Alcohol reception or not?

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XYZ1 Posts : 367 Registered: 1/7/08
Re: Alcohol reception or not?
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 8:03 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I could see a second reception-type event working if a significant chunk of the guest list is so uncomfortable with alcohol that they would refuse to attend any celebration where it was being served. In that case, the reception card or invitation would probably read something like "Cake and punch immediately following the ceremony in the Good Shepherd Church Fellowship Hall. Cocktails, dinner and dancing at 6:30pm at the Rolling Hills Country Club," with separate lines on the RSVP card for each celebration, and family members or friends who do not want to be around alcohol can simply decline to attend the later reception. But two receptions does mean more work -- more rentals, more logistics, etc. -- and that solution strikes me as more trouble than it's worth in most situations.

That said, there was actually a two-reception wedding a few years ago in my circle of college friends -- the couple's families were conservative Presbyterians who did not approve of drinking or dancing, so the couple had a low-key lunch reception, then got together with a bunch of their friends for cocktails and dancing at a local bar later that night. I didn't actually attend that wedding, but when my friends told me about it I thought that was a pretty good compromise between what their families wanted and the way they wanted to celebrate.


bridetobe28562 Posts : 2 Registered: 3/11/09
Re: Alcohol reception or not?
Posted: Mar 11, 2009 10:04 PM Go to message in response to: Sblair87

I actually am planning on doing the same thing. My grandmother and most of my mother's side of the family said that they would be honestly offended if there was alcohol at my reception. I love my grandmother very much, and could not imagine my wedding without her. I am having a church ceremony, and then a cake and hors d'oeuvres reception in the church fellowship hall. Then, everyone who is going to dinner will go to the other location where we will have dinner and dancing (and alcohol.) It will not be that much more expensive because the hors d'oeuvres will be things that my mother, aunts and I can make ourselves, and we will have a small cake that everyone can have a piece of. It will cost MAYBE an extra $300 for food ingredients and punch and a cheap cake that my aunt can make ( or I might get one from Wal-Mart.) It sounds kind of stupid but it allows everyone to feel included and to be at the wedding for pictures, and then the other half of my guests (the drinkers) to have a good time.


Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Alcohol reception or not?
Posted: Mar 11, 2009 10:18 PM Go to message in response to: bridetobe28562

If it's a big chunk of the guest list that doesn't want to have alcohol, why not have your dinner reception, and then just tell people "Hey, we're going to be at X Bar at 10, if you want to come with us, then meet us there!" and then go dancing at a club or bar all dressed up fancy with whoever it is that wants to accompany you. Treat it like an after party and drink all you want. hehe


IMG_7463.jpg picture by sarahandchris2008



BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Alcohol reception or not?
Posted: Mar 13, 2009 1:15 AM Go to message in response to: Nalamienea

I honestly don't understand how being around alcohol would "offend" someone.

I realize that there are certain religions that are anti-alcohol, and it makes sense for those people to not drink...but to be OFFENDED by it? That seems odd. My religion doesn't kneel for prayer, so shoudl I be offended when attending a wedding in which people bow to pray? Of course not.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Alcohol reception or not?
Posted: Mar 13, 2009 8:55 AM Go to message in response to: Sblair87

Where oh where is Cindybin when you need her most?
I would give anything to hear her weigh in on this thread.:)

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @  

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin



nurseinluv Posts : 6 Registered: 4/25/10
Re: Alcohol reception or not?
Posted: May 3, 2010 4:30 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Recently my FH and I sat down to discuss what we envision for our wedding.

Because of family members issues with knowing their limits, we will not have alcohol at the reception.

That being said, having 2 receptions is a larger amount of money that probably should not be spent unless you really really want to.

Do you think that either mother knows that someone in the family struggles with sobriety? Or is the family that will be attending jaded by a past experience?

You should talk to the mothers to find answers; however, it is your wedding. If there is no reason of value, have fun and have a few drinks.

Maybe just limit the bartender to certain amounts for guests!


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