seing younger girls having the same size ring as you for a promise ring but if you and your fiance are really in love and want to be together then the size of your ring should not matter. What matters is the commitment you have made to each other. Plus you said you loved the ring before you seen younger girls wearing it....so this ring should hold a place close to your heart!! It is THE ring he propposed with....don't you think the "second" ring would be lacking meaning?? I think you should keep it but maybe you could buy a really nice wedding band....a lot of girls only wear their wedding band after they get married...hope this helped a little :)

october_2011 , canada

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 4, 2010 12:13 AM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; When are you getting married? Who's paying for it? Would you rather put the money to a house? car? debt?

The ring that my DH proposed to me with is a symbol and that is why I love it and wouldn't change it. It suits me well - extremely well - and he knew that.

Personally, I don't see the point in replacing a ring just because. But that's me.

If it's something you really want and are able to do so - that's you

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 4, 2010 2:28 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; Do whatever you and FH want and can afford--it's nobody else's business.
myra@classysassyweddings.com

november_1975

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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 4, 2010 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; Like Myra said, if that's what you both want to do, it's nobody else's business. Go ahead and do it, if it's what you want and within your means.

Personally, I wouldn't - but that's me. My feelings on the subject are based on several factors:

1) Sentimental attachment to my current ring. If I'm going to wear an engagement ring with my wedding band, I want it to be the one that I was given when we got engaged. Otherwise, it wouldn't mean much to me.

2) There are a million things I'd rather spend my money on than jewelry. This would go double for upgrading jewelry I already own. I'd rather pay off student loan debt, save for retirement, take a nice vacation, or many other things. If I was not married yet, I'd rather put the money towards the wedding than towards a replacement ring if I had a perfectly good one already.

3) I'm really a sucker for old ladies with tiny rings and great stories to go with them. I'd rather hear the story of a lady with a tiny ring - or no ring at all - than hear the story of an old lady with a huge rock. My grandmother didn't have an engagement ring at all and didn't even have a wedding ring until she'd been married several years, as she got married in secret during the Depression (she had a job and would have lost it if it was known that she was married, and she needed to help support her widowed mother and younger siblings). I think it's really cool that she always remembered her beginnings by never getting a fancy ring. She wore a thin, simple gold band from after the war (when they could afford it) until my grandfather's death in the 1980s, but never a fancy ring. I like that.

In your case, I might think twice about replacing the ring right now. From what you've said, you got engaged before the economic downturn, which started several years ago - but you're still referring to your fiance, not your husband. If I had been engaged for several years, getting married would be higher on my priority list than upgrading my engagement ring.

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 4, 2010 11:38 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; Hi Rin. I think Artbride made a good point in her last paragraph - about him still being fiance right now so the wedding would be a bigger priority for me right now if I were in your shoes.

I see nothing wrong with girls wanting a "big ring". If we're all being honest with ourselves and completely put aside the sentiment of FH picking it out himself and all that then there might be a chance we would have chosen something else for ourselves. Might not be what would have been right for us (FH's are great like that - sometimes they know what we need even before we realize it ourselves!) but theres still that chance.

But the fact is that all that sentiment IS there. FH picked that out for you because his desire to marry you and make you his wife was greater than the choice of waiting a few years more just to make things "picture perfect" the way society deems it to be. Imagine how he must have been feeling - picking that ring up and thinking I cant wait to propose to her with this :). I think you THINK you want one now that you've let it get to your head but Im gonna guess that if you would get a new one - you will feel the difference :)

Also, think of it this way - would you get a brand new ring with every promotion and pay raise you might get throughout your lifetime because now you "can"? I dont think so :)

july_2010

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Rin2313 Posts : 15 Registered: 5/3/10

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 5, 2010 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: MrsS2010; Thank you everyone for your opinions. I just thought I'd let you know how it turned out.

My fiance and I had a conversation about it the other night. We don't really know why we even got this idea in our heads. We have friends getting engaged and because they waited until they were more financially stable to get engaged, they could afford more bling. I guess this kind hit a nerve in him. He started looking at rings, showing me rings-- and who, honestly, isn't mesmerized by those gorgeous rings? I think it all went to my head.

