My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift

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brideinNH Posts : 6 Registered: 9/26/08
My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 12:37 AM

My mother in law gave me a pair of "naughty dice" (one has body parts on it the other adjectives like "kiss", "suck" etc) at my bridal shower last weekend and I haven't been able to be intimate with my future husband since because all I can think about when we are getting physical is her picking those out at a store and thinking it was appropriate to give those to me to tell me what "acts" to perform on her son (or him on me). This is the one sacred part of our lives that she should NOT be a part of. Has anyone else experienced this? Oh, forgot to mention my fiance doesn't understand why it's a big deal...

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 5:23 AM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

I think your FMIL was trying to be in the good spirit of things, and didn't intend to upset you. Maybe it's just her sense of humor? But then again, I could understand why you are upset. For my birthday a few years ago, the mother of the guy I was dating gave me a gift basket with condoms, various KY lubricants, and a morning-after Plan B pill. I was incredibly offended by that. I was also under 18 at the time, so it was wildly innappropriate (the whole family was a bit weird).

But I really don't think you should let this affect your sex life. It's not your FH's fault that his mom creeped you out a little. Just toss the dice (no pun intended; I meant throw them away) if they bother you, or give them to a friend who might have better use for them.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 8:13 AM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Meh...I wouldn't be offended. I'm sure she was just trying to be 'one of the girls' and wasn't trying to be part of your sex life or anything. I wouldn't consider that gift to be any more inappropriate coming from my MIL than it would be coming from anybody else. Yes, receiving sex-related gifts is a little awkward, but that particular choice of gift is pretty tame. I wouldn't let it bother me.

But if you're umcomfortable, don't use them. Personally, however, I wouldn't consider the gift to be tainted because of who it came from, and I'd try to have some fun with it.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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BWFrancie Posts : 70 Registered: 11/11/09
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 8:22 AM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Please don't let this upset you. I'm sure your FMIL did not mean any harm. Toss them out and forget about it.

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brideinNH Posts : 6 Registered: 9/26/08
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 8:56 AM Go to message in response to: BWFrancie

Thanks for the responses ladies. It definitely helps to hear others weigh in on this. i KNOW it shouldn't bother me (and we did throw them away), but I just still can't get it out of my head. Hopefully time will help. Obviously no DIL/MIL relationship is simple so there are other layers to this that I won't get into here, and I'm trying very hard not to overanalyze this. I guess everything is just heightened now with the wedding in just a few weeks...

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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 9:21 AM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Alright, time to bring out my favorite story about my MIL. Let me preface this by saying my MIL is a) a little wacky and b) we get along very well, but not THIS well.

So, DH and I just got engaged. She sent a present to me (just me) in the mail. Figuring it's just a cute gesture, I open it while hanging out with DH and his roommate/best man. In the gift bag is a black and pink, lacy, negligee. Not a nightgown....definitely lingerie. Needless to say, I'm a bit...confused...by this, particularly given that we're Catholic and sex before marriage isn't usually endorsed by the mother of the groom. After DH, me and his roommate/best man laugh hysterically for about 5 minutes, DH calls his mom to delicately inquire if she's gone off the deep end. According to her, she read somewhere that this was the typical gift from a FMIL to the bride. He says thank you from me, hangs up and we laugh for about another 10 minutes.

Since she left the store tags on "in case it wasn't my size," the next day I returned it. The lady at the returns desk and I had another great laugh that this was my engagement present from my FMIL. I think I used the credit to by a sweatshirt or hand towels or something else totally unromatic. I sent her a lovely thank you note. We never let her know that she provided us a running joke whenever odd gifts come up. I was happy that she was so happy that I was joining the family that she wanted to send me any gift, regardless of what the gift was.

So, basically, I wouldn't worry about it. Just think, next time people are talking about odd gifts they've received, you win.

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 10:07 AM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Dear NJ,

It was inappropirate, sure, but you need to work hard to put that out of your mind. FH needs to have a quiet word with his mother.

