Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 25, 2010 6:27 PM

I have the discussion with my fiance on a couple seperate occasions as to whether or not he should get to see the dress before the wedding.

What is the purpose or the history behind not letting the groom see the wedding gown? have you let your Fiance or will you let him see your bridal gown? if you are(or not) what are your reasons for the decision?

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August28th Posts : 153 Registered: 1/28/09
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 25, 2010 6:38 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

I think the reason grooms didn't see the dress before the wedding/bride's walk down the aisle, was because of superstition. I always heard it was bad luck for the groom to see the dress. I personally am not supersticious, but I didn't have DH see the dress before I walked down the aisle. I wanted it to be special and possibly take his breath away as he saw the total package with my hair, nails, makeup all that done. So for me I wanted his first view of it to be during the specialness of the wedding day.

True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 25, 2010 6:41 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

I didn't, and mostly I just wanted the first look photos to be the first look. So he technically saw me before the wedding started, but he did not see the dress until the day of the wedding, about an hour before. Previous to that, I sent him a couple email pics of horrible, horrible, poofy 80s style gowns for fun. I don't know what the tradition is, I just did it this way because I wanted to. Besides, he wouldn't have been excited seeing it just on a hanger, for him it was that I was in it marrying him. Generally (and some may be different) guys aren't nearly as excited about pretty dresses as we are and I know that's the case with my DH. It probably would have been a let down for me to show him the dress ahead of time, rather than with me in it on our wedding day. It was all there on the wedding day, hair, makeup, nails, pretty little slipper sandals, dress, and the meaning behind it.

I think the PP is right, superstition, but I don't know of what exactly.

Proud Member of P.O.O.P., People Offended by Offended People

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 25, 2010 8:24 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

For men to see it on the hanger it would just be a dress on a hanger. To see it on you it will be their bride. I don't want to take away from the surprise of that moment by him seeing it before hand.

We have talked about what we like in wedding dresses--I obviously want him to like it. But he's pretty open-minded. He's okay with any length from knee to floor, a light colour or white, sleeves or strapless.

So I'm not concerned about disappointing him or him not like the dress. So why show it to him beforehand? Why take away from that moment?

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 25, 2010 9:39 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

Frankly, most men are not that into fashion. What he'll see if he sees it beforehand is a white dress on a hanger. When you wear the dress, he'll see you--in the dress. It's really up to you whether you show him or not. On several occasions, I've seen future brides shopping for a wedding dress with thier fiances. For them, it was a sweet, romantic opportunity. For you, it might not be. Only you can know.
myra@classysassyweddings.com

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2bmel2010 Posts : 26 Registered: 10/7/07
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 26, 2010 3:16 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

http://www.stumblerz.com/why-can%E2%80%99t-grooms-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding/

My FH will not see me in my gown prior to the wedding. Presently, he knows absolutely nothing about the gown, with the exception that I don't fit into it :( & I'm going to keep it that way. Most men care less about fashion or anything to do with the wedding. The only thing they usually look forward to is seeing their beautiful, smiling bride happy as can be. My FH knows how excited I am with my dress thus he can't wait to see me in it.

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Lazyzoey Posts : 8 Registered: 3/16/10
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 28, 2010 11:39 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

Hmmmm, we have not such custom, actually most of my freinds pick their dresses together with their finace, heihei....I also wish to get the advice from my fiance :-)

Frame every so-called disaster with these words "in five years, will this matter?"
www.sheltonweddingdresses.com

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 30, 2010 12:25 AM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

Thank you so much for the advice girls :) I had that discussion with my honey and he's been set on not seeing it until the wedding day for the same reasons you all posted. I became quite interested in hearing what you all thought about it. Thanks again!

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JessyNChris Posts : 120 Registered: 4/3/08
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: Apr 30, 2010 5:50 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

I don't have my dress yet, or actually been shopping for one yet. But I did price check on stores around here, and one has good prices on dresses. So I have been looking at dresses on that website. There is one dress I really like. I wanted my fiance to see it.When I asked him if he wanted to see it, he said no, and he wants to wait to see it on our wedding day.
When we went to see the movie Sex and the City, he had commented on not liking the mermaid dresses the BMs were wearing. So I know not to get one. (I don't like them either.)
The purpose behind it is for you to wow him.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Waiting to be Mrs. Styskal

Edited by: JessyNChris on Apr 30, 2010 5:53 PM

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NickandJenny Posts : 1 Registered: 4/30/10
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: May 1, 2010 1:48 AM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

It is not so much as seeing the dress before and on the wedding, but the person wearing the dress before and on the wedding. It is actually based on history rather than superstition, surprisingly.

Back then, arranged marriages were how many got married. Marriages were business deals between two families. The father of the bride would want the daughter to be getting married with a man from a rich land owning family, which would entrust their future of prosperity and fortune.

If the groom meets the bride before the wedding and sees she's not attractive, the groom might back out and cancel the wedding. Which is what the family of the bride does not want, since they are trying to secure a marriage to a wealthy family. This is the history and purpose of why bride and groom are not allowed to see each other.

I hope this helped.

Nick and Jenny

Fox Event Center

www.foxeventcenter.com

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WoostaBride Posts : 220 Registered: 6/8/09
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: May 1, 2010 12:53 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

My fiance won't even let me mention the style/type of dress that I bought....he wants to be totally surprised, and honestly I do to. Superstition aside, I think that the not knowing makes the final reveal even that more spectacular. Take his breath away in that moment. Just my opinion though.

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AshleyZ1 Posts : 4 Registered: 5/2/10
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: May 2, 2010 8:56 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

I think the superstitions say that if the groom sees the bride wearing the wedding dress before the wedding, the wedding won't push through. Another belief was not to try the wedding dress until the night before the wedding. This is why your wedding dress maker should really be very careful in taking your measures so that there won't be any changes - if not major, just minor - on that night before the wedding.


All For Your Wedding: Silk Rose Petals, Wedding Favors, Wedding Cake Toppers.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Letting your Fiance see the dress? yes or no...
Posted: May 2, 2010 10:38 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

As myra said, it's just a dress on a hanger. BUT there have been ladies on here who's FH HATED the dress on the hanger - even though most everything looks COMPLETELY different on. And that was all he and she could think about.

And trust me, that first look on W-day - it wouldn't matter. I know that sounds weird.

But my DH did not see my dress. He didn't want to - it didn't matter to me one way or another. But as it was important to him, I respected that. :-)

I think you already said that you've decided for him not to see the dress, as he doesn't want to - And I think that is the best way to go for the two of you!!

 

 

 

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