Anyway, while discussing a budget for a new ring, etc., and what we would do with the one I already have, I realized that I could not imagine parting with this ring. Its just become a part of me in the past year and a half. And even while we looked at other rings, I could not find a single one that I really thought complemented me quite like the one I have. I guess fiance knows best after all!

Also, as stated with the very cute Depression story, the ring can be symbolic of us as a couple. We decided to get engaged even though most of our friends we not thinking of marriage yet and we were still accumlating student loans, so there wasn't a lot of cash flow then. The ring is meaningful of that.

Thanks everyone.

july_2010

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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 5, 2010 11:13 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; ....and they lived happily ever after!! :) lol

july_2010

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 5, 2010 11:47 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; Rin - Thanks for letting us know what you decided to do! Congrats and I hope we hear from you more as you progress with your wedding plans!

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 6, 2010 2:25 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl; I had to agree with this post but I'm glad to see you decided to keep your ring.

I personally get very attached to the emotions and feelings that are associated with special situations, an engagement being one of them. I was blessed enough that my boyfriend let me pick the ring I wanted, and I happen to find THE one when we were together so he knew exactly which one I wanted.
I myself would NEVER alter or change my engagement ring in any way shape or form. What he proposes with, is what I will keep, cherish and care for, the rest of my life.

If you are set on getting something more "appropriate" for sizing, would your current engagement be useable as an wedding band instead? that way you can continue to wear it as part of a bridal set and get a larger ring than what you have.

Good for you for deciding to keep it. I think part of you would have regreted not keeping your original ring. Im sure its absolutely gorgeous.

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time94am Posts : 42 Registered: 5/16/10

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 16, 2010 3:34 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; Please remember that some brides don nothing but a simple inexpensive wedding band. The size or expense of your ring has nothing to do with your love. The problem is (and we're all guilty of this), we sometimes tend to compare what we have with others, ie "keeping up with the Joneses." And most likely, that is a huge contribution to why we have a financial crisis.

I know it's much easier said than done, but be impressed with what people say and do in life, not with how much they've spent on possessions.

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annarebeccal Posts : 70 Registered: 7/21/09

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 21, 2010 5:49 PM Go to message in response to: time94am; I had a tough time with this as my ring is technically a "promise ring." I picked it out but with a tiny budget. I didn't want him to spend more than $500 on it. The ring in my price range that i like the most ended up only being $150. It's only 1/5 CTW but the it's a bunch of little stone so it's not tiny and it looks sorta antique!

However, almost 6 month after me (and 6 months of nagging her FH) this girl i was partnered with at work got her 1.5 c platinum ring that was basically everything i would have wanted except the $2,000 price tag. After seeing her ring all day every day for a few months i started to really wich mine was not so practical. I was looking at new rings and debating wheather i'd want one some day. I kept getting stuck on the sentimental part. so i couldn't decide.

Well now that i quit that job and don't see her ring all day i've fallen completely in love with mine again. i know its a ring i'll always be able to wear. I won't have to worry about taking it off while taking care of our kids (someday on the future!) or what ever.

I know its heard to appreciate your ring when other's around you have so much bigger ones but who knows, maybe theirs are fake :)

october_2010 , utah

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JessyNChris Posts : 120 Registered: 4/3/08

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: May 22, 2010 2:21 PM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; A few weeks after my fiance gave my ring. He had commented on getting me a bigger ring. I told him that he didn't have to. I love my ring. He probably will for the wedding ring.
Waiting to be Mrs. Styskal

north_carolina

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Kimberly212 Posts : 2,211 Registered: 9/12/12

Re: New ring possibly?: Posted: Sep 19, 2012 7:58 AM Go to message in response to: Rin2313; A-line Gold Halter Sweetheart Drape Beaded Open Back Prom Dress With Sweep Train
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jackson132 Posts : 1,662 Registered: 9/13/12

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