Son to Mom: "Mom, that was nice of you to give Judy a present, but I note this is FH in the first person found it to be inappropriate. Please, Mom, don't do anything like that in the future."

Thus, FH shifts the blame from you to him and the MIL/DIL relationship is not strained.

Then, since he's such a gallant gentleman, you express your thanks in the traditional way that ladies express thanks to gentlemen to whom they have married. Give him the wedding night of his dreams.

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agd1017 Posts : 464 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 12:35 PM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Actually, OP, I'm kinda with you on this one. If my (very conservative) FMIL gave me a gift like that I'd be horrified. I would look at them, and look at her, probably with my mouth wide open, stupified. However, I probably would not let it affect mine and FH's sex life. We would have a REALLY good laugh about it, and let it go. Hopefully you can do the same!

Amanda and Eric
10/10/10

Amanda and Eric

 

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 12:54 PM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Obviously no DIL/MIL relationship is simple so there are other layers to this that I won't get into here.

Well, I'm with Artbride and FMM2009 here, so I think whatever those layers are, they need to be worked through. Sex is kinda important in marriage. (I'm using "kinda" as an understatement, just to be clear.)

__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 1:15 PM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

You know what I would do?

Get a bottle of wine and play some dice!

She's just trying to be fun--she obviously takes sex a lot less seriously than you do. Lighten up--sex doesn't always have to be so 'sacred'--sometimes it's best to just have fun with it.

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 2:30 PM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

I personally dont think its that serious. Especially to let it affect your sex life. I would say roll the dice and do what it says, but since you've thrown them away already, just forget about it.

 Lilypie - (8e8A)

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Jnikki Posts : 42 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 3:36 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

I think this is absolutely hilarious. I think you should feel good that your FMIL is comfortable enough or feels like you two have a good enough relationship with you that she could give you a fun gift like that. There are a lot of brides on here, that don't get along with FMILs. I actually got a lot of kinky things at my bridal shower (my FMIL lives in AL so she wasn't there, but I could c her doing something like that and me and her would probably laugh about it) and I'm gonna use them later in the marriage to shake things up.

And I agree with other PP, sex is very intamite and sacred, but its a lot of fun too if you let it be. I think it was just your MIL trying to give you a little elderly wisdom on how to have fun intimately. No harm at all.

"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" Matthew 19:6   Jamie and Bryan 5-22-10

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TheeBride Posts : 130 Registered: 1/17/10
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 9:35 PM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Uhh are you serious? Your FMIL obviously doesn't know you. Do you actually think she stood there is the "sex toy aisle" thinking "hmm, what could I get that could spice up their..." yeah right, LOL I'm sure it was a sort of gag gift (no pun intended). If she stood there in the aisle a little longer than normal, she was probably thinking something more like "I wanna get something funny, a little 'rawr' but what's not over the line..." Think about it, she could have gotten you tasty lotions/oils, a blindfold, whip and some kind of gel that's supposed to do something or another. Just sayin...be thankful you have a FMIL that's comfortable with you and has a sense of humor.

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in
my heart. I am never without it, anywhere
I go you go, my dear..."

E.E. Cummings

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SarahSarah Posts : 93 Registered: 10/9/09
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: May 14, 2010 4:02 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

OMG, Bally and FutureMrsDJLeo just made my Friday! I hope I don't get in trouble for laughing so loud @ work!


"The appropriate thing to do now is to invite your FIL's over for dinner and a game of dice!"

Though I'm no prude, I would hate to get those cheesy sex toy stuff as a gift anytime, but get me a gift certificate to adameve.com and we will be one happy couple!

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: My Future Mother-in-Law got me a very inappropriate (sexual) gift
Posted: May 18, 2010 1:35 AM Go to message in response to: brideinNH

Not to sound rude, but i find this situation absolutely hilarious. Not sure why you are thinking about it so much. I honestly doubt that she as much as you are thinking about it.

Bridal shower = funny gifts

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